Sister in law- pissed me off! Breastfeeding..

Cdienst

So Im still breastfeeding my 9 month old, she may have one or two bottles of formula a day but mostly its just me. I was telling my sister in law about a woman I met who had been breastfeeding for 17 months,

Her- "What?! Thats so creepy."

Me- "What? Creepy?"

Her- "I think breastfeeding for a year or longer is super creepy."

Me- "How do you even say that to me? Ive been feeding her for 9 months with no end in sight!"

Her- "Ya but your weaning her arent you?"

Me- "No." In my mind I said, "No, ***.Thanks for the support."  This is coming from the girl who didn't even spend mothers day with her 4 year old, works full-time and works out after work so she basically spends NO time with him. Some moms are just so different. 

I should add that I am a working mom too!!! I work two days a week gone for over 13 hours on those days (nurse) but I work because we need the money. I do NOT judge working moms for working. I DO judge my SIL for never spending time with my nephew while she criticizes me for the bond I have with my baby. She hardly sees him and I just cant understand it!! Some women were not meant to be mothers and she is one of them.  

Gismo123

Ya I get comments like that all the time. DS is almost a year and still has boobie time 6 to 8 times a day. Even my DH says "You are weaning him at a year right?" I told him that when my son wants to stop is when we'll stop. I have given him MANY links on the benefits of extended bfing.

Also I think it's weird that people think milk meant for a calf is somehow better than milk actually made for human babies....when DS does wean he will be switched to Almond milk.

eclipselova4eva

I just got a comment like that from my mom this morning. She tells me I should look forward to August so I can eat dairy again. (DD has an extreme sensitivity to dairy among other things). I said why, we don't know she will grow out of it by then. She says, oh she will be a year and you will be done nursing. I tell her that is news to me. Then she says, oh are you going to do that comfort thing. I'm like uh....what? I plan on nursing until she and I both ready to be done. Then she proceeds to tell me about a conversation her and her co-worker had about a 2.5 year old nursing and how wrong that is. Thank you mother for your indirect opinion on my nursing relationship with my daughter.

Zip the lips people!!

anonsouthernbell

WHO recommendation is to nurse for a minimum of 2 years...

MooOink

Gismo123:

Ya I get comments like that all the time. DS is almost a year and still has boobie time 6 to 8 times a day. Even my DH says "You are weaning him at a year right?" I told him that when my son wants to stop is when we'll stop. I have given him MANY links on the benefits of extended bfing.

Also I think it's weird that people think milk meant for a calf is somehow better than milk actually made for human babies....when DS does wean he will be switched to Almond milk.

Same with us for almond milk. I plan to use my frozen stash of BM once he is weaned so he's still getting the benefits of BM.

khill86

Do they know natural weaning is from 2 to 7 years?

There are breastfeeding moms nursing 5 year olds out there!

I'm determined to BF DS until he weans naturally. Luckily MIL nursed SIL until she was 2 and DH's aunt nursed her daughter until 3 [both girls are only 11 and 15 now, so it's in fairly recent memory for everyone], so it's everyone is super supportive for us to nurse as long as we want.

I do have a friend, though, that is always making comments like, "just promise me your not going to nurse him when he's gone to school" and asking if we're weaning soon. There's definitely a group of people that we are "quiet" about nursing around.

ASmallWonder

You need to take a step back and take a long hard look in the mirror.  Your SIL judged breast feeding past one, which was wrong of her but isn't literally a judgement on you since you aren't even IN that situation.  She judged a concept. You, on the other hand, judged her on working, how she chose to spend her mother's day, her choice to be healthy and the amount of time she spends with her child.  How can you say to her "How do you even say that to me?" when you have no issue judging the hell out of her?

alizabethanne

Whoops... I was about to go back to work full time in a few weeks AND join a crossfit gym to get in some excercise after work....now I know better.

Everyone has differing opinions on everything. Stop taking it personally and just do what you want to do. And let your SIL do the same. 

Gismo123

jfresh:

theresat858:

Wow, I love the judgement of working moms in this post.

Awesome.

(And yes, I still BF my 1 year old... your SIL is lame, but you're rather judgmental yourself, aren't you?)

Yeah I eye rolled at that too. I hope I don't get judged if I ever have to go to the doctor or grocery after work. 

