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Working Moms
alisonada
member
Daycare - WWYD (long..)
alisonada
member
in Working Moms
OK, my DD has been going to a small home daycare since she was 10 weeks old. We were planning on sending both her and my new DD upon my return to work in December. But recently I became aware of another option, and there are some appealling things about it, but I am so conflicted if these reasons are reasons to consider switching or not. My DD is very attached to her provider (and the other kids there), and vice versa. Here's the situation:
Current provider:
SAHM, former RN, watches her own two children (ages 4 and 5 - both are gone PT during the school year for pre-school and kindergarten) and one other little boy, age 2 1/2. She has mentioned possibly picking up an additional child in the future but I'm not sure if she actually will. We will be paying her $250/week to watch both kids.
Pros - obviously she knows DD and us very well. We trust her. We're all in a nice "groove" together - she knows our schedule, how we like things done, etc. She lives less than 10 minutes away. Like I said, DD is pretty attached to her and the other kids there. Provider is also very reliable (there's only been 2 times in over a year that she called off) & rarely asks for time off.
Cons - we have to provide our own food for DD (it's a pain). Provider's house is kind of small (it's very nice - nicer than ours - just small) - they have a big yard with swingset, but now that DD is getting older I wonder what they'll do for entertainment during the winter. (They have a small living room and the 2 kids rooms to play in.) I know they look at books and color and stuff but I don't know if much structured "learning" really goes on. There have also been a few little things that have irked me lately. Nothing major, but for example - DD has been constipated so I have asked her to make sure she always has access to sippy cup of water. She says that she does, but DD always comes home acting thirsty and gulps down a whole cup of water or milk.
New Provider:
SAHM, has Masters degree in Social Work and worked in daycare centers for years. Has two children of her own, ages 5 months and 2 years. If she watches our girls that would be it - she would only be watching her two kids and our two kids, none additional. We would pay her $235/week.
Pros - it's a bit cheaper. She would provide food, and we're on the same wavelength as far as what that would be (lots of fruits & veggies, very little "junk"). She has a big finished basement with lots of toys and activities (also has nice fenced in yard) She says that she wants a structured day with storytime, learning, naptime, etc. (but would this really happen with just 2 babies & 2 toddlers?)
Cons - My DD #2 (will be 3 months when I go back to work) would not be the only baby - she would also have her 6 month old. (Do you think this is manageable? I think my DD #1 and the 2 year old would be fine and would probably play well together). She's a bit further from us - 15 or 20 minutes. Obviously the biggest con is the change - we would have to start all over with someone new and I have no doubt that DD would really miss her current provider & situation.
So would you switch? I feel good about this new situation, but I don't know if saving $15/week, a big basement, and not having to provide food are reason enough to change DD #1's whole world. There's nothing really bad about our current situation (if there was this would be an easy choice).
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Daycare - WWYD (long..)
how does your current provider get her 2 kids to/from preschool? does she load up her 2 kids, the boy, and your 2 kids into the car everyday? i'd be concerned about that.
if she has transportation for her own kids, then i'd stay w/ your current provider. i like the fact that your dd#2 is the only infant.
packing food, altho a pita, isn't a deal-breaker imo. as for activities: maybe you can suggest more structured play for the boy and your dd#1
Her kindergartner takes the bus. Her FIL (who lives nearby) transports her son to and from pre-school. There have been a couple times she's had to take my DD to pick him up when FIL couldn't, but she asked us in advance (and we said OK because it's like 1/2 drive mile down back roads). However we've discussed the fact that this will no longer be an option when DD #2 is there, she knows that.
Honestly, I think there is too much emphasis on structured learning before school in today's society. So that one doesn't make a difference to me.
Do you have a reason to not trust your current provider when she tells you that DD has access to water? Other than her being thirsty when she gets home? I don't think that necessarily shines light on not having water...I would guess that she's just thirstier. I know that when I drink more water, I tend to want to drink more water.
I'd stick with #1. I don't see any reason to switch with what you've written. :-)
Tackling the cons that you listed for your current provider:
- Providing your own food: I hear ya there.
If you're otherwise happy with the provider, I don't think there's any reason to switch just for more structure, at least not at Piper's age. There's plenty of time for more structure when she's 3 or 4 or 5 years old; at age 1, don't worry about just letting her be a toddler!
- House is small: Unless it's a dog cage or something, I don't think kids really care
- Unsure of whether there's structured learning going on: You and I have talked about this before
- Little thinks irking you: There will be little things that irk you with any child care situation. The new provider would just have different little things that irk you
As for the new provider, I wouldn't be worried about her handling the 4 kids. After all, most daycares have a 1:4 ratio for infant rooms, and Piper and her older one are far more self-sufficient than infants. Is she on the way to your/DH's work? If not, you'll probably make up the $15/week in extra gas doing drop-offs/pick-ups.
