Having a hard time

Reilly626

I took the year off to raise my twins and while the beginning was tough I just love it! I'm also a primary teacher so teaching them is the best! But I'm already having anxiety about sending them to daycare at the end of August. I feel like a failure to them for having to send them there and work. I have to work, I have a good job and I was so lucky to have a year with them but it doesn't stop these thoughts popping in my head that I'm a terrible mom for leaving them with strangers all day. And it's care not love, who will cuddle them? Can anyone offer advice to help me get my mind right? It's really stressing me out and while I'm trying to savor the days left there's moments I cry.

JessAnnJ

I think you acknowledge that a year off is more that a lot of people. Also, at least from what I have heard from other people with twins, they will have each other which helps.

Anyway, I went back a month ago when my daughter was four months old. I cried a lot before going back to work and felt a lot of what you describe. What I've learned since then is that the anticipation is worse than actually going back. I got used to the routine pretty quickly. While I get less time with my daughter I appreciate the time when I am with her a lot more and my attention is more focused. Also, even though my LO is still much younger than yours, she benefits from having different interactions in daycare. I also benefit from the adult interaction. Yes, I wish I could work less, I think a half day schedule would be perfect, but it is not as bad as you think it will be. It helped me to send her to daycare for two half days before I started work and to the extent you can have someone else drop them off the first couple days that might make the process easier. Good luck.

Reilly626

JessAnnJ:

I think you acknowledge that a year off is more that a lot of people. Also, at least from what I have heard from other people with twins, they will have each other which helps.

Anyway, I went back a month ago when my daughter was four months old. I cried a lot before going back to work and felt a lot of what you describe. What I've learned since then is that the anticipation is worse than actually going back. I got used to the routine pretty quickly. While I get less time with my daughter I appreciate the time when I am with her a lot more and my attention is more focused. Also, even though my LO is still much younger than yours, she benefits from having different interactions in daycare. I also benefit from the adult interaction. Yes, I wish I could work less, I think a half day schedule would be perfect, but it is not as bad as you think it will be. It helped me to send her to daycare for two half days before I started work and to the extent you can have someone else drop them off the first couple days that might make the process easier. Good luck.

Thank you for your reply. I think your comment about the anticipation being worse is probably true. I am starting them a full week earlier, 2 half days then 3 full, good advice. Thank you.

thedash

Most women on here will tell you that their DCP's do give their LO's love. Think of how you feel about the kids you teach each year. It's a lot more than a duty, you have genuine care and affection for your kids after just a short time together. Someone will feel the exact same way about your twins, probably even more because I'm sure they are totally adorable and awesome!

I really like that DS has multiple people in his life who care about him and teach him things.

pitterpatter129

I think some of this might be unique to teachers of young children.   I always feel very badly about leaving my own children at daycare so I can go to work to take care of other people's children; almost like I traded mine for 20 others.  And someone who takes long maternity leaves, has summers off, and chooses to spend all day with small children is usually someone who would enjoy being a SAHM.   The good news is that I still LOVE my job and my kid likes daycare. An entire room of toys and other kids all day, plus very few rules because everything is kid proof - what's not to love? He has a blast.

laurakaz13

Not one of DD's teachers is a stranger and they don't just provide care. They LOVE her and she LOVES them. You are looking at daycare in a negative light. Honestly, I see nothing but positives about it and it has been wonderful for us and DD. I understand how it could be hard to go back to work after a year, you say you "have to". In what way does supporting your family make you a failure? If you put your family in the poor house b/c you didn't work when you needed to, that would make you a failure. Done with the tough love. You will be fine. It gets easier.

Manda-Kay

I found a daycare who treats DS like his one of their own.  I can tell they truly care about him and love him.  DS is so happy there.  When I drop him off, he gets so excited to see them.  This is so comforting.  I'm a teacher too.  Being a teacher and a mom is the best!

Reilly626

pitterpatter129:

I think some of this might be unique to teachers of young children. :nbsp; I always feel very badly about leaving my own children at daycare so I can go to work to take care of other people's children; almost like I traded mine for 20 others.nbsp; And someone who takes long maternity leaves, has summers off, and chooses to spend all day with small children is usually someone who would enjoy being a SAHM. ;nbsp; The good news is that I still LOVE my job and my kid likes daycare. An entire room of toys and other kids all day, plus very few rules because everything is kid proof what's not to love? He has a blast.

Wow! That really helped me! I totally agree! Thanks so much!