XP: 9 month appt. DISASTER

adoxyinherear

Mobile: 9 month appt. DISASTER

Or maybe I am overreacting. Or maybe DD's pediatrician is overreacting, considering there's nothing wrong with her.

Firstly, she wants DD pulling up and cruising "any day now." We are nowhere near this.

She also wants DD to be eating three solid meals a day, and while I can get one into her easily, she's just not usually interested the rest of the day. And she wants me to offer solids BEFORE nursing, which goes against everything I've read. Isn't BM more calorie dense and more nutritious than anything else I could offer her? And she said DD should be nursing 4 times a day, tops, and going between 6 and 8 hours a night without waking to eat. And if she does wake, I'm supposed to let her CIO.

I think it's time for a new pediatrician. 

In the meantime, I don't know what to do about food. DD is gaining fine, and she's actually in the 20th percentile now, instead of the 5th. She's perfectly chubby and she's satisfied after she nurses and after she has solids. I can't force feed her, and when she turns her head away and moves the spoon away from her mouth, I'm going to respect that she's done eating. But I know it's probably not a bad idea for her to have at least two decent meals a day.

Gaaaah. What are your LOs habits around 9 months? Sorry for the craziness of this post.

Missa_g

Excuse my bluntess, but she is full of crap.  Food before one is just for fun.  At 9m actual my boys were barely eating solids at all, they had no interest.  At 9m adjusted they were happily eating one decent meal a day with several snacks.  At 11m adjusted, 13m actual we are just now up to three solid meals.  

adoxyinherear

Missa_g:

Excuse my bluntess, but she is full of crap.  Food before one is just for fun.  At 9m actual my boys were barely eating solids at all, they had no interest.  At 9m adjusted they were happily eating one decent meal a day with several snacks.  At 11m adjusted, 13m actual we are just now up to three solid meals.  

Thank you! Because this is seriously how I feel. There are plenty of babies who MAY do these things at her age, but I've not found anything to warrant getting scolded because she isn't. I thought I was doing well getting one good solid meal in her, and STTN is a developmental step she just hasn't reached yet. 

martinimomma

Not to pull out technical terms here, but your pedi appears to be a crack-smoking twatwaffle.

Or, put more generousely, really out of touch.

Every kid is different. Not all kids "cruise" at 9 months, even without gross motor delays (which we had so I'm no help there on what is normal - DS didn't sit unsupported till 9 months).  Steady progression with physical milestones is what you're looking for, I think. Food before 1 is just for fun, and to feed solids before nursing makes no sense in a baby that young, IMO. 

And her BF advise is whackadoodle.

 

 

adoxyinherear

I love you gals. Thank you.

I'm on the hunt for a new pediatrician. Elinor won't be going back until 12 mo., of course, but I really think we're done with this woman.

orangegoggles

:::Hugs::: Sorry you had a bad appt. It must be so frustrating! 

Many people have told me to trust my gut when parenting. When I was pregnant I didn't really  think much of the comment but now that I have DS here, I realize its my best tool! I would definitely switch pedis so that your on the same page and have the same goals. She sounds a bit dated. 

I often tell the parents of my students, "You are the best expert regarding your child" and the same applies here. Keep trucking mama, you're doing a great job!

crystalknpp

DS just started army crawling at 8 months and he's content with that.  We're nowhere near cruising yet.  I always offer a bottle first and then food about 30mins later.  He's eating 4-5 8oz bottles a day and 2 solid meals but sleeps from 8pm until 6 or 7 am without waking.  I think your LO is just fine and every baby is different.  As long as she is happy and healthy that is all that matters.

Oatoa

I've got nothing new to say.  Just that I agree with PP and that you are within your rights to find a new pediatrician.  DD was getting most of her nutrician through bottles up until one year and we supplemented with purees and cereal.  She just wasn't ready for solids until she was closer to one.  And there is nothing wrong with that.

Every baby is different and your's is perfect. 

blessedhope

my SIL has EBF all 8 of her babies until 1 year old and they have been some of the fattest healthiest babies. You know what is best for your baby and I say listen to your mommy instinct telling you the pedi is full of bologna

JulyMomma2U2

I agree -- sounds like it's time to get a new Ped   I'm sorry she was so harsh!