Sadly many people think BF is creepy, I've learned to ignore them. As someone else pointed out in this post WHO recommends it past one year, so if anyone says anything I bring that up. But I don't let them get to me.

Girls please do a simple little research before you start implying that people are just making up stuff. The World Health organization recommends bfing for at least 2 years of age or beyond.

Gismo123

https://kellymom.com/ages/olderinfant/ebfbenefits/

Also kelly mom gives great info on extended bfing.

blueonblack

Cdienst:

So Im still breastfeeding my 9 month old, she may have one or two bottles of formula a day but mostly its just me. I was telling my sister in law about a woman I met who had been breastfeeding for 17 months,

Her- "What?! Thats so creepy."

Me- "What? Creepy?"

Her- "I think breastfeeding for a year or longer is super creepy."

Me- "How do you even say that to me? Ive been feeding her for 9 months with no end in sight!"

Her- "Ya but your weaning her arent you?"

Me- "No." In my mind I said, "No, ***.Thanks for the support."  This is coming from the girl who didn't even spend mothers day with her 4 year old, works full-time and works out after work so she basically spends NO time with him. Some moms are just so different. 

 

What a terrible mother, earning money for her family and taking care of her health like that.  Good thing you aren't judgmental like her.

flkong

blueonblack:

Cdienst:

So Im still breastfeeding my 9 month old, she may have one or two bottles of formula a day but mostly its just me. I was telling my sister in law about a woman I met who had been breastfeeding for 17 months,

Her- "What?! Thats so creepy."

Me- "What? Creepy?"

Her- "I think breastfeeding for a year or longer is super creepy."

Me- "How do you even say that to me? Ive been feeding her for 9 months with no end in sight!"

Her- "Ya but your weaning her arent you?"

Me- "No." In my mind I said, "No, ***.Thanks for the support."  This is coming from the girl who didn't even spend mothers day with her 4 year old, works full-time and works out after work so she basically spends NO time with him. Some moms are just so different. 

 

What a terrible mother, earning money for her family and taking care of her health like that.  Good thing you aren't judgmental like her.

This! Lol, I still fine these call outs surprising and funny but OP, they are all right! You are the pot calling the kettle black. I'll be going back to work full time and I'll go to a gym.  I spent mother's day with my mom, grandmom, aunts & 3 cousins. None of our kids were there.... I guess my parenting sucks too

eclipselova4eva

fklang:

blueonblack:

Cdienst:

So Im still breastfeeding my 9 month old, she may have one or two bottles of formula a day but mostly its just me. I was telling my sister in law about a woman I met who had been breastfeeding for 17 months,

Her- "What?! Thats so creepy."

Me- "What? Creepy?"

Her- "I think breastfeeding for a year or longer is super creepy."

Me- "How do you even say that to me? Ive been feeding her for 9 months with no end in sight!"

Her- "Ya but your weaning her arent you?"

Me- "No." In my mind I said, "No, ***.Thanks for the support."  This is coming from the girl who didn't even spend mothers day with her 4 year old, works full-time and works out after work so she basically spends NO time with him. Some moms are just so different. 

 

What a terrible mother, earning money for her family and taking care of her health like that.  Good thing you aren't judgmental like her.

This! Lol, I still fine these call outs surprising and funny but OP, they are all right! You are the pot calling the kettle black. I'll be going back to work full time and I'll go to a gym.  I spent mother's day with my mom, grandmom, aunts & 3 cousins. None of our kids were there.... I guess my parenting sucks too

 

I get working and taking care of your health, but IMO, I would rather spend as much time as I can with my kids. I didn't have children so I could be away from them.

Cdienst

Oh no! I hate that you thought that, I should have clarified that she is not a working mom in the sense that she needs to work to support her family, she is a working mom to get away from her family. My brother (her husband) makes plenty enough to provide a great life of all of them but she is a partier. 

Cdienst

I should add that I am a working mom too!!! I work two days a week gone for over 13 hours on those days (nurse) but I work because we need the money. I do NOT judge working moms for working. I DO judge my SIL for never spending time with my nephew while she criticizes me for the bond I have with my baby. She hardly sees him and I just cant understand it!! Some women were not meant to be mothers and she is one of them. 

