So torn on whether to TTC or wait... never...

rlyttle

DS and I decided that we would TTC later this month. Well the time is here and I just don't know if I'm ready. I know I would love another LO so much, but I'm a very busy momma!! I have DS, DH, work FT, house, yard, no family less than 2 hours away, dog, cat, busy busy busy!! I just get worried about how much time I will have to give up and how my days will look. Run one kid here, the other there, run run run. I know people do it all the time, but I just don't know if I want to do it. I really don't want DS to be an only child, I'm not getting any younger (32 this year), and my whole life I've wanted 2 kids. Please tell me that I'm over thinking all of this!! DH is fine with whatever I want, but he would like to have another kid at some point. 

BelhurstBride

I was in the exact same place as you... but more and more concretely leading toward one and done. Things seemed to easy and worked for us and I really, really didn't want to deal with an infant again. 

DH was less decisive and wouldn't agree to getting snipped quite yet.

This LO was a surprise, and we're okay with it. We both admit it's not a decision we would have actually made. DH also now admits he was leaning more toward the one and done camp, too.

I can't yet say what life is like with two, but I do understand what you're feeling.  

MrsWindyCity

Let me preface this by saying that I haven't returned to work yet, and that's when I really worry about being a mom to 2. But, I was in your same position, even the same age, and truth be told I freaked when I found out I was pregnant (even though it was planned). Our closest family is DH's and is also 2 hours away (mine is 6). 

The biggest difference is that we're basically always busy. It used to be that one person could take a break while the other watched DS (not to mention DS1 is at a good age where he is pretty independent, etc.) but now we basically each have a kid. I know that getting dinners on the table, nursing DS2 and doing two bedtimes a night will be rough with working, but it will just have to be our new normal. I think you need to just do the best you can, know that it will be tough for the first few months, and then it will be great once things get a little more routine and easy. DS1 is GREAT around the baby, and although it will be a while before they play together, I love seeing the two of them. And I feel like the temporary craziness will be outweighed by giving DS a sibling. 

I will say if you think you want another, have one now because when your DS hits 3, which IMO are much worse than 2, you may rethink it, lol. 

cpmich

Honestly, if you don't feel ready, then wait. Take another month or several. It is okay to breathe and just enjoy the child you have.

logoz80

You may be overthinking it. We have no family less than 2 hours away either, which is hard. I have a 2 year old and decided to stay home. Things will change and you need to think if you can handle it. Things will not be as smooth as they may be now. I'd definitely do it before 35 if you decide to do it. We didn't want ours too far apart either, so they will be 2 1/2 years apart. 

Soap1

I'm in a similar position only we are beginning to TTC#3.  This was our first month of trying, and I'm in the 2WW.  I'm actually a bit terrified that it worked this month.

My advice (and take it with a grain of salt) is to just go for it!  Two kids is hard, but so is one kid, and three kids will be too.   

kwright3

I am in the same boat. Our first is 2.5 right now and life is pretty good. I work full-time and still am scarred from the experience of trying to breastfeed, working full-time on a few hours of sleep and dealing with having an infant that I only got to see a few hours a day. I worry how it will impact my career and marriage, if we can afford two daycares, and if I'll even have enough energy for my current child. This is by far the hardest decision I've ever had to make, as it impacts the rest of my life and my family's life. 

I try to put it in perspective and think about how happy I am right now with her and how in two short years, life will be back to normal. Infancy will be past and she will have a playmate, hopefully allowing me to get a break from being her constant form of entertainment. I try to think about the holidays and how much more rich it will be for her to have a sibling to share in the excitement. I think about seeing her holding her baby brother/sister and teaching her to love and protect them. I think about the excitement of a child with a different personality and just a new experience.

 Ultimately, I think life would be immensely easier with just one. More money, less stress and more energy to devote to the one. So, yes, it leaves me completely confused on what the best route is. I'm just taking it day by day until it feels more certain. 

grlmom16

I read once it's easier to decide to have a second child than to decide not to!