(Heavy) Can I get some good thoughts?

NastyAnnie

I know, gasp, two posts in one day. 

 

 So, I know I don't know a lot of you, but some of you do know me. Tomorrow I'm finally getting sterilized, after 3 years of awful. I'm not the most happy about it ever, but I also don't want to die, so you know, I'll deal. Anyway, I know it's very low-risk, but they are going to put me all the way under, so if you have any good thoughts to spare tomorrow morning that I will wake up sound and in one piece and without the capability to create life, that'd be good. 

NastyAnnie

Thanks. I'm sure it'll be fine, but you know, anytime they put me to sleep I always have a feeling I won't wake up again. 

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KJmashup

I don't know you very well, but I'm thinking of you. Good luck.

BoopADoopBetty

Good luck and hugs to you!

Wine O Mite

Good Luck and Hugs to you!

Hesterlicious

Good luck to you tomorrow!

missyishere

Good luck, and I hope you have a quick recovery.

mcar001

I don't know you, but I wish you good luck! It can be scary, but it'll be just fine

scoutkate

Good thoughts, love!

KaramelSutra

Good luck tomorrow 

NastyAnnie

Thanks everybody! 

 

My feelings are definitely in a big jumble of crazy at the moment. On the one hand, we didn't necessarily want more children (though that has changed a bit...) and having more children biologically would just be way too risky. I've gotten the opinions of five different doctors now, and they've all said not only "No." but also that I probably wouldn't even make it past viability. So, all of that, and no baby. I need to be here for my kiddo that I already have.

On the other hand. It's not fair. I'm 26 years old. I shouldn't be making this decision now. I have a brother who is a huge part of my life and I love him dearly. I am so sad that Jack will never have that, and that my dream-baby will never get to look up to him and be his little brother or sister. I know we could adopt someday, but I doubt we'll ever be able to afford it, and Bun's already getting up there in age. So, yes. My feelings are very mixed. I don't feel like my family is complete, and yet, my body is telling me that it has to be. It's sad. And also a relief.  

 

I'm a nervous wreck, to be honest. 

KJmashup

NastyAnnie:

Thanks everybody! 

 

My feelings are definitely in a big jumble of crazy at the moment. On the one hand, we didn't necessarily want more children (though that has changed a bit...) and having more children biologically would just be way too risky. I've gotten the opinions of five different doctors now, and they've all said not only "No." but also that I probably wouldn't even make it past viability. So, all of that, and no baby. I need to be here for my kiddo that I already have.

On the other hand. It's not fair. I'm 26 years old. I shouldn't be making this decision now. I have a brother who is a huge part of my life and I love him dearly. I am so sad that Jack will never have that, and that my dream-baby will never get to look up to him and be his little brother or sister. I know we could adopt someday, but I doubt we'll ever be able to afford it, and Bun's already getting up there in age. So, yes. My feelings are very mixed. I don't feel like my family is complete, and yet, my body is telling me that it has to be. It's sad. And also a relief.  

 

I'm a nervous wreck, to be honest. 

I completely understand, as the same has happened to me in the form of 2IF and pulmonary embolism. Unfair, indeed. However, I haven't had to undergo the more in-depth treatment as you are. I am sorry, and I'll be thinking of you. 

CinemaGoddess

Good luck, Annie!  Lots of <3s your way!

insertclevername

I am really sorry you are going through all this and hope everything goes well.  Thinking lots of positive and healthy thoughts for you.