Crispity

Cdienst:

I should add that I am a working mom too!!! I work two days a week gone for over 13 hours on those days (nurse) but I work because we need the money. I do NOT judge working moms for working. I DO judge my SIL for never spending time with my nephew while she criticizes me for the bond I have with my baby. She hardly sees him and I just cant understand it!! Some women were not meant to be mothers and she is one of them. 

So it's ok for moms to work, but only if they work because they NEED the money. Moms who work when their partners make enough so that they could stay home are bad moms. Moms who work when they could stay home and then also have the nerve to spend even an extra second away from their children to do anything for themselves might as well not have even had kids. But, you're not judgmental at all. 

Cdienst

Yes, I do think that moms like her who work 65 hours a week then choose to not even go home to see their children before they go to sleep are bad mothers. I think that you shouldn't have children if you dont want to be the ones to raise them. Your judging me for thinking that way, Im judging her for thinking that way. So what? I am just as entitled to my opinion as you are. I would NEVER want anyone else to spend more time with my baby than me. 

Cdienst

Wow. Its people like you that go after moms on here for anything they say that drive me mad. Some people are always going to have different opinions from mine. That doesnt mean Im wrong or your wrong. I go on these boards for support so if thats not what your going to give, then please don't post on my posts. There are so many times when moms are getting all these harsh comments when all they are looking for is to vent/get support. My post was about my SIL making a poor comment to me and how it pissed me off, not a debate about how moms OR DADS should want to be the ones who take care of their kids. Look at what you said to me, "So the mother is required to stay home to raise the baby? Why isn't the dad a bad father for working?" He's not, neither is a mom a bad mom for working. I SAID FOR THE LAST TIME- my SIL (NOT ALL MOMS) is a bad mom IMHO for not spending more time with her son. 

ttimmerman

Good grief, some of you are just looking for a fight. Any parent who spends 65+ hours a week gone during the day, and then spends a significant amount of time at the gym in the evening, is not spending enough time with their kid. Bottom line. I don't care if you're working, if you're the mom or dad, if you SAH but volunteer...whatever. Making time for your kid is more of a priority, in my opinion, than making time for yourself. If that makes me a sanctimommy, then sign me up.

Cdienst

Thank you, Exactly! !!

mnb311

Cdienst:

Yes, I do think that moms like her who work 65 hours a week then choose to not even go home to see their children before they go to sleep are bad mothers. I think that you shouldn't have children if you dont want to be the ones to raise them. Your judging me for thinking that way, Im judging her for thinking that way. So what? I am just as entitled to my opinion as you are. I would NEVER want anyone else to spend more time with my baby than me. 

 

I totally agree with you OP!

And, its easy to say we don't judge eachother.  But we ALL do it, whether you realize it or not

erbear

Cdienst:

Oh no! I hate that you thought that, I should have clarified that she is not a working mom in the sense that she needs to work to support her family, she is a working mom to get away from her family. My brother (her husband) makes plenty enough to provide a great life of all of them but she is a partier. 

This is not helping your case. You're still judging her for being a working mom. Guess what? I work full time and go to the gym, because I want to. And I'm an awesome mom. 

erbear

Cdienst:

Yes, I do think that moms like her who work 65 hours a week then choose to not even go home to see their children before they go to sleep are bad mothers. I think that you shouldn't have children if you dont want to be the ones to raise them. Your judging me for thinking that way, Im judging her for thinking that way. So what? I am just as entitled to my opinion as you are. I would NEVER want anyone else to spend more time with my baby than me. 

But this whole post is about your being mad because she's judging you. Irony.

Also, think about that last statement long and hard...am I raising my students since I spend way more time with them than their parents? 

NewStepMom2ndBride

ttimmerman:

Good grief, some of you are just looking for a fight. Any parent who spends 65+ hours a week gone during the day, and then spends a significant amount of time at the gym in the evening, is not spending enough time with their kid. Bottom line. I don't care if you're working, if you're the mom or dad, if you SAH but volunteer...whatever. Making time for your kid is more of a priority, in my opinion, than making time for yourself. If that makes me a sanctimommy, then sign me up.

this. We sometimes go too far in the other direction of not judging that we condone people's crappy parenting. This is crappy parenting. 

NewStepMom2ndBride

Although she should be able to work full time if she wants to, needed or not. I would work if I could (I have a disability) but I'd also rush home each night to my kids before they went to sleep. I'd get a treadmill and weights and use them after they went to sleep.