How do I explain this to my son?

malcivar

Got a call from Chris's school today?  He was walking in front of another student when that other student bit him on the shoulder.  I'm going to guess it was a big deal since they said they washed it with soap and water but wanted to make us aware in case we notice.  I haven't seen him yet but I can only assume there is a mark left there.

I haven't spoken to the school yet (they left a voicemail) so I don't know how he reacted yet.  Did he cry?  Was he even aware something happened?

And to that point, what should I do?  How do I talk to him about this - especially if he's seemingly unaware of what happened which is a distinct possibility? 

smiling76

This is a daily occurance I feel at my daycare--- one of the two boys is either getting bit or doing the biting (and yes, as a mom I feel HORRRRIBLE about having to sign that report).  Anyways, I tend not to even bring it up.  Usually they'll say something in front of him and if he was the victim, I just say "awwww buddy, I'm sorry.  Are you doing ok??"--or if it wasn't stated in front of him, then when we are at home I ask how daycare was (or school since DS1 is also in a preschool program for his SN) and usually he'll tell ME the issue (so and so hit me, etc etc).  If they aren't phased by it, I try not to make it a big deal.  Honestly, my big thing is retaliation and making him understand that IF something happens, he can't do it BACK to the kid but to tell a teacher instead.  He is generally targeted by teachers as picking on others, and sometimes I wonder if he's doing it in retaliation. 

 

Shayna0182

As the mom of a former biter, I feel for you.  Ds went through a phase from the age of about 1 to 3, where he bit everyone.  It was extremely embarrassing to pick him up from daycare everyday and hear he bit several kids.  His OT even gave us a bite stick for him, to attach to his shirt, so that when he felt the urge he could bite that versus another person.

He hasn't bit for several months, but I would say what did help was intensive speech therapy.  Now that he is more verbal and can actually voice what he wants, he doesn't bite anymore.

I know as a requirement for daycare all of the children must have all of their shots up to date.  I wouldn't think anything more than a little tlc or a little soap and water to clean the bite is needed.    

 

lite-bright

I like auntie's advice. 

I don't have much else, just wanted to say that DD2 gave DD1 a lovely bite this evening. She's much more, um, experimental about that than DD1 ever was and it's definitely not fun to deal with on either/both sides.

DD1 told me about it and *then* started crying, though, lol. I think it shocked her more than it truly hurt. She's been on the receiving end twice now, I've gotten bit a couple of times, and DH once. 

DD2 got in big trouble. I hope this time it sinks in. 

malcivar

Well, he didn't bring it up - at all so I think he just chalked it up to nothing.  He does that - which scares me sometimes on other levels because I am afraid he won't 'register' if something really bad happens to him, know what I mean?  

I talked to the school again today and they said that Chris did nothing to either provoke or retaliate.  He was upset - but mostly pain and then upset at the rapid chain of events right after - taking him to the nurse, washing him up, etc but otherwise ok.  My mom is beside herself to which I promptly reminded her I was a Class A biter as a toddler - I would bite my twin ALL THE TIME.  

The school did say that this is the 1st time this other child does something like this and that they would be watching him for future behavior - they didn't tell me who it was and I didn't ask.  I just hope that whatever set off that little boy gets addressed asap.  

Poor Chris, He winced a little when I was helping him get dressed this morning - it's a pretty mean looking bite but thankfully no broken skin.  

Ah parenthood!