Explaining Returned Gifts

M0ON

What do you say when someone comes to visit & notices that their gift has been returned?

Obviously for clothes & little things, it's easy enough to say "Oh, its around here somewhere" or "Oh, its in the laundry".

But what about large items like a walker, a bathtub, a highchair...?

greengirl0909

How about, "Oh, we got two and this one fit our needs better?"  Although I'll admit, no one has ever asked me. I did have one of DH's aunts be real weird about her gift, but we had kept it.....

dragon_chica

Happy_Yahoo_Personaler:

Have people actually been rude enough to ask you that?  Wow...<shakes head>

This.  Would you be able to say that it's at the grandparent's?

natalie202

Honestly, nobody's ever asked me that. If you're okay with a white lie and think that's your best bet with the particular individual, I'd go with the grandparents thing. I also think it's fine to just be honest, while making sure to convey gratitude. Something like "Oh! We ended up receiving three high chairs, so it made sense to return two. We adored the one you purchased, as it had the cutest pattern, but in the end, we decided this one met our needs best because it fits well in our limited space. We used the money to purchase our bouncer, which has been a life saver, and we're so grateful we have that too!"

BeckyTheEngineer

Have you already returned a walker, highchair, and bathtub? If so, was the reason because you got 2? Then just say that. Was the reason you didn't like them, and are using something else? Then say that.

I really would not lie about it. If you were that concerned about hurting feelings, you wouldn't have returned that person's gift. It would be pretty awkward to get caught lying about returning a duplicate gift.

kennazebrowsky

I have never had anyone ask nor have anyone pay that close attention to something like that

[Deleted User]

Did you register? I'm sure people won't even notice if you returned something and if they do notice and care...they're weird.  

M0ON

What about in laws though?

Let's say your MIL buys a walker. You have no intention of using one, so you return it for store credit & buy something else entirely.

In this case, the duplicates excuse won't work, and it's a big enough item that MIL would notice that it isn't anywhere in sight.

For the sake of argument, let's assume that the MIL is absolutely the type who would ask about it, and be offended upon finding out that it was returned.

Monkeybutt80

M0ON:

What about in laws though?

Let's say your MIL buys a walker. You have no intention of using one, so you return it for store credit & buy something else entirely.

In this case, the duplicates excuse won't work, and it's a big enough item that MIL would notice that it isn't anywhere in sight.

For the sake of argument, let's assume that the MIL is absolutely the type who would ask about it, and be offended upon finding out that it was returned.

 

how about,  "(baby name) wasn't big on using walkers and we really needed ___ so we went and returned it and got ___ instead.  and (baby name) really loves it!" 

 

SingleMom31

My bought us like 10 newborn outfits, including several not my style. I returned most of them. She actually did ask since she never saw them in pictures. I was thrown, said something about them being here somewhere, and then purposefully dressed her in the others for the next batch of pictures. Awkward to say the least.

Disneygeek77

A walker ?

Maybe say it was recalled or that you read they aren't safe ???

I really don't know.  That is a tough position to be in.

[Deleted User]

M0ON:

What about in laws though?

Let's say your MIL buys a walker. You have no intention of using one, so you return it for store credit & buy something else entirely.

In this case, the duplicates excuse won't work, and it's a big enough item that MIL would notice that it isn't anywhere in sight.

For the sake of argument, let's assume that the MIL is absolutely the type who would ask about it, and be offended upon finding out that it was returned.

Well...if you know your MIL is going to make a big deal out of it...then just keep it.  Maybe keep it in the box and if she asks about it, then set it up.  If not, just wait and then take it back eventually.

wittyschaffy

I think if people are rude enough to ask about a gift, you shouldn't feel bad about telling them the truth.

sschwege

M0ON:

What about in laws though?

Let's say your MIL buys a walker. You have no intention of using one, so you return it for store credit & buy something else entirely.

In this case, the duplicates excuse won't work, and it's a big enough item that MIL would notice that it isn't anywhere in sight.

For the sake of argument, let's assume that the MIL is absolutely the type who would ask about it, and be offended upon finding out that it was returned.

I would just say something like, "It was so nice of you to get us the walker, but we were concerned that we might not get as much use out of it as we would (insert whatever you bought instead)." 

BeckyTheEngineer

M0ON:

What about in laws though?Let's say your MIL buys a walker. You have no intention of using one, so you return it for store credit amp; buy something else entirely.In this case, the duplicates excuse won't work, and it's a big enough item that MIL would notice that it isn't anywhere in sight. For the sake of argument, let's assume that the MIL is absolutely the type who would ask about it, and be offended upon finding out that it was returned.

So is this something that actually happened, or is this whole scenario hypothetical? Are you trying to say that you already returned a walker, and now you are realizing that your MIL may notice? Honestly, if you were concerned about making her feel like you appreciated her gift, you would have held onto it.

But if you already returned it, can't you just tell the truth if she brings it up? Tell her that you didn't plan on using a walker, but were able to exchange it for whatever else you bought with the credit.

M0ON

BeckyTheEngineer:

M0ON:

What about in laws though?Let's say your MIL buys a walker. You have no intention of using one, so you return it for store credit amp; buy something else entirely.In this case, the duplicates excuse won't work, and it's a big enough item that MIL would notice that it isn't anywhere in sight. For the sake of argument, let's assume that the MIL is absolutely the type who would ask about it, and be offended upon finding out that it was returned.

So is this something that actually happened, or is this whole scenario hypothetical? Are you trying to say that you already returned a walker, and now you are realizing that your MIL may notice? Honestly, if you were concerned about making her feel like you appreciated her gift, you would have held onto it. But if you already returned it, can't you just tell the truth if she brings it up? Tell her that you didn't plan on using a walker, but were able to exchange it for whatever else you bought with the credit.

I just don't agree with the mentality that you should hold onto something just because it was a gift- especially large items. If you live in a big house with ample room, maybe, but otherwise, why sacrifice valuable storage space for someone else's feelings?

So, I posted this looking for ways of politely explaining myself- without lying, because that's not something I'm willing to do. I really like the approach that you and others have suggested: saying that we hadn't planned to use a walker, and mentioning how useful/fun/whatever the replacement item is.

Who knows, maybe I'll get lucky and she won't say anything at all. I just like to be prepared.

Thank you everyone for your helpful answers!

ArgyleBride

M0ON:

I just don't agree with the mentality that you should hold onto something just because it was a gift- especially large items. If you live in a big house with ample room, maybe, but otherwise, why sacrifice valuable storage space for someone else's feelings?

So, I posted this looking for ways of politely explaining myself- without lying, because that's not something I'm willing to do. I really like the approach that you and others have suggested: saying that we hadn't planned to use a walker, and mentioning how useful/fun/whatever the replacement item is.

Who knows, maybe I'll get lucky and she won't say anything at all. I just like to be prepared.

Thank you everyone for your helpful answers!

 

While I agree you shouldn't have to keep it, I would warn you away from the honesty tactic.  When someone hates your gift, their being honest about it doesn't make anything better.  Think of it this way--why is the fact that you don't want a walker such an important truth that denying it would be a sin? Isn't respect for the giver's feelings a greater virtue?  Extolling the virtues of what you swapped it for is not polite and could really sting.  Granted, it shouldn't come up, as no reasonably polite person would inquire.  Nevertheless, I would lie, lie, lie--recalled, broken, being borrowed, at your parents' house, whatever.  BUT since you won't lie, here is an out for you: do not return it, donate it.  Then you can say you knew someone whose need was greater, and just knew she'd do the same thing in your place.  Or if your parents do have room, really do keep it there.