Happy "First" Mothers Day...

JulyMomma2U2

Though I know everyone who keeps saying this exact phrase to me "means" well, it just reminds me how few people in my life recognize my "losses".

Today is a bittersweet day, as it is for many of us, I'm sure.. as I laid in bed last night thinking about how blessed I am to have DS with me, and hopefully another DS joining us in 10 weeks, I'm also reminded of my 2 babies I never had the chance to hold. 

Hugs to all those receiving the "Happy First Mother's Day" comments.. of course we take them with a smile and say thank you, but I'm sure many of you also feel that "sting" in your heart at the same time.. 

crystalknpp

I've been feeling the exact same way. I have 4 babies that I may have never met but they are still my children. It's a tough comment to get.

mork

As nice as it was to actually be recognized publicly as a mother this year, that "first" crap still stings. My first Mother's Day was twenty years ago, right after my first loss.

Happy Mother's Day everyone, this year and every year before this you may have been denied the recognition. 

ChloBub

Yes, I got that comment so many times yesterday, and I got choked up every time but just smiled sadly and said "thank you." It definitely stung. 

krwact

I just wrote an essay about this because it bothered me so much.  Maybe I'll post it here.

JulyMomma2U2

TMaggie0424:

Yup my sister said it, one of my best friends said and even DH said it.  I didn't say anything to the first 2 but DH I told him - no it's not my first and left it alone.  I didn't feel like getting into it.  Sigh.

That sucks about DH saying it, too

I've been very fortunate that my DH has always acknowledged me on Mother's day.. my first loss occurred long before I even knew DH, but for the first few years we were together, he would always get me a card and some flowers to acknowledge my LO.  I'm very thankful for him.

My younger sister, who's 20, must have said this to me a dozen times.. "How's your first mother's day", "DH, what did you get her for her FIRST Mother's day?", etc, etc, etc.  And, MIL even e-mailed me this morning asking me how my "first" mother's day was.  

Also -- to the above PP (because I don't know how to multi-quote!!) -- would love to read your essay