Birthday Parties

sschwege

I was talking to my neighbor a couple of days ago and she was saying how expensive birthday parties have become.  She says she has started doing birthday parties once every three years because it ends up costing so much, she said like $400.  It was kind of depressing to listen to her talk about it.  I mean when I was a kid, you invited a few neighbors over or close friends, played some games, ate some cake and that was it.  Is this just the way it is now?  You invite the entire class or at least all the girls/boys from the class?  Plus then you are getting invited to everyone else's birthdays right?  So then you have to purchase gifts for everyone.  How do people handle this?  DD won't be in school for at least another year, but I'm just thinking ahead.  

Lulobug22

We go all out. My house isn't good for parties since our yard is a little on the small side. We haven't invited "school" friends yet but my kiddos have so many friends already and cousins that I couldn't imagine adding a class full to the list! Ds1 had 25 kids including himself and ds2 at his party in March.

74dragonfly

DD had her first party this year. She had seven friends at a chucky cheese type place. Personally I think inviting the entire class is too many kids for that age.
We also only attend parties of kids DD is close too.
Do what you think is best. At this age kids don't care. I'm sure in s few years they will have more opinoions.

honeybee111

We have a lot of friends who have young kids DD's age, so we're already on that birthday party train.  With 20 kids in DD's preschool class, I don't see us inviting her whole class to her birthday party.  We have been invited to 2 classmate's parties, and we declined because we don't  know the parents, DD doesn't seem to hang out with the kid, etc.  I'm hoping to keep things manageable by just inviting kids DD is close to.

shannm

We started having "parties" last year for DS when he turned four.  Having people at my house is very stressful for me so we choose to go somewhere.  That is where the big cost is.  The sites that we have booked have been about $250.  We do invite his entire class and a couple of other friends but not everyone comes so it was about 13 kids last year and probably 15-16 this year.  

I do not intend on doing it this way every birthday.  I imagine as he gets older and has a closer set of friends that we will probably do some cozier parties as well.

As for gifts, many parties that we go to have been no gift parties or alternatives like book exchange parties.  When we do buy gifts, I usually choose something under 15-20 bucks.  As a recipient, I am totally fine with my son being given something small.  Actually prefer it.  Like a book or activity book, or a new thing of stickers.   

AmericanInOz

I think this whole invite the whole class thing is stupid

we invite the kids dd is friends with, and that's it

It's up to the parent to decide how 'all out' to go on a party

we just have her friends, and our friends with kids over & food & cake

and I plan on doing the same when she's in school - I don't want to get stuck into hainvg to go to a bday party nearly every weekend just cause they are in her class.

shopgirl78

Most of our parties are $250-300 dollars.  We did spend $600 on a waterpark birthday party last year BUT combined DD and DS1's parties (so almost the same). My DD's birthday is during the summer, so don't usually invite school friends.  The few times we have invited the entire class, usually only a few come.  

DD has been invited to 3 classmates parties this year (only made it to 2 parties though).   

DS1 has been invited to 4-5.  

iumegan716

We did family parties for 1st & 2nd birthdays, which were small and cheap.  For DS's 3rd, we did a combined friend & family party at Gymboree.  His birthday is in November and our house isn't big enough to accommodate a party.  It cost $150 to rent out Gymboree.  I bought decorations and snacks too.  We didn't invite any of his daycare friends because he had just switched daycares right before his party. 

He was just invited to his first daycare party last month (the girl turned 4).  It was at a church gym and there tons of people there-- probably 40 or so.  I spent about $15 on the gift.  

If we do his party at Gymboree again this year, then we'll likely invite his whole class.  But, we are moving next month, and the new house could accommodate a small group of friends and family so we may do that instead, which would be much cheaper obviously. 

shannm

AmericanInOz:

I think this whole invite the whole class thing is stupid

we invite the kids dd is friends with, and that's it

I'm all for that but how do you know who your two year old is "friends" with?  I have a hard enough time figuring out who DS plays with at school each day.  He has one best friend but then seems to spend time with everyone else as well throughout the year.  I would hate to hurt someone's feelings and I don't mind inviting everyone.  If I couldn't afford it, I wouldn't do it. No big deal.  We have had some great low key birthday family dinners as well. 

