shared party or not

sashley70

So I have a very close family and my aunt had a daughter 10/13/11 and my son was born 10/11/12. So a year apart. For thier upcoming parties we are not sure if we should give them a joint party or each their own. If we gave them a joint it would be cheaper because we would split the cost of everything and also we have a big family and some would be driving 2 hours to come to the party. If we have seperate they might not be able to come 2 weekends in a row and would have to choose.

If we gave them seperate we wont have to worry about agreeing on a theme or how we will word the invitations or about my friends im inviting feeling like they have to get her daughter a present and her friends feeling like they have to get my son a present.

Im probably going to give him his own party just because it is his first and I want to make it special even if he wont remember it. I just wanted opinions on what other people would do.

dor79

my niece was born on my son's first birthday party and this year was her first birthday and our second.  We chose to keep the parties seperate, I feel like each kid deserves their own.

wedsept

I am a firm believer in kids having separate parties.  It should be their own special day every year.  My kids are born 3 weeks apart.  They will each have their separate parties each year, unless they tell me they want a joint party. 

jasminelorraine20

I wouldn't unless they were siblings or very close cousins. In any other circumstance, I would ask the children themselves if they would mind sharing a party together. However, for the first birthday I wouldn't do a shared party.

blu-eyedwife

I think this becomes an issue because you guys have different friends.  Maybe do a joint family birthday for both kids, and then a separate one for your friends?  I don't think there's a good way to word an invitation to tell guests to only bring a present for the kid they know and I know as a guest it'd be a little awkward to go to a party where I didn't know one of the birthday kids.

1026pumpkin

blu-eyedwife:

I think this becomes an issue because you guys have different friends.  Maybe do a joint family birthday for both kids, and then a separate one for your friends?  I don't think there's a good way to word an invitation to tell guests to only bring a present for the kid they know and I know as a guest it'd be a little awkward to go to a party where I didn't know one of the birthday kids.

This is a good idea...easier on the relatives and you still get to have a special day for your LO. 

CRLSMC2011

blu-eyedwife:

I think this becomes an issue because you guys have different friends.  Maybe do a joint family birthday for both kids, and then a separate one for your friends?  I don't think there's a good way to word an invitation to tell guests to only bring a present for the kid they know and I know as a guest it'd be a little awkward to go to a party where I didn't know one of the birthday kids.

I agree with this, too.  Joint family party (for shared family) and separate individual party for the other side of the family and friends (fine to also include the shared family if they want to attend and tell them they absolutely don't need to bring a second gift and please don't).

mamayo26

dor79:

my niece was born on my son's first birthday party and this year was her first birthday and our second.  We chose to keep the parties seperate, I feel like each kid deserves their own.

 

This. 

karen_loy

I'd do separate parties

RR081906

I agree with having a separate party.  My SIL was due the same day I was (ended up 2 weeks apart) and from the start I knew that I didn't want them to have joint parties unless they asked for one when they are older.  Each kid deserves their own day.

EastCoastBride

blu-eyedwife:

Maybe do a joint family birthday for both kids, and then a separate one for your friends? 

This was going to be my suggestion.  It sounds like you would each be going to the other kids party, right?  So- you (the parents_) would be blocking off 2 weekends anyhow.  Just use one of the weekends for a combo family party and then the other for friends.

toadstool

EastCoastBride:

blu-eyedwife:

Maybe do a joint family birthday for both kids, and then a separate one for your friends? 

This was going to be my suggestion.  It sounds like you would each be going to the other kids party, right?  So- you (the parents_) would be blocking off 2 weekends anyhow.  Just use one of the weekends for a combo family party and then the other for friends.

Best of both worlds.

JulyMomma2U2

blu-eyedwife:

I think this becomes an issue because you guys have different friends.  Maybe do a joint family birthday for both kids, and then a separate one for your friends?  I don't think there's a good way to word an invitation to tell guests to only bring a present for the kid they know and I know as a guest it'd be a little awkward to go to a party where I didn't know one of the birthday kids.

This.  I think it's different for siblings.. you assume if the guests know "one" of your kids, then they know "both".. but, may not be the case here when you each have different friends.. also like the suggestion of one family party, but each having a seperate "kid/friend" party.

DisneyFreeek

wedsept:

I am a firm believer in kids having separate parties.  It should be their own special day every year.  My kids are born 3 weeks apart.  They will each have their separate parties each year, unless they tell me they want a joint party. 

 

Mine are 2 weeks apart, and we do something on their individual day,  but also a larger joint party with more people the weekend in between. I figure until they start school and make their own friends, this is ok. However, as a cousin who was 2 days apart from another, we had shared parties all the time and I can tell you I hated it. We always did it at their house, and her other side of the family cousins would be there, which would make me feel left out that she had more guests than I did. I would keep it separate in this case.