Feel like a terrible mom

oandmplus1

DS is EBF and wants to eat all the time during the day, it seems like he is never satisfied. He is about 3 weeks old tomorrow. I don't think it's a growth spurt because it has been like this since he was born. I have been feeding on demand, buy O can't tell when he is truly full. He will pull off himself and fall asleep, I change him to wake him and offer the other side, he falls asleep and I put him d

ClandestineX

Don't put yourself down, same thing happened to me starting the third week.. my son gained for the first two weeks then lost weight the next two, so I started supplementing because the pedi said he is such an active baby he might actually be using more calories trying to get the milk and everyday activity.. (he likes to flail and kick a lot, especially when my milk starts flowing slower).

I felt sad cause I thought I was starving my poor baby.

What you can try is keep waking him up, undress him, change him, wipe his face with a warm cloth, wipe his feet with a cool cloth...

guilletskichuk

Do you pump and know what your supply is like?

My LO was the same way but early on. It turned out that my supply was too low to satisfy him. I had to begin supplementing his feeds with formula. Eventually I had to just EFF.

I'm not saying this IS the same in your case but it could be.

Please don't feel terrible though! It sounds like you are trying your best to keep your LO happy.

oandmplus1

Thanks for the replys, sorry it got cut off. I am going to go to an LC tomorrow, hopefully it will help. I think my supply is ok, i pump after his morning feeding and get 34 oz total. I just hate hearing him cry in the car because I thought he was satisfied when we left the house. He usually falls asleep after 5 min of screaming but I feel terrible.

Angela814

DD1 nursed pretty constantly (every hour on average during the day) for the first 2 months. She gained weight super fast.

DD2 was my "easy" baby. She only nursed every 2 hours or so and gained weight fast.

DD3 nurses constantly now and is finally gaining weight. For the first 2 weeks she would fall asleep nursing, and nothing I did would wake her up. She gained nothing during those 2 weeks. She was finally close to her birth weight at 4 weeks. I bought an infant scale because I was so worried about her weight gain. She's been averaging just under 1 oz/day for the last couple weeks.

Some babies just need to nurse more often than others. You can't overfeed him, so keep nursing on demand and talk to your pedi if you're worried about weight gain.

amatistajoy

The best thing I did that helped me was weighted feeds. I bought a baby scale, and I weighed the baby before and after a feed to see how much he was getting. 

 Pumping is not a good indicator of supply. Your body doesn't respond the same to a pump as to the baby.

 DS1 was a screamer and it turned out he had silent reflux. He nursed constantly because it soothed his throat. He HATED the carseat. I would feed him, put him in the seat, and if I didn't leave right away he'd be crying up a storm. He would cry/scream through car rides and not fall asleep easily in the seat.

DS2 is a heck of a lot easier. He goes 2-3 hours between feeds. He does not have reflux. 

Angela814

kballou:

Thanks for the replys, sorry it got cut off. I am going to go to an LC tomorrow, hopefully it will help. I think my supply is ok, i pump after his morning feeding and get 34 oz total. I just hate hearing him cry in the car because I thought he was satisfied when we left the house. He usually falls asleep after 5 min of screaming but I feel terrible.

I assume you mean 3-4 oz, which is a good amount to pump after a feeding.

The crying in the car is the story of my life. DD2 has preschool classes, so sometimes I have to feed DD3 and put her in the carseat so we can leave. Most times she cries even if she's just spent the last 30 minutes eating. She does fall asleep or quiet down when we start moving at least.

I don't think the scale I have is accurate enough to do weighed feedings. It measures to the 1/2 oz, but I can weigh DD3 multiple times in a row and get slightly different numbers. It's not a big deal if her overall weight is off by 1/2 - 1 oz, but it is if I'm trying to measure a feeding that may only be 2 oz total.

oandmplus1

I did a weighted feeding the other day and wasn't sure if it was really accurate because he had only gained about 1.5 oz after nursing on both sides. Could he just be falling asleep or comfor sucking and not taking in much at each feeding and that is why he is "snacking" so often?
He is gaining weight well, he is almost a pound over his birth weight already, and was 1.5 oz over his birthweight at 2 weeks, plus he has plenty of wet and dirty diapers

oandmplus1

amatistajoy:

The best thing I did that helped me was weighted feeds. I bought a baby scale, and I weighed the baby before and after a feed to see how much he was getting.nbsp;nbsp;Pumping is not a good indicator of supply. Your body doesn't respond the same to a pump as to the baby.nbsp;DS1 was a screamer and it turned out he had silent reflux. He nursed constantly because it soothed his throat.nbsp;He HATED the carseat. I would feed him, put him in the seat, and if I didn't leave right away he'd be crying up a storm. He would cry/scream through car rides and not fall asleep easily in the seat.DS2 is a heck of a lot easier. He goes 23 hours between feeds. He does not have reflux.nbsp;

I wonder about reflux, my DD had it. He isn't fussy while eating or right after feeds, but about 10 to 20 minutes after he finishes he starts rooting first and then cries if I don't feed him right away.

MrsWindyCity

DS1 was the same way. He nursed constantly for the first 3 months. It was draining. Some kids are more like grazers or snackers I guess (or at least that's how I'd defined DS1!). If he's gaining, I wouldn't worry (though I know it can be frustrating) and pumping 3-4 oz. after a feed is really great. Is it possible you have an oversupply? Maybe DS is getting a lot of foremilk but not a lot of hindmilk to keep him satisfied longer.

ETA: And you are NOT a terrible mom, not at all!  

amatistajoy

kballou:

amatistajoy:

The best thing I did that helped me was weighted feeds. I bought a baby scale, and I weighed the baby before and after a feed to see how much he was getting.nbsp;nbsp;Pumping is not a good indicator of supply. Your body doesn't respond the same to a pump as to the baby.nbsp;DS1 was a screamer and it turned out he had silent reflux. He nursed constantly because it soothed his throat.nbsp;He HATED the carseat. I would feed him, put him in the seat, and if I didn't leave right away he'd be crying up a storm. He would cry/scream through car rides and not fall asleep easily in the seat.DS2 is a heck of a lot easier. He goes 23 hours between feeds. He does not have reflux.nbsp;

I wonder about reflux, my DD had it. He isn't fussy while eating or right after feeds, but about 10 to 20 minutes after he finishes he starts rooting first and then cries if I don't feed him right away.

 

This was my DS1 exactly. He was NOT fussing during feeds. He would also wake up screaming and wouldn't stop until I he nursed. 

JSS1002

Is he gaining weight?  If so, no problem!

oandmplus1

Thank you all for the reassurance. I think he must be a grazer. Oversupply may also be possible as I had that problem with my DD.

talors511

kballou:

Thank you all for the reassurance. I think he must be a grazer. Oversupply may also be possible as I had that problem with my DD.

Yup, don't worry about too much.  

ilovemygirls

My oldest nursed every 2-3 hours until she was well over 6mos old- and she always nursed for 45min to 1 hr each time.  So yes, sometimes I would only have a 1 hr break in between feedings.  My second baby?  She still nursed every 2-3 hours at first but she only took about 15-20 min. Plus she started spreading them out more as she got older.  Your baby is still very new & may just be a very prolific nurser like my first.  It's exhausting.