Infertility Veterans
Options

Seriously???!!!

Ok, this is a total vent, but I just really need to let this out right now. So, I just went to check the mail, and I saw a card with my aunt's writing on it. I couldn't figure out why in the world she would be sending me a card (not my b-day, anniversary or holiday), and I open the envelope and see HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! Yep, in big bold uppercase letters. Then she wrote aunt, aunt, aunt all over it, and on the inside, she wrote me a note about being a great aunt. Ummm....WTF?!!!!! I could maybe understand if she was feeling sorry for me and sent me a "thinking of you" or "just because" kind of card, or even a blank card with a note. but a Happy Mother's Day card?! Why would you send anyone a Mother's Day card that wasn't a mother anyway? I am seriously speechless and in a total rage right now. I found this to be completely offensive and insensitive. Maybe I am overreacting and need to just take a deep breath, but It feels like a stab through the heart and pouring salt into the wound. I am VERY aware I am not a mother, but thanks for rubbing it in my face with the card!!! She does not know specifics about fertility treatments we are going through but knows we are obviously struggling unsuccessfully after all this time since we started trying. And the worst part is that I have to thank her for the card, or she will get mad at me and start a fight, and it's just not worth it. I should have mentioned my aunt in a total whack job! DH thinks I should send her a "sorry your husband cheated on you" card and see how she feels. LOL 

 UGH!!! I hate stupid people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Thanks for listening to me vent ladies! I know you understand! 

         

        

*****Siggy/Ticker Warning*****

 Me (34)- no issues found MH (36)- MFI due to Vericocele. Straight to IVF w/ICSI 9/12, Antagonist. 9R, 7M, 5F = BFN c/p,  New RE for IVF #2- 1/13., Long Lupron. ER on 1/22 -10R, 9M, 9F. Transfer on hold due to overstimming. FET in Feb. 2 frozen blasts. Another BFN & another c/p. RPL testing all negative besides MTHFR gene, vericocle repair surgery 4/12/13-Bilateral Grade 3 Vericocele found & fixed, IVF #3 with PGS  4/13- 11R, 9M, 9F. Transferred 2 normal=BFN, 3 normal on ice. CCRM-here we come! ODWU-All test results normal. EPP in August. 21R, 20M, 19F. 12 blasts biopsied & frozen for CCS testing. Results showed 11 normal! FET Oct. 30. 2 5d 4AA blasts transferred. First ever BFP!!! Beta 1=216, Beta 2=870 1st U/S=It's TWINS!!! It's a BOY and a GIRL!! Everyone Welcome!!! 
                                   Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic

                     Pregnancy Ticker

Re: Seriously???!!!

  • Options
    ((hugs)) People who haven't been through IF just don't get it. She probably thought she was doing something nice in her crazy little mind! Last M-day my aunt text me that she was thinking of me and that she knew I'd be a mother one day. Which I know was nice but it irked me because then I wanted to know who told her we were having IF problems. Arg! I say write something passive aggressive like "thanks for attempting to lift my spirits on Mother's Day" in the thank you card. lol

    ***signature & ticker warning***


    Me: 30 ~ Stage IV Endo ~ AMH .38 ~ AFC 8
    AMH .97 as of 4/2012! ~ AMH 1.63 as of 4/2013!?!

    Him: 29 ~ perfect swimmers

    Laparotomy w/partial oophorectomy 8/2009 to remove cysts/endo.
    Stopped BCP 4/2010.
    Multiple clomid rounds from 11/2010 to 6/2011. ~ All BFN
    IUI w/clomid 7/2011. IUI w/clomid & injectables 11/2011 & 1/2012. ~ All BFN

    IVF:EPP 5/2012 ~ (4R, 3M, 2F w/ICSI). Both embryos txfrd. ~ BFN
    BCP to manage endo from 10/2012 to 12/2012.
    FET w/donor embryos #1: 10/2013 Cancelled
    FET w/donor embryos #1.2: 11/2013
    ~ ET of 2 beautiful blasts on 11/27.
    Beta 1: 503(12dp5dt) Beta 2: 1035(14dpt) Beta 3: 3001(16dpt)
    Beta 4: 8503(19dpt)
    Twins with an EDD of 8/15/14! Team Purple
    G&B born 6/30/14 at 33w3d via emergency c/s.


