Babies on the brain but...

vkdoss

My husband and I have been married for almost 8 years.  I would like to have a dollar for every time we've been asked "when are you going to have a baby..." or other similar questions.  We want to have a child adventually but people just don't understand that we aren't ready to be parents.  Lately I've been replying to the question in a jokingly manner "isn't that the big question".  Does anyone have any other suggestions or things to say to get people to shut up about asking us when we're going to have a baby? 

kcisthebombdotcom

A simple "someday" and change the subject is sufficient.  

People are always going to ask. Once you have the first baby, then they'll start incessantly asking about the next. Get used to it.  

jenjacobsen86

My husband and I have only been married for about 7 months but we have already been getting asked the "when are you having babies" question since the moment we got back from our honeymoon! I was saying "around our two year anniversary we will start trying" because that was initially our plan. Now I've been taking a "someday" response approach (this way there are no time-frames or expectations)! I think that is probably the best response, it's vague and simple. However, everything I do causes the "are you pregnant?" question! A simple stomach ache or headache (or even just needing to pee!!) means I am pregnant to people!

hollyk224

jenjacobsen86:

My husband and I have only been married for about 7 months but we have already been getting asked the "when are you having babies" question

We are getting the same thing.  Our first anniversary is next month, and we have waited the longest out of all of our siblings to have children.  One couple got pregnant right away, one after 4 months, and the other after 10 months... I think our family and friends are expecting us to be the same way, and that's not happening!   

ave1012

DH and I got married 11 years to the day of our first date and then were married 7.5 years before we had DD. When people asked I would just tell them someday and that DH and I are enjoying just being with each other and traveling. It is annoying but in the end I am glad that I did not "rush" to do it, we had established jobs, savings, and travel!!!

JNCPro3130

This is the most annoying question, IMO.  I'm always polite and say something along the lines of how we are waiting until we have a house or until DH has a steady job, which is usually enough.  I FEEL like saying, "Wow, kids?  We hadn't really thought about it, but now that YOU brought it up, we should totally have a baby NOW.  Thanks for bringing it up!" 

Do people really think that them bringing it up is going to be the "push" we need to have a child?

I'm off my soap box now.  ;o) 

SmileyJay

I think for starters you just have to realize that after 8 years of marriage the majority of people would assume you either don't want kids or are facing infertility. Most traditional people see marriage as a means to bring up children. We have been married for 2 years and have already had one person come out and ask if we are having trouble getting pregnant.  I'm 23... we just don't want one right this minute, or 9 months from now. My grandmother, who had her first at 17 and ended up with 4, doesn't really understand this concept.

I have used all of the following:

-"I don't want to share him just yet"

-"We are young, I don't want to rush it!" 

-"Whenever we feel ready I guess"

-"We will love being parents one day, but right now we really love your life how it is" 

Just change the subject or ask them something equally as personal.  The last time my SIL asked I said "well you had your daughter when you were younger than I am. What made you decide to do that?" and she started considering why we would be waiting. 

 Of course, you have every right to just say "that question is so weird. I don't think its any of your business!" Have a great day!  

CRLSMC2011

My cousin responded, "We are too selfish to have kids." 

pmarie33

CRLSMC2011:

My cousin responded, "We are too selfish to have kids." 

This could be code for "We have been trying and trying and aren't pg yet, so step off".

I know this because it's exactly what we used to say before we got pg with DD (after 3 years of trying).