My story

elmosoreo

What is a stretch mark? We all see the posts from women on blogs and community boards that talk of their well-earned scars that they are so proud of. A mark for every breath that your child makes, every movement, every development. Your war stripes. Battle scars. Badges of honor.
I?ll be honest that while I was pregnant I repeated these things. People asked if I was worried about stretch marks and I spouted off about how it didn?t matter to me. I told people that any mark on me wouldn?t matter; all that mattered was having my little bundle of joy. Even though I told people I didn?t mind I still did a little dance when I hit 39 weeks and didn?t have any visible marks scarring my body.
I wouldn?t have predicted that 4 days later when I was recovering from an emergency C-section I would walk to my little bathroom, remove my belly binder?and freeze. It was the first time I had seen myself since my son was born. I was no longer round like a basketball, not lopsided from him lying at a weird angle, and no foot extended to be photographed. I was striped and hideous.
No one warns you about feeling ugly after having a child. Pregnancy is about the ?glow?, the beauty of growing a child. Who would want to ruin that by telling you that you will have marks across your stomach? Or even go as far to tell you that the marks don?t stop there? Your hips will have marks, your bottom will have marks, and your boobs will look like you?ve been skin graphed they look so different.
While my marks are a vivid reminder of having my sweet boy I wish they weren?t there. Do you think less of me for admitting it? I wish that my body was unscarred, and beautiful. Every day I struggle to feel beautiful again like I did at my maternity shoot, or any other photo shoot I?ve had. While I battle with myself internally to get past this mountain I realize I can?t be alone. Surely there is someone else having trouble as well.
Now I realize I sound like a depressed mother. Battling my own set of baby blues. I try and find the beauty in myself, and I fail a lot and cover myself up. While this battle seems lost, I go and pick up my cooing baby boy. I have found the beauty in myself through the eyes of my son. I look into his big eyes and see his precious innocence looking back at me.
I tell this sappy tale of a woman struggling with her self-image, not to discourage people from children, or make someone scared of their birth marks. I tell it so someone will feel encouraged. I am a mother, and I am unhappy with my stretch marks. But, I am a mother to the most beautiful and precious angel in the world. Don?t feel discouraged by feeling differently than others, and don?t feel bad if you aren?t happy 24/7. I am a 3 month old victim of this ?disease? and promise that I?m overcoming it little by little, and so will you. Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}

homebird

Can I ask what your point is? Are you saying you're depressed? Like, actual depression over your  postpartum body? If so, you need to seek out help. Otherwise, I don't know why you're posting on this board.

silvie25mar

I see your point. I was and am in the exact same position. I too went though my entire pregnancy with no stretch marks and like you, looked at my post baby post csection self and there I was, stretch marks and all. I too am struggling with self image and confidence post baby. And although that child is absolutely everything for me and worth everything I went through it still doesn't make the superficial things better.