Blended Families
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So guess who's fault it is we're not seeing SD?
For those of you just tuning in, my H cheated on me back in the fall and he recently confessed. For our own personal reasons we're still living together except H has been sleeping in the basement. We are doing marriage counseling, but things are rough because he doesn't seem to get that I need more time to deal.
Ok. Now that that's out, onto my present situation. Yesterday we were putting an ac unit in the baby's room. This is also SD's room when she's here. SD hasn't visited since Easter weekend, and I've been organizing some of my stuff, using her bed as a catch all. I ask H when she's coming next so that I can make sure all my stuff is out of the room by then. He says he "doesn't think it's a good idea she come right now". I got the unspoken message that it's because I won't let him sleep in my bed. He told BM he's busy, and that's why he can't take her. I think he's being an ahole. I hope BM doesn't think it's my fault. Ugh.
Ok. Now that that's out, onto my present situation. Yesterday we were putting an ac unit in the baby's room. This is also SD's room when she's here. SD hasn't visited since Easter weekend, and I've been organizing some of my stuff, using her bed as a catch all. I ask H when she's coming next so that I can make sure all my stuff is out of the room by then. He says he "doesn't think it's a good idea she come right now". I got the unspoken message that it's because I won't let him sleep in my bed. He told BM he's busy, and that's why he can't take her. I think he's being an ahole. I hope BM doesn't think it's my fault. Ugh.
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Re: So guess who's fault it is we're not seeing SD?
He's full of BS. Tell him to not blame not seeing SD on you. If he's so concerned about SD not seeing that he's sleeping in the basement, then he can go to bed after she does and wake up before she does. Easy.
T&Ps your way. I hope he starts giving you the understanding that you need.
ODS knows he sleeps down there though... It's pretty obvious if you have to go down there at all. Plus, SD sometimes wakes up in the middle of the night, looking for daddy.
I think two things. One is that he's using this as an excuse because having three kids isn't always easy. Two is that he doesn't want this info to get back to BM or his FOO, who we are mutually CO from. Doesn't stop him from being a douchecanoe though. Thanks for the T and P. I think I've decided what I'm going to do. I'll need all the support I can get.
I admit, I did almost ask him to leave yesterday. I know that I have a right to stay here, but I don't know for how long. See, he's the service member and I'm the civilian. I can't afford to be out of this house yet, and I don't want to use up my free time that I get to stay here. Does that make sense? Say I get 2 months. I'm not sure I can afford something two months from now. If I can wait til next month though, then I'd have more time. Not sure if I'm making sense or not..
Probably???
Get another husband. This one is broken.
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They can make him live in the barracks/on the ship while things are sorted out. Also, he's supposed to give you a certain amount of his check if you separate until the divorce decree/separation agreement says otherwise.
Have you spoken to JAG yet?
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Oh I'm sorry. I thought we were talking about American military. Ooops.
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It's all good. I know most of the active people here are American.