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Blended Families
twister22
member
Blondii
twister22
member
I know we don't know your whole story. I don't think anyone on here knows another poster's WHOLE story. We only know what we're told (obviously.)
Like you said, it's the internet, so people don't hold back on other internet strangers. While that may bother you, it does mean you're getting the truth. People aren't your 'friends,' so they're not afraid to offend you. They give you real perspective, not rainbows and sunshine.
Typically, when you think one way, and you've got twelve people telling you your wrong, odds are you're not 100% right.
When people are giving you advice or explaining how they see things, try to take it to heart. Evaluate what they're saying instead of going "Ohmygawsh, they don't know ma story! They're judging me! They're a bunch of angry, rude b!tches!"
When I first came to this board my BF situation was completely different. These ladies made me toughen up, and gave great perspective. There are some issues on here where people are pretty split on their opinion (i.e. whether or not a SP should be allowed to be called "mom" or "dad) and other issues where 90+% of the people are in agreement on what the right thing is. When the vast majority of the people are saying one thing, usually, it's because that's the right thing.
No one's saying your DH is a bad dad. They're saying that he should have stepped up more. He's not perfect. He can't change the choices he made in the past, but he certainly can change the choices he makes going forward.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Blondii
NEver mind. I got it. I just chose not to engage that one. My headache from the last wall banging post has not quite resided yet.
It appears Holly has deleted her most recent posts on this board... Wow.
What's her home board? I'm bored and nosy.
I noticed this too. I wish our site would not delete whole threads like that. It keeps us honest....
ON the plus side, she might not be back.
I wanna know too! She's a special kind of crazy. She doesn't count on the fact that we remember all her history...
I spent the day defending him instead of getting a better insight on the situation. After I wrote that post, a whole new can of worms opened up. Turns out the mother is more insane and has more problems than I thought, and social services has gotten involved. Since Friday she now lives with us full time and he has gotten a lawyer to get full custody. Thanks for the eye opener, I never realized how supportive my main board was. I will just stick to there.
It's not our job to be supportive. Even if you had asked just for support, which you didn't. You asked for advice on how to get custody. Several posters pointed out some facts about what you presented in your backstory that might prove to be an issue for YH trying to get custody.
We don't know you or YH. We are not emotionally invested as you are. We aren't on your side--and more importantly, we're not on anyone else's side either.
Exactly. I love my H - I think he's a great partner and an amazing father, and I couldn't be happier to be married to him. I think I'm generally a very supportive wife. But, that doesn't mean I turn a blind eye to his imperfections. Neither of us is perfect, and one thing DH and I do in our marriage is make each other better people. When someone points out a flaw in me or DH, does it bother me? Yes, of course, as I wish we didn't have those flaws. But, also, I take it to heart and use it to make us better people.
Holy sh!t. I love all the super-supportive up her @ss mom's at the beginning of the thread. Holly is crazy. Poor kids.
Eek. I guess she's an equal opportunity crazy, not just w her sd.