still waiting

NDSalesGirl

We are still watiing for the test results (why are they taking so long)! but recieved a letter today from BM's attorney stating that she will only let us take ss for 2 of the 3 months we are supose to get him. stating" DH is not being reasonable to BM insisting that BM does not get time with SS this summer. She will not be delivering SS to DH on xxxx at xxx if Dh does not agree to this. Attorney, I want your cooperation in this matter. There is absolutely no reason for DH to disagree and no prejudice to DH. I mean is there some logical reason that BM cannot have this time. I also believe that BM has been anything but flexible with DH. why do you say differently? my view is that if BM really does want to suppport DH's relationship with SS as long as there is no danger to SS."

Um danger to SS? Plus the custody order states when we get ss down to the day after school is out and time to 7 days before school starts and time. Why does she not have to follow the Custody papers. Ugg. Plus her being reasonable in giving DH access to SS. She does not even let us Skype or call at the times that are set in the Custody agreement. Plus she knows that DH cannot take off time during end of the month mid week to have him back by July 31. Ugg, I hate to hope for the worst so we get ss, but I'm to that point with all her dramatics.

 

bebe11

Can you call the doctor for an update?

NDSalesGirl

They have nothing yet I"m guessing this is a ploy because she already knows something we do not.

SimpleJane

You have a lawyer right? Obviously depending on the outcome of tests this may not even matter, she may lose visitation if SS does indeed have genital herpes..... If the test is negative I would have your lawyer respond in a letter stating that the CO says XYZ and if it is not followed by BM she will be served with contempt of court. If she would like to change the CO she may apply for a review of the custody agreement, otherwise it is illegal to withhold visitation.

twister22

wendilea:

Get an attorney if you don't already have one.  At this point, it is just a threat, but she's trying to intimidate you into not taking full visitation.  Saying she won't meet him unless he agrees to her terms is a scare tactic.  Your attorney should reply stating that per the CO, visitation is to be XX to XX and you will not be waivering from that.  If she does not bring the child to the appointed meeting spot, you will file contempt charges.

I would also have your attorney contact the doctor's office tomorrow.  WTF?  It doesn't take a week for a blood test result.

All of this. T&Ps your way. 

NDSalesGirl

DH just got off the phone with the Doctors office. It is herpies, but it is the strain that causes cold sores. The Doctor has to report this to Child Services, and he is going to recomend that there is an investigation into how a young child who's parents have never had cold sores or herpies, and has never gone to daycare would have this. DH is beyond pissed. How could BM think this is acceptable and not let him know. Our guess is she already knew this, and that is why she is trying to stop our visitation now, becuase she wants to get back at us, but this is something that needed to be looked into. This will still change SS's life, he will need to be more diligent on washing his hands, and know about the risks as he gets older and sexually active. The doctor's office is going to send us information for SS and for us to know so it does not spread to others (no swimming pools or sharing bath tubs with other's while he has an outbreak for example), and how stress could cause an out break. The doctor is recomending to the Child Services that SS needs to be in a stress free home, and we already have documentation from his teachers this year (he is in first grade) that when he first started school (5 days after we brought him back) he was polite, happy, listened, clean, and played well with others. The teachers could tell a difference the longer it had been since we had him, because all of this disappeared. He then was the same little polite, happy boy after Christmas break. Hopefully the Judge will take all of this into consideration.

NDSalesGirl

Apparenty BM does not think it is serious, becuase she just sent Dh a text message stating "I told you that there was nothing wrong with SS and we were just grapsing at straws" really nothing wrong?! After looking at the the dates of when SS would be returned per the current CO she is actually fighting us for 4 days, with one of them being drive time. Really?!  4 Days?! Wow.

Amanda88

Thoughts and prayers to you guys. I hope things work out for the better for SS. 

ETA: I'd report the doctor that didn't want to "cause trouble" for BM. He should have done the test when this began, and as a mandatory reporter he should have filed a report with CPS. As a doctor he should be objective and not let personal relations interfere with his judgement. 

NDSalesGirl

wendilea:

Amanda has an excellent suggestion.  Here's how you file a complaint about an Iowa doctor: 

https://medicalboard.iowa.gov/services/ComplaintForm.html

 

Thanks! we were planning to ask our attorney how to do this.

irishgirl0525

I'm so sorry about the results and how this will affect your son for the rest of his life.

I am astounded at the response of BM.  She is delusional.  I sincerely hope that you are able to get to the bottom of what happened and that you SS is able to come and live with you and get whatever help he needs. 

bebe11

NDSalesGirl:

Apparenty BM does not think it is serious, becuase she just sent Dh a text message stating "I told you that there was nothing wrong with SS and we were just grapsing at straws" really nothing wrong?! After looking at the the dates of when SS would be returned per the current CO she is actually fighting us for 4 days, with one of them being drive time. Really?!  4 Days?! Wow.

She is really ignorant, isn't she?  The way I would understand this, is that someone with a cold sore in their mouth would of had to have direct contact with your SS genitals. I am not a doctor, but I think something like this is a skin to skin type of disease.

SimpleJane

wendilea:

HSV1 can cause sores in the genital area and infections of the mouth
and lips, socalled fever blisters. HSV1 infection of the genitals
is caused by mouth to genital or genital to genital contact with a
person who has HSV1 infection.https://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/stdfactherpes.htmI asked my boss she's a nurse in addition to a Vet if there was any other way to get HSV1 on the genitals, and gave the background of the anal bleeding.nbsp; She said she's never seen a case that WASN'T sexual abuse. I can't believe the child is still in his mother's custody.nbsp; Once CPS gets the doctor's report, he should be removed immediately.nbsp;nbsp; Then you won't have to worry about BM's stupid 4 day issue.nbsp; When you do get him, please start him in therapy.

This is true. I have no doubt that little boy is being abused. How the hell is it possible he is still with his mother?!

SueBear

I am so sorry.  At least now you know the situation and can move forward.  Hopefully you can get full custody of SS and keep him safe.