    If you're wondering about my avatar...it's a fried pickle chip shaped like a fetus!


    image

    image
  • Options
    hmz819hmz819 member

    Wow!  That is crazy.

     They do make sorry you were cheated on cards.  I have seen them. 

    TTC#1 since April 2011
    IVF#1 July 2012 5R, 3 made it to blast, sET c/p
    FET#1 Aug 2012 2 blasts transferred BFN
    IVF#2 Oct 2012
    16R/6M/6F/2-8 cell grade 1 transfer
    Beta 1-237.9, Beta 2-566, Beta 3-8657
    US 6w3d shows one baby w/ HB 115
    US 7w1d no more heartbeat/ D&C 11/30/12 normal karyotype
    IVF#3 Mar 2013
    6R/4M/4F 1 compacting and 2-8 cell transfer
    ectopic pg MTX given 3 month break from TTC

    IVF#4 Sept 2013--BFN
    IVF#5-7 Apr 2014, Jun 2014 and Aug 2014 banking embryos for CCS testing. Praying for normals! Image and video hosting by TinyPic imageimage

    http://i61.tinypic.com/34zll06
  • Loading the player...
  • Options

    imageDoublePortion:
    ((hugs)) People who haven't been through IF just don't get it. She probably thought she was doing something nice in her crazy little mind! Last M-day my aunt text me that she was thinking of me and that she knew I'd be a mother one day. Which I know was nice but it irked me because then I wanted to know who told her we were having IF problems. Arg! I say write something passive aggressive like "thanks for attempting to lift my spirits on Mother's Day" in the thank you card. lol

    This. She probably means well, but it still stings no matter the intention behind it. Hugs....

    ************ Signature/Ticker Warning ************
    Me (32) DH (36) - Finding our way to baby #1
    Me: POF/DOR - AMH <0.16, heterozygous c677t MTHFR, insulin resistant and gluten intolerant
    DH: Severe MFI

    12/2/11 - IUI #1- BFN 
    8/1/12 - IVF #1 - Zero response from max stims (600iu intramuscularly)

    My ovaries are just for decoration

    12/6/12 - Adopted five embryos that had been frozen for over ten years!
    2/11/13 - DEmbryo FET #1 Thawed four, sadly two didn't survive. Transferred two beautiful blasts. 
    2/16/13 - First BFP of my life @ 6dp5dt! EDD 10/30/13
    3/27/13 - After beta and u/s hell, no heartbeat ever detected. D&C at 9w1d.

    6/5/13 - Adopted four new embryos that had been frozen for seven years!
     
    9/12/13 - DEmbryo FET #2. Thawed and transferred two beautiful blasts
    9/17/13 - BFP @ 5dp6dt! EDD 05/31/14
    9/29/13 - m/c @ 5w1d. :(

    11/19/13 - DEmbryo FET #3. Thawed and transferred one blast from each batch. Wow!
    11/23/13 - BFP @ 4dp6dt! EDD 8/7/13
    Beta #1 @ 13dp6dt - 522  Beta #2 @ 16dp6dt - 1373 
    6w5d ultrasound showed one perfect baby with a beautiful heartbeat of 134bpm!

