tell me it wont be so bad...

jd614

I go back to work 2 weeks from tomorrow and I am so nervous. I know it will be fine and DS is in excellent hands but I am sad to leave him and be away for so many hours (i have 12 hour days). I guess I just fear that I will lose the very special bond we have now and he like wont know I am the mom or something. I am also weaning from breastfeeding so hormones are out of wack and I am sure contributing! I just want to feel like we still get significant time together even if its only 2 hours a day.

salt78

It won't be so bad. It takes a little adjusting, but everything will be fine and I promise you that he will never, ever forget who his mother is. My DD has been in daycare since she was 8 weeks old and there has never been any question that I am her mom.

salt78

EllaHella:

Also, think of being able to drink a cup of coffee while it is still hot and getting to eat your lunch in peace.

This part is awesome too.

jd614

salt78:

EllaHella:

Also, think of being able to drink a cup of coffee while it is still hot and getting to eat your lunch in peace.

This part is awesome too.

 

haha never thought about that! ok thinking of those kind of things helps! i also commute on the bus so i am looking forward to my nap on the way home so that when i get home to DS i can be 100% focused on him. 

KathrynMD

2 things -

1 - you are mom all day long, for your LO's entire life - if there are a few diapers that someone else gets to change, so be it.  Don't get caught up in those details.  Parenting a long slog and you will not be there for every moment of your LO's life no matter if you work or not.

2 - I always think of it as more people to love my child. If there's one thing I want for my child is to have loving, safe, secure relationships early in her life so that those become the foundation for her future relationship and self esteem and confidence - there is nothing there to not be happy and joyful about.

Fullcircle06

salt78:

EllaHella:

Also, think of being able to drink a cup of coffee while it is still hot and getting to eat your lunch in peace.

This part is awesome too.

Agree. It also helps me to think about the things DS will be able to have and do b/c of two incomes vs. one.

traveltheworld

I went back to work when DS was 4 months old and my parents watched him.  I was really worried that we'd lose our speical bond too.  But everyone is right, you are still special.  Even though DS only sees me for an hour or two at night during the week, I'm still his favourite person and whenever he isn't feeling well, still looks to me for comfort.  I also feel like I spend a lot more time actively playing with him when I'm with him since I don't see him for 10 hours of the day.  Good luck!

laurakaz13

Ditto what everyone else said. I have an extremely special bond with DD and have since she was born. I went back to work 3 months and 1 week after she was born. It was tough at first, but I am such a happier person with a career I love. DD and I (and DH) have lots of quality time together and she loves daycare.

iverske9

I tell women all the time my mother raised me as a working mother (parents still married after 36 years and 4 daughters) and you know what?! I Never not knew who my mother was, or felt like I didn't have a bod with her. I am super close with her to this day, have a masters, married a great man and have a great career. You child will always know who their mother is. It will be an adjustment but you will adjust too! 

jiffy-pop

At first, you will be calculating the hours in the week that you don't get to spend with him and realize you spend more time away from him (during his awake time) than you do with him. This is normal and it will get better, I promise. Take it from me that your child will always love you more and will know that you are his mommy.

BTW, I went to daycare since I was 6wks old and I don't remember ANY of my daycare teachers but I DO remember my mom...

TooShy2

I had these exact same thoughts and worries. So much so that when we went for our practice day at day care a few days before I actually went back to work I had quiet tears dripping down my face the whole time (I also had post partum depression, but I didn't realize it then). It is really, really hard at first, but it gets easier, much easier. Now that she is older we have our goodbye routine in the morning, a hug, a kiss, then another hug, then she comes to the window to wave goodbye. I can't tell you how much it makes my day when I walk in to pick her up and she screams "Mama!!!" and runs up and gives me the biggest hug ever - almost launching herself into my arms. DD has always known I am her Mommy, and I think being in day care makes our time together much better. I am sad to be away from her, but it is OK, and she is in very good hands. It will be OK, it really will.

itsmevkb

KathrynMD:

2 things -

1 - you are mom all day long, for your LO's entire life - if there are a few diapers that someone else gets to change, so be it.  Don't get caught up in those details.  Parenting a long slog and you will not be there for every moment of your LO's life no matter if you work or not.

2 - I always think of it as more people to love my child. If there's one thing I want for my child is to have loving, safe, secure relationships early in her life so that those become the foundation for her future relationship and self esteem and confidence - there is nothing there to not be happy and joyful about.

All of this.  Mothering, and fathering for that matter, is a 24/7 job even if you aren't with your child 24/7.   My parents both worked and if you asked me who raised me I wouldn't say my nanny Kate, or my babysitter Evelyn, I would say my mom and dad. 

For me, the anticipation of going back has always been worse than the actual act of returning to work. 

bensbride225

Ditto to everything everyone else said. Plus, DH and I have seen it as a huge benefit that our girls receive extra and early socialization outside the home, learn to respect other adults, become friends with kids of different cultures and backgrounds (our in-home daycare is pretty diverse)... I could go on and on. It's hard at first but I think attitude has a lot to do with it. Choose to see it as something positive, for you and your child! Good luck!

marym94

it won't be easy at first but - as with everything - time will make it better. you are a great mama who obviously loves your time with your little one.  just know that you are not alone and you will be SO excited to be home with your baby at the end of the day.  HUGS!