Shan! And everyone else too. Update!

NativeFloridian · May 2013

shanado:
He's a sweet pea. Gosh, I love his little perfect head. So how's it going? How are the kids with him? Have your parents been supportive? How's ex? Has he seen him? I realize that's a lot of questions and probably should have made a thread.

Things are going really well, honestly. DS is an absolute dream. He's even caught a little bit of a cold, but still isn't fussy. The girls love him, though DD2 gets a bit jealous when he's got something she knows is hers - especially the giant swaddle blankets I use for everything. I'm glad his muslin swaddle blankies are a different color because I think I'd go nuts if she got jealous EVERY time I put a blanket on him, lol. But other than that, they think he's fun and interesting.

Ex is...

Well, if you ask me, I think he's drawing ever-closer to a downward spiral. He was at the wedding that Manfriend was a groomsman for and they ended up speaking to one another over the course of the event. I'm informed that Ex spoke quite candidly of the addition of Molly into his drug repertoire. (Click here for the Wiki about Molly.) And this was a big family event - the families of the bride and groom were subjected to this!

So not only is he back to pot, he's obviously also broadening his horizons and finding more things, some of which are actually legitimately addictive, to get himself high with. Shrooms, friends' prescriptions, etc. And considering that he doesn't need a substance to be addictive in order to become addicted to it - he just has an "addict" personality - that's pretty alarming from my POV.

Booze is still a huge priority in his life - he even got a second job, a few hours a week, so he still has the ability to purchase booze after his child support comes out. When he's sober he's great - he makes the most of the little bit of time he spends with the kids (and yeah, he's seen DS and spent a bit of time with him). The thing is that I suspect he's spending less and less of his free time actually sober.

Today he helped me get the rest of my stuff out of his house and into storage at my parents', and before we walked out the door to head to my side of town he opened the fridge and took a swig of champagne out of the bottle. "It's the only thing with flavor in the house," he said. That struck me as the type of thing that only alcoholics typically do. Oh, and he got me a Mother's Day present. It was another bottle of the same champagne he swigged at. Not to be cynical or anything, but I'm thinking 2 for 1 special.

Maybe he's not spiralling out of control just yet, but I can see the life of an addict in his future, easily. I'm glad I got the hell out of Dodge, and the only hope that I have at this point is that the stipulation in our custody agreement that says neither of us can be under the influence of any kind of substance while the kids are in our care will at least ensure he stays sober while they're with him.

Rachey1082 · May 2013

Thanks for the update!!

I'm glad you got out when you did, it sounds like his life is getting completely out of control.

Where's our Manfriend update?!

NativeFloridian · May 2013

Rachey1082:
Thanks for the update!! I'm glad you got out when you did, it sounds like his life is getting completely out of control. Where's our Manfriend update?!

...I knew I was forgetting something!

Manfriend is awesome. We didn't get to see each other until halfway into his trip here but he spent the majority of those days at my house with me and the kids. He made us food. He helped me fold clothes, held the baby so I could do other things, and brought me Tylenol when I was crampy. When I accidentally fell asleep on the couch, he played with my kids and made sure they didn't wreck the place. And best of all, he told me I was gorgeous even though I definitely looked like a hot mess. Plus he got along with my parents. The kids LOVED him. LOVED.

Pretty much, life was just all-around easier when he was here, and now that he's back in VA I miss him like crazy.

ladybugpjb · May 2013

I don't know what to say about your ex.... I'm glad you are not in that situation more, and I hope that something clicks for him that he's ruining his life -- for the sake of the kids, mostly. I have no experience with addicts, so that's about all I know to say.

And very exciting about manfriend. He sounds like such a great guy, and his getting along with your family and kids just makes things sound even better!

Edit: grammar fail

melissa0726 · May 2013

ladybugpjb:
I don't know what to say about your ex.... I'm glad you are not in that situation more, and I hope that something clicks for him that he's ruining his life -- for the sake of the kids, mostly. I have no experience with addicts, so that's about all I know to say.
And very exciting about manfriend. He sounds like such a great guy, and his getting along with your family and kids just makes things sound even better!
Edit: grammar fail

Ditto all of this! Glad to hear manfriend is a family-friendly guy

NotSharknado · May 2013

Thanks for the update. Geez, I'm sorry your ex is getting more douchy by the minute. Man friend sounds sweet. So who does Ds look like? Do you think he'll have dd2's gawgeous eyes??????

WashingtonQueen · May 2013

I'm really sorry about ex. I have been around a lot of addicts and it is not pleasant to watch. I hope for the kids sake that he straightens out before it gets too bad.

I am really happy to hear about Manfriend. He sounds awesome!!

NativeFloridian · May 2013

shanado:
Thanks for the update. Geez, I'm sorry your ex is getting more douchy by the minute. Man friend sounds sweet. So who does Ds look like? Do you think he'll have dd2's gawgeous eyes??????

I think DS looks like me. From certain angles he resembles his dad, maybe because of the overall shape of his face, but for the most part I think he looks more like me. And he's definitely going to have brown eyes. His eyes are already dark, but kind of a blackish-grey. I think they're going to develop into the same brown color I have. And he's got a load of brown hair, and he came out kind of tan. I'm thinking he drew pretty strongly from the Puerto Rican part of the gene pool!

Anyway, here are pictures of him and me for comparison. You be the judge!