WWYD

Runaway22

Wondering what the other single moms would do...

LO's dad has this habit of "disappearing" for indefinite periods of time, completely unannounced. He hasn't visited LO since March, and I haven't spoken to him in 3 weeks. He won't answer emails, calls or texts. His mom is the same way. I *think* she thinks I got KU on purpose to "trap" her jobless, unreliable son. (Yeah... ok). All I know is she won't speak to me, and advised LO's dad to "go the child support route" when it comes to parenting LO. She has never laid eyes on LO. I told her recently via text that if she ever wants to visit LO or receive any pictures to let me know, and that door is always open to her. She didn't respond, as I expected. 

I get that you can't force anyone to be a decent parent or grandparent. But at the same time, it's so early in the game (LO is only 2 months), I want to do everything within my power to encourage them to reconsider. They can hate me and think I suck all they want, but I want to help facilitate a relationship between them and LO. 

So, I'll probably get some pics of LO printed soon. Do you think I should get some extras printed and mail them to BD and his mom? Or should I not even bother? I kind of want to show them what they're missing - esp his mom because she's never even seen LO, her first and only grandson. Is it too early to give up on beating my head against this brick wall? 

septmom11

From my own experience i would say dont write them off but dont go out of your way for them. If BD's family wants to see LO they will call you.  I have learned that you cannot force a relationship between parent grandparent ect and child.  If they want it they will make it happen and you have already stated the door is open for that.

My ex's family has never met LO and has never tried to contact me.  His younger sister facebooked me once about it and i said sure anytime youd like.  Still havent heard back.....  Ex has seen my LO 2 times in her entire life.  i used to text pics to show him her and what hes missing but its clear he does not care so why should I.

babymama619

I think I'd lay off. Maybe send some picture with a note, but that's it. They know that they are missing something but that is their choice. I plan to leave the door open for my BD but I can't force him to do anything and really I don't want to force someone to be around my child if they don't want to be. 

Maybe a little space will let them feel like a relationship with your LO is their choice, and not something you're forcing or expecting. 

good luck 

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tracy41

I'm voting your beating your head on the brick wall. : You did the right thing and opened the door but you are right that you can't force it. Honestly I disagree with you that it's all right to be disrespectful and to hate you as long as they have a relationship with LO. I do not think having hateful people around your child is a good thing. For your sake I hope they come around but for now I would say you should let it go.

Runaway22

tracy41:

I'm voting your beating your head on the brick wall. : You did the right thing and opened the door but you are right that you can't force it. Honestly I disagree with you that it's all right to be disrespectful and to hate you as long as they have a relationship with LO. I do not think having hateful people around your child is a good thing. For your sake I hope they come around but for now I would say you should let it go.

That's actually s good point.

Thanks for the input y'all. I think I'll just wait for them to come to me at this point. Makes me sad...