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Working Moms
Giving my 7 yo a NEW nickname
Hello All,
I am new to this forum and I am seeking advice. I have a lovely little boy who is 7. At around the time he was 5 months old I began calling him Bubba to differentiate him from his father because they share the same name. I recognize the name "Bubba" as a cutesy playful nickname that we have adapted into Bubs or Bubby. As a result EVERYONE in the family calls him Bubba or some variation. No one calls him his actual name only his teachers and classmates. Unfortunately my husband and son are "blessed" with a name that is non traditional and my son recently complained to me that his first and middle names sounded like girls names. I was ALWAYS worried he might one day feel this way which is why I pleaded with my husband to let us make the first name into the middle name and name him something fresh, but hubby was firm! Now my son is stuck with the name, Lateef Ishola. Which is Arabic I believe and apparently means: kind or nice. I think it's a fine virtue but..... for a boy, names don't traditionally start with La. Plus there are other negative things such as the letters being switched around to spell LaFEET. I think as a mom I have been a good sport and I apologize if I offend anyone who either has this name or has given it to their child. The thing is he still needs a nickname to differentiate him in our household, I would like to phase out Bubba for a name that can transition to school if he so chooses. My name is Abigail spelled: Abygayle but everyone and I mean EVERYONE calls me Abby. So nicknames are important. I have been considering the name Leif for his new nickname and since it's a real name it can follow him through life if he so chooses. I like that its almost like his real name but, sounds less harsh if you remove the A and the T. The problem is, I wish I had thought of it sooner! Do you all think its too late to give someone a new moniker at 7? Especially when many of the people in his life call him Lateef and the rest call him Bubba?
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Re: Giving my 7 yo a NEW nickname
I would definitely phase out bubba/bubsy.
I think you can call your son whatever nickname you want but whether it sticks is kind of up to everyone else and I wouldn't start, like, writing it on his backpack until you figure out whether it's taking hold.
Honestly, I don't think Lateef is feminine, or anymore tease-worthy than other names. But I get that it's confusing for him to have the same name as his dad.
At 7 it seems like DS should be involved in the decision. You could bring it up over dinner one day -- "bubba is kind of a little boy nickname, but it's confusing to call you Lateef when that's daddy's name too. What do you think I should yell when I need you to come in from playing outside? Lief? Teef? Lee? Lat? L2? Ish? Shole?" and then just let him and DH brainstorm with you from there.
I don't think his name sounds feminine. My dh's name ends with an a and it is masculine name in his language. I would phase out bubba. I call ds baba/bubba and I am beginning to phase it out because it means baby in dh's language. I agree with the pp about nicknames changing and that your ds should have input in what you call him at home.
I wouldn't change his name or try to eliminate letters to make it easier. He has a good name and, if he wants, he can make the decision to legally change it later in life.
I'd call him Lee (LI) for his initials. The three of you should come up with a new nickname together.
Bubba's cute but if you keep it, it will for sure follow him into adult life and that might not be such a good thing. Once you decide on a nickname and every still uses Bubba I think you, the mama, need to correct people and tell them Bubb?'s out and he's decided on a new nickname.
According to thinkbabynames.com:
Lateef l(a)-
teef as a boy's name is a variant of Latif (Arabic), and the meaning of Lateef is "gentle, kind".Read more at https://www.thinkbabynames.com/meaning/1/Lateef#MRMM3hjfGPdrhpfP.99
My husband is half Nigerian this is a popular name in Nigerian culture. Lateef Sr. (hubby) was named by his father whose own name is Salami. FIL asked us to name our son Salami, after him upon reuniting after 19 years. We said no. The name itself is not awful and it has a wonderful meaning. I just wanted something different for my son. In choosing a new nickname I'm hoping to finally be able to make peace with the name.
This is what I was actually thinking too.
OP-- I would honestly ask your DS how he feels about his name. & is old enough to have an opinion. Maybe he likes his name and would like to be called his formal name, or perhaps he is OK with Bubba. I actually think Bubba is kind of endearing.
Anyway-- good luck!
BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12
I'm sure Master's tournament winner Bubba Watson doesn't mind being called Bubba. But I'm from Oklahoma where if you told someone your name was Bubba Watson no one would really think twice about it.
Latif or Lateef is a perfectly nice name. It's not feminine and that's an ignorance his classmates will need to get over. LaDainian Tomlinson's (NFL running back) name is not feminine just because it starts with a La. I'm full of these examples because I feel like this is the kind of thing a 7 year old could really be impressed by.
I think Leif is doing a disservice to the heritage of his name and makes him sound more Viking.
Lee, if anything, is your best bet if you insist on switching it up.
I like Bubba too. Makes me think of Bubba Watson-which is a good thing!
OK Ladies I'd like to try and respond to a couple of things some of you have said. Also I don't understand some of the terms you are using "nn" "ds" I'm new here so I haven't picked up on the shorthand yet.
Anyhow I'm am sure many people in our family will continue to call him Bubba his older sister refers to him as "Bubby" and will probably be offended by any proposed change to her little brother's nickname. I don't call him Lateef as that is his father's name I grew up in a family with a senior and a jr. My dad was Rick while my brother was Rickey that is how we differentiated whom my mother was calling to. The name Lateef has obvious names it can be shortened into Tee, Teef, LT. I was trying to get creative and think up something new so I thought the name Leif which I would pronounce like Leaf because it rhymes with Teef so I felt it would be an appropriate nickname choice. My son's name is NOT legally Bubba it is simply a nickname just like Leif would be. I do know the derivation, I posted it. No I have never been fond of his given name and as he is getting older he is becoming self conscious. I can enlighten him as this comes up and I do but I wanted him to have another option for school and in life I would never tell him that something is wrong with his name but I also do not want him to feel embarrassed about it either.
I like the idea of involving your ds in picking a new name. I'm not super fond of Leif, but that's not for me to decide. I have worked with several surgeons named Latif and they were all male. I actually like Latif, Lateef.
As far as Bubba goes, as you already know it will probably stick around. My hubby was named the same as his dad and given the nn Bubba... he hates it and is still called it today, his nieces and nephews even call him Uncle Bubba. Good luck.
I think the idea to bring your son into the discussion is a good one. Don't worry about which name the women on here like or don't like or think sounds ethnically different, etc... find something that your son is comfortable with and also you and your husband (how does he feel about this whole thing?). While Lateef doesn't necessarily sound feminine to the adults on this board, I can totally see a 7 yr old boy getting sensitive about it and wanting something different. My middle name was my mom's maiden name, which happens to also be a man's name & I appreciated it as an adult but as a kid when other kids found out what it was they would tease me so I hated telling it. It's just what kids do, not the end of the world for me since it was my middle name!
I would propose all different options first to your H and see if he has major opposition to any of them (it's his own name & his family name after all, I think he should be part of the discussion too) and then give your son some options & ask if he can think of anything else he'd like to be called.
As for Bubby/Bubba- I actually call my 4 yr old son that also, it came out of calling him buddy and though I may phase it out over time, I might just use it only in really affectionate at home terms...I don't find anything wrong iwth that in certain circumstances but it is not a name anyone but me calls him, so different than your situation. I know lots of siblings htat call their sibs some childhood nickname at home but they get the social implications & don't really use it outside the home. It'll take time but something new will catch on.
As for the ppl who felt the need to comment on the derivation of the word & offer nothing helpful, ignore them- it was b/c you said "i think" before arabic and it is no big deal...