Not enough bonding time

Jam33

My little guy is a week old and I've tried SUPER hard to breastfeed, but it's no good. I'm pumping what I can, and we're bottlefeeding him the breast milk I get and supplementing with formula, but I feel like I'm missing out on the bonding experience that comes with breastfeeding. Also, I usually have a million things to do during the day because along with working full time, I'm in charge of scheduling my son's appointments and taking care of the house. My husband has the baby WAY more during the day when he's awake and I only get to hold him when I'm feeding him, when he's asleep, or at night when we're supposed to keep things boring to get him to learn that nighttime is for sleeping. When he hears my husband's voice, he goes crazy trying to find him, but he won't even focus on me when I talk to him. I'm worried that he's not bonding with me as much as he should be, but I don't know how to fix it.

doremi29

Do whatever you need with regards to bf/ff and remember that the housework can wait.  Can your DH help with the house to give you more time with the baby?

ETA: wait am I reading it correctly that you are back to work full time 1 week post partum?

VPGIRL06

At a week he doesn't really recognize anyone's voice. You are fine and your son will bond with you. I would pump more because everytime you supplement with formula yor telling your body it doesn't need it. At this point you should be pumping 10 to 12 times a day for 20 minutes since that's as often a baby would nurse

Jam33

I pump every two hours during the day, and every four hours at night. I'm also taking Domperidone to get my milk supply up because I'm not able to make enough on my own. It's slowly working, but he also won't latch on to me. I'm hoping that once my supply is established, I can use a nipple shield and we'll be all set.

My husband helps out TONS with the house, but he still leaves a lot of it up to me. And I had to go back to work unfortunately because my husband's boss decided to lay him off in March even though he knew we had a baby on the way and we can't pay our bills without one of us working. I gave him my maternity leave so he'd be getting an income even though he's unemployed, and with my paycheck we're just able to pay the bills and have a very little bit left over for a rainy day.

ClandestineX

I am sorry for your situation, it does suck when your husband's job acts like an as$. I hope that everything works out for you.

As for your original post, no matter what you will be that child's mother and you will have the rest of your life to bond. Right now it may be short time for you, but your child knows your smell and knows it is you near them.

pinottoparenthood

I understand why you're disappointed about the breastfeeding, but it sounds like you are still the one feeding him, so that's still a bonding opportunity! Honestly, one week olds can't focus yet, so don't take it personally that he's not doing that. Our one month old is JUST starting to be able to focus on our faces sometimes. And a one-week old sleeps almost all the time. When they are awake, they're usually eating. I wouldn't worry too much... as baby gets bigger, you'll have more opportunities to interact, but a one-week old just really isn't that interactive period.

ClandestineX

Also, men's voices are deeper and attract their attention more anyways... My son who spends a majority of the time with me will still turn to my husband and stop crying instantly the moment he talks.

jensriot

ClandestineX:

Also, men's voices are deeper and attract their attention more anyways... My son who spends a majority of the time with me will still turn to my husband and stop crying instantly the moment he talks.

This...with DH, my Dad, FIL too. Their deep voices must be soothing.