DS STILL doesn't crawl.. but, he'll cruise around if we have him standing at the coffee table or sofa.. however, he also doesn't pull himself up without assistance.. our ped was perfectly fine with that.  

Eating wise, he's a porker, and loves food (minus the past month, but I think that's reflux related).. so, that's never been an issue with us.. we still give him 4 bottles a day on top of 3 meals and intermittent snacks -- again, ped was perfectly fine with that.. like she told us, if he's hungry, feed him.. if he's not, then don't!  

I think you're doing a great job -- so sorry she made you feel bad!!

ETA: Correction -- we only give 4 bottles a day now, not 5!  Pg brain strikes

MickeyM04

FWIW, at 9 months DS was eating 3 solid meals a day and getting 5 formula bottles a day, 4-6 oz apiece.  We did drop down to 4 bottles a day at about 10 or 11 months because he wasn't seeming to be very interested in one of the bottles...once we dropped to 4 he was finishing all of them.  DS was also STTN at 9 months.  So your ped's advice does not sound off to me compared to what we were doing at 9 months, honestly.

That being said, if you're not comfortable with your ped, then you should get a new ped because nothing anyone else says will make you like your ped more.  The only thing that rubbed me the wrong way about what your ped said was the pulling up and cruising thing.  My DS wasn't crawling, pulling up or crusing at 9 months and I was freaking out.  My ped told me to call him if that was the case at closer to a year.  So that's the only part of the advice I gave the side eye too.

Not to be the the douchenozzle of this post but I don't think pediatricians are all about just telling you what you want to hear.  They are going to tell you what they believe is best for your child based on their medical training.  Will you disagree with it sometimes, probably.  Such is life.  I don't think any of the advice you were given is life or death advice; it's all stuff that people have different opinions about, which is why I think if you and your ped have different opinions about things that have no right or wrong answer, you should find someone you are more in line with.  FWIW, I don't think you will find very many peds who say you should be feeding more frequently than 6-8 hours at night at 9 months.

I hope this didn't come off too douchey.  I am sorry you were displeased with how the appointment went, but your little girl is adorable and she sounds perfectly healthy to me.

melly918

When my DS was 9 months, he would have a tablespoon of oatmeal mixed in BM for breakfast. Lunch and dinner consisted of one cube serving of pur?ed fruit or veg.  That's it.  The rest of the day he got milk via bottle or boob.  At this stage the goal is to get them used to eating solids but don't be too concerned with how much they are eating.  It sounds to me you are doing fine and if you are not happy with your pedi's approach, definitely find one that you are comfortable with.  

mork

Peanut2929:

FWIW, at 9 months DS was eating 3 solid meals a day and getting 5 formula bottles a day, 4-6 oz apiece.  We did drop down to 4 bottles a day at about 10 or 11 months because he wasn't seeming to be very interested in one of the bottles...once we dropped to 4 he was finishing all of them.  DS was also STTN at 9 months.  So your ped's advice does not sound off to me compared to what we were doing at 9 months, honestly.

That being said, if you're not comfortable with your ped, then you should get a new ped because nothing anyone else says will make you like your ped more.  The only thing that rubbed me the wrong way about what your ped said was the pulling up and cruising thing.  My DS wasn't crawling, pulling up or crusing at 9 months and I was freaking out.  My ped told me to call him if that was the case at closer to a year.  So that's the only part of the advice I gave the side eye too.

Not to be the the douchenozzle of this post but I don't think pediatricians are all about just telling you what you want to hear.  They are going to tell you what they believe is best for your child based on their medical training.  Will you disagree with it sometimes, probably.  Such is life.  I don't think any of the advice you were given is life or death advice; it's all stuff that people have different opinions about, which is why I think if you and your ped have different opinions about things that have no right or wrong answer, you should find someone you are more in line with.  FWIW, I don't think you will find very many peds who say you should be feeding more frequently than 6-8 hours at night at 9 months.

I hope this didn't come off too douchey.  I am sorry you were displeased with how the appointment went, but your little girl is adorable and she sounds perfectly healthy to me.