    Snowflake baby is a girl! 
    Our beautiful Snowflake girl arrived on July 22, 2014!   
    My embryo adoption blog: Wishing on a Snowflake
     
        image      image 
  • Options
    I would burn the card and not say anything to her about it. Even crazy people can understand the concept of Mother's Day and this was out of line. I do like DH idea.
    6 m/c
    Anovulatory cycles, increased Synthroid Diagnosed Sep 2010
    Natural cycle Dec 2010 BFP M/C 6 1/2 Weeks, D&E Jan 2011
    1 Clomid/Ovidrel BFN May 2011
    Natural cycle Aug 2011 BFP M/C 4 Weeks
    1 IUI Sept 2011 BFP M/c 7 weeks
    Provera Dec 2011 BFP M/C 3 Weeks
    DQ ALPHA HLA MATCH, High NK Cells Diagnosed Dec 2011
    IVF March 2012 BFP m/c 4weeks 5 days (IL, Prednisone)
    IVF#2w/DS July 2012 MEGA FAILURE BFN (IL, Dexamethasone)
    Diagnosed No real HLA Match, DQ Beta Triad, High TNF, Low NK Cells
    Oct 2012 Natural Cycle m/c 4wks (Lovenox, Prednisone) 
    Went to Beer Center- high tnf, low lad, implantation failure
    Nov/Dec 2012 LIT Treatment
    Dec 12 Humira
    Jan 2013 BFP
    Humira,LIT,Prednisone, Lovenox, IVIG, Baby Aspirin
    Miracle Born August 2013 Premature

    Yours doesn't have to be a sad story



    image
    image


    Lilypie - (ugiy)


  • Options
    People are ignorant and will never understand infertility.  I understand.  ((HUGS))
     36 DH 33 TTC for over 3 years
    First mini-IVF Sept 2011... Only 1 egg! ... BFN
    Switching RE
    IVF#2 May 2012 9 eggs and only 2 sperm, WTH!
    BFN
    IVF #3 March 2013~Tesa with back-up Donor Sperm,Tesa, unsuccessful used DS~ Chemical :(   

    Switching RE's within practice

    2 frosties waiting for us, November 2013!!!!!   Transferred 2 "average" blasts 11/20/2013
    BFP!!!!!!!  Boy/Girl Twins!!!!!! Due 08/08/2014

    My Blog




    *~God gives his hardest battles to his toughest solders. Unknown.
    image
  • Options
    Oof - I'm sorry.  That's really hard to take, even if she meant well.  I'm sorry you had to see that.  
    Married 8/2008. IVF with PGD March 2013.
    3/22 ER: 25R, 20M, 15F. 9 genetically normal, and 3 survived to Day 5
    3/27 ET: transferred 1 embryo, beta 9dp5dt=163, 12dp5dt=639
    4/25 1st ultrasound at 7 weeks = identical twins with heartbeats?!!!
    PPROM at 31w, delivery at 32 weeks of two beautiful girls
    image
  • Options

    imageluvboston:
    I would burn the card and not say anything to her about it. Even crazy people can understand the concept of Mother's Day and this was out of line. I do like DH idea.

    All of this.

    The ignorance and stupidity that we run into in the IF world is brutal but this one is up toward the top of that list. 

    I say run with your DH's idea. Those cards are out there!

    (((((hugs))))

    ETA: I'd like to throat punch your aunt.

    Unmedicated and medicated IUI's: all fail
    IVF #1: Dec 2012 16m/15f 12/9: 5dt of 2 beautiful blasts and 5 frosties
    TWINS!
    15w4d:baby a-pProm
    March 25: 18w...2 baby boys born sleeping
    July 29: FET-BFN

    Sept: TAC placed

    Oct 27: FET #2-Cancelled-monster cyst producing insane amounts of estrogen

    Nov 13: FET #2-take 2
    imageimage

  • Options

    Honestly, I have to disagree with PP. I don't think she meant well, instead I think she was being selfish. I wouldn't thank her but I would say something about her being insensitive. She reminds me of my sister and my sister is all about her. I really want to take her smash her head in to the concrete. I would seriously say "yes, thank you. I am a great aunt but the hurt that I am not a mother is very overwhelming and your card hurts". Then tell her to go eff herself.

    I am sorry you even had to deal with this. Hugs.