I'm not sure, but I think you may be struggling with the same thing I am. Mia and I met up with one of my friends last night who has a 3.5 year old and a 14 month old. The 3.5 year old was eating trail mix and getting annoyed that Mia was grabbing at it. So my friend told Mia, "Can you say please?" and then turned to me and said, "Does she know how to say please?" No. "Sign please?" No. I guess her 14-month-old (who is way more verbal than Mia in general -- I can't believe how clear some of his words are, compared to hers) can do that. So then I get to thinking, well, if she were in a structured daycare, would she be able to do those things too? Am I holding her back by leaving her in a less structured environment? Should I start looking for something more structured?
But, I mean, by the time her son and Mia start kindergarten, I know that Mia will be able to say "please" too.
Who cares if she can't do it at 16 months? As long as she's having fun and getting exposed to different things and getting lots of love and attention, she's doing just fine. Those are the things that will lay the foundation for a lifelong love of learning -- not learning how to say "please" early in life.
I don't know, maybe I'm reading too much into your post, or superimposing my own struggles onto you. But anyway, that's my two cents, or four cents as the case may be! I would stick with your current provider...
Mommy to DD1 (June 2007), DS (January 2010), DD2 (July 2012), and The Next One (EDD 3/31/2015)
If you were debating between a home daycare and a center, I could see the dilemma. But they are both home daycares, so I don't think the difference is going to be enough to be worth taking your DD from someone you know and trust and with whom she has a great relationship. I really don't see a reason to switch.
If you are really worreid about the structure thing (which I can relate to), then I would look into a preschool program at some point. But think about it - if you were a SAHM, you likely wouldn't even think about preschool till age 3 or 4. So why worry about it now? She is still getting exposure to other kids and learning things that way.
There has to be a reason you looked at this other lady though. So think about that.
Hope that helps a little!
To me, there's not enough benefits to switching to take your daughter away from someone who she's already bonded with. I think it's huge to be able to leave your kids with someone they like and you trust already. You are looking at an adjustment to a new provider, at the least, and you don't have any guarantees that your kids will like the new person (or that you will, ultimately).
But as the pp said, you seem to be looking for a reason to leave so maybe you have a gut feeling or some other reason you want to find someone new?
Have you tried to resolve the problems you have with your current provider? Is the food set in stone or just the way its always been? If you discuss it as something you would like to change, do you think it could change? Even a few days a week. This seems like somehting that can be fixed. Next, as your child grows you should be expecting and having different conversations about the structure of their day. That discussion may be overdue, too. Do you want a curriculm, plan, structured activities? Have you asked for them? What will they do in the small home? How does she expect to use the space she has? How much outdoor time will they get?
Try having a good and open conversation about some changes you'd like to make together. Give her a chance to meet your needs. If she is unwilling or unable, it may make things more clear with someone else. Or it may open up a world of possibilities you didn't even know you had.
Ditto!
I think that is a lot to handle for just one person!
I agree with the others, I don't think there's enough reason to switch. As another poster said, if you were debating between in home and a center I could see the issue, but going from one in home to another really won't be much different. And just because the new lady sounds like it might be better, there are no guarentees. What if you have issues with her? You like the idea of her providing food and you say you're on the same wavelength, but nothing is set in stone. What if she decides to just do easy stuff that is more junk than you want. Like I said, there are no guarentees.
We had a chance to switch our daycare as well. It was 2 centers though and not in home. We decided to stay with our current place. We knew that we liked it there and we trusted the teachers. While the new place sounded nice, we really had no idea how things would work out. We decided why "fix something that isn't broken!" DD already seems to like her teachers and I felt bad enough at the thought of switching her and she is only an infant. I would definitely feel guilty switching an older child unless there were problems at the current place or the new place was going to be 100times better.
pp brought up most of my points. I think the most important thing at this point is the bond. Your DD doesn't care about the extra $15, the packing of the food, etc. She knows that this is someone that she has been with since she was a baby. This is her "place" and she knows it and feels comfortable with it. I think that is far more valuable.
From the items you listed in your post, I think I would stay with the current provider. I agree with PP - there probably isn't as much of a need for structured learning as we think. But you could still bring up the idea of more activities, even maybe plan and provide the supplies. About the food, I know it is a pain to pack, but I think this can also be viewed as a pro because you know what your child is eating. Instead of offering to pay more for her to purchase the food, I would ask if you could pay $10.00 less a week since you are providing the food (for 2 kids eventually). However, the transportation item bothers me a little. What would she do if her FIL can't transport one day, or what if she needs to take the kids somewhere in an emergency. But this issue would be the same at both providers. GL in your choice.