AmericanInOz

shannm:

AmericanInOz:

I think this whole invite the whole class thing is stupid

we invite the kids dd is friends with, and that's it

I'm all for that but how do you know who your two year old is "friends" with?  I have a hard enough time figuring out who DS plays with at school each day.  He has one best friend but then seems to spend time with everyone else as well throughout the year.  I would hate to hurt someone's feelings and I don't mind inviting everyone.  If I couldn't afford it, I wouldn't do it. No big deal.  We have had some great low key birthday family dinners as well. 

yes my dd has 1 'best' friend who she spends all her time with at daycare so it's easy this time around : the rest of her friends are kids of my friends

smilejenn

$400 seems a bit high, but I see that you are from Chicago, so that could be about right! I'm in Florida and I'd say $250-300 is our median price when having a party outside of your house.

This year we invited my son's entire VPK class. I know all of them won't show up, but I'd say half of the children also invited the entire class to their parties, and my son wanted to do the same. Kids spend 3-5 days a week with their school friends, so it's only natural that they will want to invite at least some of them. Often, they see these friends more than their neighborhood friends or children of their parent's friends.

I noticed a comment from a parent who doesn't go to birthday parties unless she personally knows the parent. I used to feel this way, but as our children get older, likely starting in kindergarten or earlier if your preschool does car line where there is little parent-to-parent interaction, there will be many birthday party invites where you won't know the parents. I think it's just something we have to get used to doing. 

As for how to budget for birthday party gifts, I keep an eye on toy clearance sales and pick things up for 70% off, especially at the big toy sales twice a year. Imaginext toys work great for boys at this age, and I have a little stock pile that we use for birthday parties. 

ryry1977

I thought I went all out for parties...but I don't spend near $400.  I like to use pintrest and make lots of decor for the party theme.  Yes, I love the themes   I don't think you have to do that at all though.  Just having friends over for cake and ice cream is good.  Playing around and having fun!  No goodie bags, no crazy decor, no tons of food for everyone.  Just a simple party, maybe some balloons...all that is needed

jlw2505

You spend what you can and invite who you want.  I hate all class parties as they are just too overwhelming.  I have spent anywhere from $100 to $300 on parties and typically end up someplace in the middle and we have 10-15 (counting my 2 kids).  My DD 7th bday party coming up is at the house with 9-10 kids total (counting my two).  I spent $60 on crafts and we will order pizza and have cupcakes so $100-$150 total I am guessing depending on how much we spend on the pizza (looking for coupons!!!).  The craft is a pillow case that the kids will decorate so I spent $60 on 10 of those plus $10-$20 on markers.  We will make 2 boxes of cupcakes and have frosting and stuff for the kids to decorate with and then order a few pizza's and call it a day.  Did my 5 year olds party at a skating rink - cost was around $150 for the 10 or so kids and it included lunch.  I spend about $2 per child on the goody bag I put together and then whatever I spent on the cake (made a Barbie cake).  The Pump It Up parties cost me the most and ended up at around $300.

LoCarb

I prefer to have parties at venues all inclusive to reduce my stress. Yes, they are expensive. I'm thankful I can do combo parties for the girls.

WestCoastMommy

I love doing birthday parties for my kids and tend to go all out. DS is 5 in June and DD is a little over 2 and their parties average about $500 just for the party and about $100 for a gift. I plan months in advance so by the birthday month everything has been paid for. My mom did the same for us as kids so I think its in my blood. To be honest, if we don't have the money we don't do a big party. Simple as that. 

I am also not a fan of inviting the whole class. Our kids parties are pretty much all family and close friends with maybe a couple class mate friends if any.  

miniko

We go all out for DS parties.  I look forward to planning it.  This year it's pretty expensive we chartered a pirate ship.  It's going to be a lot of fun.  His school requires that you invite everyone in class but with a 45 person limit I invited some kids and we're below numbers which is fine because it's a small boat.  

 You don't have to spend a ton of money.  One of his friends had a bowling party and she bought groupons for the lanes, then ordered pizza and drinks.  She had to serve it herself but it was really inexpensive.  Kids don't care.  They all had a good time.  

If our backyard was large enough for a bounce house and/or we had a pool I would do home parties.