    TTC 1/2010 DH Dx - Azoospermia 2/2011
    Hysteroscopy 3/2011 2 Polyps removed 4/2011
    DH on Clomid / Arimidex to address hormonal issues - Sperm found July 2011!
    IVF #1 September 2011 - ER 9/8/2011- 8R, 5M - icsi - 1 made it to transfer - BFFN :-(
    IVF #2 Lucky November 2011 - ER 11/25/2011 - 15 eggs!, 13 mature, 10 fertilized with isci - 7 made it to transfer! Transferred 1 - 8 cell and 2 - 7 cell. BFP!!!!
    1st U/S - Twins! 2nd U/S - 3 heartbeats!!! - HOLY COW!!!
    Prayers for our take home babies!
    2 babies born on 3/27/12 and lost. Last baby born on 3/29/12 and lost at 20 weeks.
    My angels grew wings shortly after birth.
    Ahava Raisel, Matisyahu Nissim & Zev Chaim - Mommy and Daddy will always love you.
    IVF #3 July 2012 - ER 7/17/2012 - 10 R. 5 F. 4 made it to ET
    Transferred 2 on 7/20/2012 no snow babies :-(
    Beta on 7/31/2012 = BFMFN
    A miracle gift expected to come to us through adoption around 9/2012
    Baby girl adopted - Birth Mother changed her mind and took the baby back
    IVF #4 October 2012 - New RE. Doing PGD Testing. 8 R, 7F, 2 made it to 5 day blast for PDG testing. Both Normal (Thank you G-d!!!) 1 boy and 1 girl
    transferred one beautiful 5day blast (girl)
    Please G-d the almighty one - let this be our take home baby!
    Beta #1 158, Beta #2 318, 1 Absolutely magnificent HB at 175! Thank you G-d!!!
    Baby Girl born August 5th. Thank you G-d for our precious miracle.
    AMA. PAIF & SAIF always welcome - I need all the prayers I can get!

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • Options
    I'm so sorry you had to get a card like that!  It was very insensitive.  Last year I was in a very bad place over mother's day.  If I had received something like that, I think I would have to kill her!  (((hugs)))
    Me 35, DH 36
    TTC summer 2008
    Diagnose me. DOR, DH perfect
    IUI # 1 6/2010, BFN
    IUI # 2 8/2010, BFN
    IVF # 1 10/2010 Canceled poor response
    IVF 1.2 12/2010 BFP! mc 6 weeks 2 days
    Mental health break for 10 months
    IVF # 2 10/2011 BFN
    IVF # 3 5/2012 BFP! 10 eggs retrieved (best ever)
    7 fertilized transferred 3
    Beta #1 14dpo - 72, Beta #2 17dpo 145 Beta 3 20dpo 521
    First u/s June 15 saw HB 126 bpm missed m/c 7/5/12 10 weeks D&C 7/6/12
    IVF#4 ER 9/30 ET 10/3 Beta 10/16 BFFN. IVF #5 final with o/e. ER 1/21 only 1 retrieved, hoping my lonestar is the one. Beta #1 2/6/13 = 209.... please let this be it! Keep growing lonestar! Beta #2 2/8/13 - 586! , Beta #3 2/10/13 = 1898. First u/s perfect little heart beat at 116 bpm. Measure 6 weeks 1 day. EDD 10/14/13
    3/4/13 measuring right on track beautiful heartbeat 171 bpm, graduated from RE to OB... bittersweet.
    PAIF/SAIF always welcome! Its a girl! 

    Maggie Grace is here!  10/5/13... 8lbs 6 ounces of pure joy!

    TTC#2  No birth control since DD was born.  Getting ready to jump back in the saddle.  Weaning this month. RE
    appt scheduled 5/8.   Here we go again!