I agree with peanut on this one. The only comment from your ped that I disagree with is the cruising thing. DD is 7 months old and she already eats three solid meals a day, which I offer her first, and then milk. She usually eats some, then drinks some, then finishes eating, and then finishes drinking, and it's all based on her cues. She also sleeps 10 or 11 hours a night, with only rare wakes every other week or so. I do feed her a small bottle when she wakes, but it's usually been 8 hours since she last ate.  I don't agree that eating before 1yo is just for fun.  I think it's a gradual thing to move from BM or F to solid meals, and that gradual transition happens between 6 months and a year. Your ped's recommendations are right in line with that thinking. 

All of that being said, YOU are Mom here. You have to do what you feel is right, based on what you know, have read, and, yes, is medically indicated. If you don't feel your ped is a good fit, then you should look into another. If you don't feel these recommendations fit, then you should get another opinion. I don't think you should go as far as shopping around for a ped who will tell you what you want to hear, nor do I think you should lie to a ped, but you should consult one who better melds with you and your baby. Anyway, that just my opinion.  

adoxyinherear

mork:

Peanut2929:

FWIW, at 9 months DS was eating 3 solid meals a day and getting 5 formula bottles a day, 4-6 oz apiece.  We did drop down to 4 bottles a day at about 10 or 11 months because he wasn't seeming to be very interested in one of the bottles...once we dropped to 4 he was finishing all of them.  DS was also STTN at 9 months.  So your ped's advice does not sound off to me compared to what we were doing at 9 months, honestly.

That being said, if you're not comfortable with your ped, then you should get a new ped because nothing anyone else says will make you like your ped more.  The only thing that rubbed me the wrong way about what your ped said was the pulling up and cruising thing.  My DS wasn't crawling, pulling up or crusing at 9 months and I was freaking out.  My ped told me to call him if that was the case at closer to a year.  So that's the only part of the advice I gave the side eye too.

Not to be the the douchenozzle of this post but I don't think pediatricians are all about just telling you what you want to hear.  They are going to tell you what they believe is best for your child based on their medical training.  Will you disagree with it sometimes, probably.  Such is life.  I don't think any of the advice you were given is life or death advice; it's all stuff that people have different opinions about, which is why I think if you and your ped have different opinions about things that have no right or wrong answer, you should find someone you are more in line with.  FWIW, I don't think you will find very many peds who say you should be feeding more frequently than 6-8 hours at night at 9 months.

I hope this didn't come off too douchey.  I am sorry you were displeased with how the appointment went, but your little girl is adorable and she sounds perfectly healthy to me.

I agree with peanut on this one. The only comment from your ped that I disagree with is the cruising thing. DD is 7 months old and she already eats three solid meals a day, which I offer her first, and then milk. She usually eats some, then drinks some, then finishes eating, and then finishes drinking, and it's all based on her cues. She also sleeps 10 or 11 hours a night, with only rare wakes every other week or so. I do feed her a small bottle when she wakes, but it's usually been 8 hours since she last ate.  I don't agree that eating before 1yo is just for fun.  I think it's a gradual thing to move from BM or F to solid meals, and that gradual transition happens between 6 months and a year. Your ped's recommendations are right in line with that thinking. 

All of that being said, YOU are Mom here. You have to do what you feel is right, based on what you know, have read, and, yes, is medically indicated. If you don't feel your ped is a good fit, then you should look into another. If you don't feel these recommendations fit, then you should get another opinion. I don't think you should go as far as shopping around for a ped who will tell you what you want to hear, nor do I think you should lie to a ped, but you should consult one who better melds with you and your baby. Anyway, that just my opinion.  

I do not disagree with you! If there were cause for concern, I'd want my pediatrician to tell me about it. As I said to Peanut, I just don't feel like she is giving me any options. 

I feel like DD's night wakings are, at this point, probably habitual. She is hungry, but, yeah. She is also not a great nurser during the day, because she wants to be doing and doing and doing. We're reaching the point where I'm going to feel comfortable night weaning, I just haven't gotten there yet. 

adoxyinherear

Peanut2929:

FWIW, at 9 months DS was eating 3 solid meals a day and getting 5 formula bottles a day, 4-6 oz apiece.  We did drop down to 4 bottles a day at about 10 or 11 months because he wasn't seeming to be very interested in one of the bottles...once we dropped to 4 he was finishing all of them.  DS was also STTN at 9 months.  So your ped's advice does not sound off to me compared to what we were doing at 9 months, honestly.

