Is it concerning...

chardonnay24

that my 2 year old doesn't take me seriously? Or anyone for that matter?

I'm seriously considering asking his pedi if it's a problem. I don't know if he actually has trouble interpreting facial expressions and tones or if he just doesn't care, but it's starting to really bother me.

I feel like we don't make any headway on discipline because he never takes it seriously. We do a combination of timeout (for serious things, like hitting) and natural consequences (for throwing food, dumping milk, throwing toys at people). I also try hard to avoid triggers, redirect, and offer choices to avoid scenarios in which we will need to discipline. He is never bothered by anything we do. He is either very nonchalant about it or is laughing or smiling.

For example, yesterday he jumped off a box into my lap. I removed him and asked him not to jump off the box because it hurt me. He laughed and got back up onto the box. I removed the box and reiterated that it was not nice to jump on people. He jumped from the floor onto my lap, so I told him that I wasn't going to play with him if he was going to continue to hurt me and left the room. He followed me, laughing, and started hitting me and saying, "I'm getting you, Mommy! I'm getting you!" I sent him to time out. He strolled over to his timeout space and sat down. When he got out, we talked about why he was in timeout. "We do not hit. It is not a nice behavior and it hurts when you hit. If you are angry at Mommy or if you want to play, you need to use your words". He hit me again. Through this though exchange, he was smiling, jumping around, and being generally playful. And this happens all the time with everything we do. I use a firm voice, remain calm, and stay consistent, and he still doesn't "get" it.

Is this normal? I don't think it is just me because he reacts the same with every adult.

ETA: I don't know if this matters, but he has SPD and a speech delay (receptive and expressive). I asked his speech therapist yesterday and she didn't seem to have any suggestions but did mention that she noticed it as well. I will ask the OT when we see her next as well.

hopecounts

This is normal, welcome to the terrible 2s.

 Be consistent he's boundary testing as long as you hang in there he'll learn.

this is like a puppy nipping mama dog, he doesn't know better so she teaches him by nipping him back so he learns its not fun.

At 2 Keep it real short "no jumping on Mommy" and move the box immediately.

also don't ask when something isn't an option just tell. 

RondackHiker

This is when I need to walk away from ds. Laughing at my anger pushes all kinds of buttons and I need a moment to breath.

chardonnay24

hopecounts:

This is normal, welcome to the terrible 2s.

 Be consistent he's boundary testing as long as you hang in there he'll learn.

this is like a puppy nipping mama dog, he doesn't know better so she teaches him by nipping him back so he learns its not fun.

At 2 Keep it real short "no jumping on Mommy" and move the box immediately.

also don't ask when something isn't an option just tell. 

He's been in the terrible 2's since about 14 months...

I have a really hard time comparing his behavior to other kids his age. He's the only one who EVER acts like this so I get to thinking something is wrong with him. Other kids get very upset when they are sent to timeout and he just laughs and does it again.

AI know I said I asked but it's more along the lines of: "Don't jump on Mommy" "Use walking feet" "Food goes in our mouth, not our nose/eyes/ear/belly button", etc.

chardonnay24

RondackHiker:

This is when I need to walk away from ds. Laughing at my anger pushes all kinds of buttons and I need a moment to breath.

See, he does this all the time. For everything. And a lot of time, I go into the bedroom or bathroom and close the door, because I'm about to throttle him or cry or both. He just can't take anything seriously.

But a lot of time, we're in public and I can't walk away. Today in the library, he ran away from me in storytime. Their rule is that if you run, you leave the room for a minute or two and reiterate the rule for no running in the library. I did that and told him that if he ran again, we would go home. As soon as I set him down, he ran away laughing and saying, "Catch me, catch me". I walked over to him, picked him up, and we left. He wasn't upset in the least and continued laughing and smiling the whole way home, singing a made up song about running and catching people.

All the while I'm seething because he couldn't tell or didn't care that I wasn't playing a game.

RondackHiker

chardonnay24:

RondackHiker:

This is when I need to walk away from ds. Laughing at my anger pushes all kinds of buttons and I need a moment to breath.

See, he does this all the time. For everything. And a lot of time, I go into the bedroom or bathroom and close the door, because I'm about to throttle him or cry or both. He just can't take anything seriously.

But a lot of time, we're in public and I can't walk away. Today in the library, he ran away from me in storytime. Their rule is that if you run, you leave the room for a minute or two and reiterate the rule for no running in the library. I did that and told him that if he ran again, we would go home. As soon as I set him down, he ran away laughing and saying, "Catch me, catch me". I walked over to him, picked him up, and we left. He wasn't upset in the least and continued laughing and smiling the whole way home, singing a made up song about running and catching people.

All the while I'm seething because he couldn't tell or didn't care that I wasn't playing a game.

That last line has been my life the last week. Ds does it more when tired, and I know the seething. Just keep reinforcing.

He might be more stubborn, and you might need to work on punishments that he will care about.

amykins1283

From what I am reading it seems that you are being consistent and have been dealing with this for quite awhile. I honestly don't think it is completely normal for a two year old to never care about any consequence they are given. If you have been at this awhile then surely you would have hit on something he took seriously at some point.

I think it is worth exploring with his therapists and pediatrician to see what they think. If you think something might be going on with him then it won't hurt to get some opinions.

Spapeggy

I would say your punishment isn't effective. He obviously doesn't care for timeout, some kids don't so when you threaten or put him in it he's like whatever. I'd take toys away or find something that works.

MrsGoodkat

Have you tried positive reinforcement? A behavior chart where he can earn stickers or coins or something towards a special reward? Maybe a small daily goal (a special snack he likes) and then a larger weekly goal (a small toy or new book or something).