    IFV# 6.  10/27  6 retrieved 4 mature 3 fertilized.  2 made it to 3dt 10/30. 1"very pretty 8 cell" and 1 6 cell.  Beta
    11/13.   Please stick embies!!!!  We love you so much already! 11/12/14  POAS, BFP... beta tomorrow!
    11/13 beta #1  924!!!  2nd bet 11/15 1906, one more on 11/17 3rd & final beta 3430.  First u/s 12/5, 7w4d, 2 heartbeats,
    both measuring right on track....2nd u/s... all is well... both beans measuring right on track... released from RE... first
    appointment with MFM 1/5.  Looks like this is really happening!

    image




  • Options
    Scoop77Scoop77 member
    That really blows. I'm sorry. Though your H seems pretty funny about it!
  • Options
    JSM0801JSM0801 member

    Thanks for all the support! I felt much better after getting this out, and I'm glad to know you all understand and don't think I'm being crazy. I can't get myself to say thank you and have decided to NOT acknowledge this ridiculous card. Maybe the silence will get her to question her actions, but I doubt it. I might need to be tied up so I don't attack her the next time I see her. 

    Thanks again, and I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!!! 

      

             

            

    *****Siggy/Ticker Warning*****

     Me (34)- no issues found MH (36)- MFI due to Vericocele. Straight to IVF w/ICSI 9/12, Antagonist. 9R, 7M, 5F = BFN c/p,  New RE for IVF #2- 1/13., Long Lupron. ER on 1/22 -10R, 9M, 9F. Transfer on hold due to overstimming. FET in Feb. 2 frozen blasts. Another BFN & another c/p. RPL testing all negative besides MTHFR gene, vericocle repair surgery 4/12/13-Bilateral Grade 3 Vericocele found & fixed, IVF #3 with PGS  4/13- 11R, 9M, 9F. Transferred 2 normal=BFN, 3 normal on ice. CCRM-here we come! ODWU-All test results normal. EPP in August. 21R, 20M, 19F. 12 blasts biopsied & frozen for CCS testing. Results showed 11 normal! FET Oct. 30. 2 5d 4AA blasts transferred. First ever BFP!!! Beta 1=216, Beta 2=870 1st U/S=It's TWINS!!! It's a BOY and a GIRL!! Everyone Welcome!!! 
                                       Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic

                         Pregnancy Ticker
  • Options
    I like the idea of sending her a card, heh heh. I've always wanted to start my own "inappropriate greeting card" business.... like a Christmas card to an ex that cheated "Merry Christmas You're a Ho ho ho". Maybe your Aunt can get my first card, LOL
    Me: 33, Endocrine issues & FVL       DH: 32, Nothing 
    NTNP 2009-2012         TTC since 2012:
    • Clomid, 2 IUI cycles, and 5 IVF cycles = BFN
    • FET #1   August 2013 = BFP!     EDD 5/11/14
    • Jack dx at 19w1d with Dandy Walker on 12/16/13
    • Severe Pre-e /HELLP set in Jack born sleeping at 20w1d on 12/23/13
    • FET #2 --July 2014  BFP!  ---  EDD  4/5/15

    Jack has handpicked his sibling up there :)

    My blog about IF and loss ... Kate's IF Blog

            Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 

                                                      

                                                                              Lilypie Pregnancy tickers


                  Anniversary





  • Options

    Big ((hugs)).  I know they're coming late, but still thinking of you.

    I would definitely not thank her for the card. That would just encourage the behaviour.  If you do have to acknowledge it, I would just say you were confused by it.  Good Luck!

     
    me 33/DH 36
    ttc since 10/2008; d/x: mild MFI, stageII endo
    ~~PAIF/SAIF Welcome~~
    11 IUI’s = 1 m/c (7w4d)
    IVF#1 January 2012 BFN, FET #1 April 2012 BFN
    Surprise BFP October 2012 m/c (7w), Surprise BFP April 2013 m/c (6w4d)
    IVF #2: July 2013, ET 1 embryo 7/18, beta 1 @ 14dp3dt - 757, beta 2 @ 16dp3dt - 1762
    U/S 1 @ 6w4d = 1 little frogger with HB of 118, U/S 2 @ 7w3d measuring right on track with HB of 160
    Stick Frogger Stick! Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!   It's a Girl, EDD April 7, 2014

    BabyFruit Ticker

This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"