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Parenting
Time outs
Yesterday I decided I needed to start doing time-outs with Oliver. I probably should have started this before now, but anywho. He just hasn't been listening very well and just does what he wants a lot of the time despite the fact he knows what's expected. You know, like most people his age. Well, day one equaled 4 time-outs. The first one was in the morning not long after we woke up. I was in his room with him, he was playing and he dumped all his puzzles out. Well, on Saturday morning he did the same thing. So I had already fussed at him 24 hours earlier about the same exact thing. I told him he'd have to do a time out at that point. He does times outs at his sitter's, so it's not a new thing for him. It took me about half a hour to get him to sit in the "time-out" chair for 2 minutes.
It got better as the day went on. By the end of the day when he got a time-out for not staying in the bed at bed time he didn't hesitate. He sat down and did his 2 minutes without getting up once. Yay.
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Re: Time outs
I'm using the timer on my iPhone, so it does go off and he knows when he can get up.
It did get better for us with DS 4 over time. We use the timer for a number of things. I believe we started about the same time as you. Sometimes DS tells me he needs to go in timeout. ha! I plan on starting lil bit earlier with DD. GL!
I'm cracking up about your DS telling you he needs a time out. I can already see it working. A few times yesterday I just had to warn him that he would get a time out if he did "it" again and he stopped.
I'm not sure why I'm answering an AE, but YES! He is not allowed to just dump all of his puzzles on the floor and make a huge mess for someone to clean.
Um, I'm not an AE. And that seems like a stringent household. Why not have him clean them up so he has the freedom to play and make messes like kids do, as long as helps you clean it all up? Just saying.
I don't care if he makes a mess when he's playing, but I do care if he dumps toys out for the sole purpose of making a mess. He didn't dump the puzzles out to play with them he dumped them out because he thinks it's funny.
Sorry for the assumption that you're an AE.
Did you make him clean up after the time out? I'm with PPs, I would make him clean it up and I do hand over hand cleaning if he won't help natural consequences and what not.
Also, whenever you start a new behavioral plan for toddlers, it get worse before it gets better. Be consistent and it will get better!
I guess we all have different rules. And one of mine is don't dump toys (or anything) out just for the h'ell of it. Five people live in my house. Imagine what life would be like if we all just dumped stuff all over the floor because we thought it was funny.
And we cleaned the puzzles up together after his time out.
Thank you for this. I've been having the crappiest day and this just made me laugh out loud! It's a great visual.
Same here. If I gave my son time-outs just for making a mess, he'd be in time-out 7x a day at least. lol He's responsible for cleaning up all of his toys so it's when he refuses to clean that he gets a time-out. I don't like when he dumps all his cars out and I'm sure it'll only get worse when he gets into Legos that I will inevitably step on but as long as he picks them up when he's done with them it's okay.
He also has to clean up each activity before he can move on to the next, which helps cut down on having an epic mess at the end of the day.
You wouldn't all just dump things out because you aren't children.
What other things constitute timeouts for you?
So, what is an appropriate age to teach him the rules I want him to follow? Should I wait until he's 5 or 6 when these things are terrible habits? Let me know. If he couldn't understand that this is something I don't want him to do I would not punish him. He is well aware d
Eta: on mobile wasn't done. He is well aware that I don't want him to do this does it to get a reaction. Disobeying a parent discipline.
Eta: I'm not used to mobile. The last part is disobeying a parent equals discipline. Apparently the equal sign doesn't work on mobile.
I think we can probably agree that there are many natural toddler behaviors that are not desired behaviors. And we have to teach them which behaviors are not desired. A natural toddler behavior is to throw food at meal time. I'm pretty certain most parent correct that behavior in some way. I don't desire for my toddler to dump all his toys out. I want him to take out what he wants to play with and leave the rest in the container it belongs in. I don't even mind if he wants to play with several things at one time, but I just don't want him to dump stuff out for s'hits and giggles.
I hope to be silly and playful. My first thought is to join him in making a mess and then play dumb about how to put it away so he gets to feel like he has value when he shows you how to do it. You will both have fun playing and he will put the puzzles away.
I think that kids can and will win power struggles so I want to avoid them. He might do the time out but then the next time he wants your attention he will just break another rule. Better to start a playful cooperative method than a punitive one in my opinion.
Well, I said he does it to get a reaction not attention. He lives with his parents and two teenage siblings. I can assure you he isn't lacking attention. No worries. I'll go ahead and rely on my almost 15 years of parenting knowledge and wish you luck for the future when you're actually dealing with a toddler.
Well I've been under the impression that when kids try to get a reaction that it is because the want attention but don't know how to ask for it. As the youngest of three myself I can assure you a full house does not equal attention.
I am really looking forward to the whole parenting journey ahead. Forgive me for back seat parenting but I see lots of friends and colleagues parent... Some make it look easy and fun others are constantly fighting and struggling. I hope I can make the choices and gain the skills to make it fun.