Never been more confused!

nicolewhelan

Somewhat new here...and have been stressing out for the last 5 or 6 months about when to start trying. We got married last July. I start to panic that I'm not ready and that I can't do it, but everyone assures me how great of a mom I'm going to be. I'm definitely not taking the decision lightly. But I'll be 33 in November so I know I need to get the move on.

My biggest dilema is my husband is unable to find work still. We really can't afford to have a child right now and me being a money freak just don't think it's a smart decision to go off the pill. My husband is being incredibly patient with me, especially when I have a massive meltdown in the kitchen sobbing over it (oh how embarassing! LOL!) but I would love some advice. It's like I feel like I need to just suck it up and come off the pill, but what if I get pregnant right away...and my husband still can't find a job in 9 months. Ugh!! Open to your advice, and thank you for just letting me vent for a sec

J+MS

You will hear many people tell you there is no perfect time to have a kid, but having stable finances is definitely one of the more important things to think about. 

[Deleted User]

J+MS:

You will hear many people tell you there is no perfect time to have a kid, but having stable finances is definitely one of the more important things to think about. 

this ^^ 

jjgrl55

I agree with PP that waiting for a steady financial situation is the most important thing before TTC. At the same time, you can be in the process of TTC without actually having unprotected sex. Start researching charting and temping. Get the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility. Consider getting on a non-hormonal form of birth control (but one you can still use without error!) so you can start charting your cycles and pinpointing when you ovulate. Also consider taking a prenatal vitamin and begin exercising to deal with any possible weight issues or just to get in a healthier place. The more you do before you start having unprotected sex, the easier TTC will be (I really wish I had done this stuff before going off BC). Hopefully preparing like this will make you feel like you aren't wasting your time waiting, but are proactively moving toward a healthy pregnancy and will take that nagging "ticking clock" feeling away.

sunlavender

Deciding to start a family is a very personal decision.  Only you and your husband can decide when is the right time.  Best of luck.

ASmallWonder

It's true that there's never a PERFECT time to have a baby but there are most definitely better times than others.  A time when one person doesn't haven't a job, and it's a job you NEED in order to afford the baby, well, that's not the right time.  Crazy stressful things happen to people with kids all the time but it's not something you want to knowingly enter into.  Kids are expensive and stressful and you don't want to add financial issues that are clearly already present.  I hope things turn around for your DH but you're right to wait until that time, IMO.

nicolewhelan

Thanks so much for the reassurance. My gut tells me we should hold off (not to mention the added stress of actually becoming a parent) and seems like everyone here agrees. I'm a very budget conscious person too. Oh well...guess I'm off to the pharmacy to pick up another pack of birth control:) And some prenatals!

Clarinet35

jjgrl55:

I agree with PP that waiting for a steady financial situation is the most important thing before TTC. At the same time, you can be in the process of TTC without actually having unprotected sex. Start researching charting and temping. Get the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility. Consider getting on a nonhormonal form of birth control but one you can still use without error! so you can start charting your cycles and pinpointing when you ovulate. Also consider taking a prenatal vitamin and begin exercising to deal with any possible weight issues or just to get in a healthier place. The more you do before you start having unprotected sex, the easier TTC will be I really wish I had done this stuff before going off BC. Hopefully preparing like this will make you feel like you aren't wasting your time waiting, but are proactively moving toward a healthy pregnancy and will take that nagging "ticking clock" feeling away.

All of this. Great advice!