New to board, 6w5d along — The Bump
Military Families

New to board, 6w5d along

Hi there,

I got a surprise BFP a week and a half ago. First appt is set for June 6th when I'll be at the 9 week mark. This is a surprise pregnancy and our first. We're very excited, but also nervous. The timing isn't great, but we are happy none the less. DH is active Army, I'm National Guard. We're stationed in TX, and he is deploying in a few months. So, he'll miss the last half of the pregnancy, as well as baby's first 8 months. I'll be moving home to be near family (my mom and dad were both diagnosed with cancer --Mom's is terminal-- within the last six months) and spend as much time with them as I can. I know they'll be a big help, but I'm also dreading being a "single" parent for so long. DH was looking forward to his second deployment, but now can't believe he's going to miss so much. But, that's the way it goes. I'm sure a lot of you have experienced similar. 

So far we've both told our parents and best friends, but we are holding off on telling the rest of the world for another month or so.

Anyways, I just wanted to say hi and introduce myself. Like I said, we weren't planning for a baby, and we thought for sure it'd still be a couple years down the line before we even tried. I have so much to learn, and I'm so paranoid about doing something wrong or not being prepared. Hopefully between all the books, countless hours of research, and TB, I'll feel more comfortable by the time baby comes!

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Re: New to board, 6w5d along

  • Congrats!!! So sorry to hear about your mom. I'm glad you'll be able to be close to her tho. And hopefully his deployment will be cut short! I got back about 12 weeks ago and mine (along with a lot of other units I know) got cut short.

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  • Thank you! I'm happy that I can go be with my mom, too. She's a fighter and is doing so much better than anybody expected (she's heading home now from a cross country road trip that would have made spring breakers jealous -- lol). We don't have a timeline though, so that's the hard part. I'm hoping she will be able to meet her grand baby. She happened to be here on Mother's day, and I got to tell her I was pregnant and got her reaction on video...I'll treasure that forever :)

    Now deployment being cut short -- that would be amazing. His best friend just had a son in December and got to deploy almost a month late. We won't be so lucky, but I'll be thankful for anything I can get, even if it's just his two weeks of R&R!

     

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  • Congrats on your BFP!  I'm glad that the upcoming changes will allow you to go home to spend time with your parents (and I'm so sorry to hear of your parents' diagnosis).  It sounds like while it might not have been the timing you might have chosen to have your first child, it is providing you an opportunity to head home at a very important time.

     Pregnancy/military-wise, my situation was similar to yours.  My DH left for training out of state (he was on a MiTT assignment) when I was about 20 weeks along and deployed when I was 30-something weeks.  And he redeployed on LO's nine month birthday.  Because of the MiTT assignment, the Army paid to move me where I wanted to go--so I opted to move to Nashville to be near my family.  As an Army wife, it was a blessing to be with my family when I had our son, and the first months of his life.  I'd have rather my DH been with me/us, but that's Army life.  :)

    All that to say, to a degree, I've been where you are.  You'll get through it.  Remember, as difficult as it is for you and your DH to be apart during the time he'll be gone, as long as your LO is cared for and loved, s/he won't know that daddy is deployed.  And as a wife/mother whose soldier returned two weeks ago from another deployment (DH left just before LO turned three), deployment with a baby was much less hard than with a preschooler! 

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  • Congratulations on your pregnancy! You'll do great with baby. I know it seems overwhelming but babies are tough and the fact that you are worried about doing it right means you'll be great. My husband was gone for most of my pregnancy and the birth of the baby but he was home for a few months shortly after birth. But he did leave again for a few months. What I'm saying is I don't totally know what you are going through but as far as the pregnancy and the birth it was fine. Missed him the most after baby came but he didn't get the crazy pregnancy hormones or see me super swollen. and labor was fine. I had some good support from friends. Maybe consider a doula? I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. I lost my father to pancreatic cancer 7 years ago and it is still painful. I will say that we were very lucky that he was not in much pain and we got to say goodbye. We had a lot of great laughs and shared a lot of stories and time together before the end and it is time I will treasure forever. I wish you all the best during this difficult and exciting time.
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