That being said, if you're not comfortable with your ped, then you should get a new ped because nothing anyone else says will make you like your ped more.  The only thing that rubbed me the wrong way about what your ped said was the pulling up and cruising thing.  My DS wasn't crawling, pulling up or crusing at 9 months and I was freaking out.  My ped told me to call him if that was the case at closer to a year.  So that's the only part of the advice I gave the side eye too.

Not to be the the douchenozzle of this post but I don't think pediatricians are all about just telling you what you want to hear.  They are going to tell you what they believe is best for your child based on their medical training.  Will you disagree with it sometimes, probably.  Such is life.  I don't think any of the advice you were given is life or death advice; it's all stuff that people have different opinions about, which is why I think if you and your ped have different opinions about things that have no right or wrong answer, you should find someone you are more in line with.  FWIW, I don't think you will find very many peds who say you should be feeding more frequently than 6-8 hours at night at 9 months.

I hope this didn't come off too douchey.  I am sorry you were displeased with how the appointment went, but your little girl is adorable and she sounds perfectly healthy to me.

You are totally not douchey! I think just reading everyone's experiences here shows how all over the map our babies are, and I guess that was what got me so worked up. I don't feel like I'm getting any wiggle room from the pediatrician for DD to go at her own pace. It would be one thing if she were lagging behind, or if her words to me had been just to keep on eye on this. The way she said it was pretty much, I want her doing this, yesterday. And that was what really got me. 

I also get crazy about the food thing... I offer her solids all the time, but if she doesn't take them, I don't know what to do about that. I don't want to force feed her, and I don't want to limit her nursing because I know it's still good for her. Le sigh. Thank you for sharing, seriously.

 

spincat9

Trust your maternal instincts...it sounds like a lot of wonky advice to me (although admittedly I am not a pediatrician.). 

charmedgrl517

Ahh I felt the same way at DDs 6 month check up so I totally understand and don't blame you at all for wanting a new PED!!! I'm seeing how her 9 month apt goes next week to see if I'm switching or not. HUGS Miss E is adorable and doing great!

ct103

My only advice is get a new pedi! I have no experience with a 9 month old, but I can tell that doctor is full of crap. And how dare she make you feel guilty!

jertie

I agree with pp - the pedi is full 'o crap.  It sounds like the doc has his/her own agenda on how children should be raised.  Every kid is different and when it comes to pulling-up/cruising these are just general guidelines - and to force kids before they're ready is just stupid.  I think that you're totally right - go with your gut and follow DD's cues - just like you're doing.  Hope you find an awesome new pedi!

Shaungela

Your ped could say what they want till they are blue in the face... it doesnt mean the kids are going to do it... you cant force her to eat 3 solid meals and obviously if youre trying more than once you already know that shes not ready for that... this is definitely a trust your instincts moment... thats lots of demands for a 9 month old.. 

 

 

mundayem

My son is almost 17 months old and he has never STTN, ever. He also was not eating 3 solid meals a day at 9 months, 1 was more like it. He really wasn't all that interested in solids until that age.

Every baby is different and you have to go with your instincts. Doctors are still human and don't know everything. D was an early walker but plenty of babies don't cruise at 9 months. My pedi is pretty laid back about parenting style, as long as D is happy and healthy and I don't have any concerns he is happy. A pedi isn't there to give you parenting advice and that's what a lot of that sounds like, not medical advice.

awesnap

dotmbc:

If she were my pedi, I would be concerned if these items were brought up as directives or instructions instead of suggestions or guidelines. They don't seem out of line with 'normal', but that doesn't mean every kid is going to progress on her strict agenda. Every kid is different and your pedi shouldn't be getting you worked up over developmental milestones unless something needs to be done about them. Hope you are able to find someone more supportive.

very well put. I agree 100%.  

Ziegeficker

andrea ri 80:

I don't take lifestyle advice from my pediatrician, I just want them when my kids are sick. 

When topics like "where does so and so sleep?", "you can do CIO now", "you can do solids now",  "Does Wes still take a bottle now" come up, I just basically tell her what she wants to hear.

I love this, because when it comes down to it, I think this kind of advice from a doctor is really not terribly different from advice from any other average parent. But we tend to forget that and lend more legitimacy to what they say because they are doctors. Every baby is different. Do what feels right for you. At the end of the day, it's you -- not your pediatrician -- who has to live with those choices.