FTM - WAH During Leave?

Cosmic+Love

Hi everyone!

I'm a lurker who will become a working mom this year. Our baby is due in August and I am planning on taking three months off, then returning full time. Work has not found a great replacement for me as of yet. I'm wondering if any of you have experience working from home shortly after delivery.

I would only be doing their bookkeeping, which would be approximately 1 to 3 hours a day. I can remote access the office computer from home, so work could be done at my convenience. Does this sound crazy?

Thanks for any input.

ASmallWonder

My initial reaction is that if you are entitled to the time off, take it.  They will find a way to make it work.  But even more specifically, if you are receiving any short term disability benefits during your leave, know that you are not legally allowed to work while receiving them.  If you're well enough to work at home, that's working and that means you can't be on disability.

Kissty

I thought about doing something similar when I delivered.  PP is correct on not receiving benefits if working.  Work is work.  But more importantly you may not have time or energy to do it.  Being a FTM is hard.  You have no idea what you're getting into until you're in it.  Your job can wait.  Take the time to enjoy and get to know your LO.  Once they have arrived your priorities will change and LO will be the center of the universe.  Congrats!

Cosmic+Love

elmoali:

My initial reaction is that if you are entitled to the time off, take it.  They will find a way to make it work.  But even more specifically, if you are receiving any short term disability benefits during your leave, know that you are not legally allowed to work while receiving them.  If you're well enough to work at home, that's working and that means you can't be on disability.

I completely understand what you mean. The catch is that I work with my family, so I really don't want to put them in a bad position. I won't be collecting any disability during that time, just using my PTO.

Cosmic+Love

Kissty:

I thought about doing something similar when I delivered.  PP is correct on not receiving benefits if working.  Work is work.  But more importantly you may not have time or energy to do it.  Being a FTM is hard.  You have no idea what you're getting into until you're in it.  Your job can wait.  Take the time to enjoy and get to know your LO.  Once they have arrived your priorities will change and LO will be the center of the universe.  Congrats!

This is what I keep telling myself.

azuremama

With my first, I worked from home about 10 hours a week when he was 3 months old.  It was really hard, I thought.  It's pretty unpredictable as far as naps go and  when he was asleep, it was hard to make myself work instead of napping or cleaning up or trying to do something for myself.  It also kind of depends on the baby--if you have a sleepy, easy-going baby, it's easier to work than with a colicky baby.

In general, I'd say it's possible, but not something I'd want to do again.

thedash

I had an easy pregnancy so I had visions of a great maternity leave too. I thought I would relax and also be productive since I was used to 60 hour work weeks before delivery. Well I had complications recovering from an emergency c section and then DS developed reflux and nursing aversion. I was still a complete mess when I went back at 9 weeks. If someone had been relying on me to work an hour every day during those two months they would have been completely out of luck.

This time I am self employed and would love to get back to working at home after a few weeks but I am preparing to be completely out of touch for nearly two months just in case.

mexicolombiana

Cosmic+Love:

Hi everyone!

I'm a lurker who will become a working mom this year. Our baby is due in August and I am planning on taking three months off, then returning full time. Work has not found a great replacement for me as of yet. I'm wondering if any of you have experience working from home shortly after delivery.

I would only be doing their bookkeeping, which would be approximately 1 to 3 hours a day. I can remote access the office computer from home, so work could be done at my convenience. Does this sound crazy?

Thanks for any input.

Normally I tell moms that working from home while on maternity leave is a terrible idea.

BUT in your case I think it's do-able.  Newborns nap plenty and if you can work remotely it could totally work.  I remember w/my first baby I watched a hell of a lot of junk tv while on ML and I could easily have been working from a laptop.  BUT I had a super easy labor/delivery and a really easy newborn. 

While on maternity leave w/my second it was totally different because I had to watch my toddler too.  Anyway I say it's totally possible (especially if you work for family and want to help out). 

EastCoastBride

lasposa425:

I would wait and see how you feel after delivery.

This.  My pregnancy and delivery were easy.  But DS wasn't a good eater at first.  I ended up having to pump.  OMG - the first 2 weeks alone, I was a sleepless wreck.  I was literally forgetting to eat.  Want me to crunch numbers too?  HA! 

I get it that it's a family business, but even small family businesses need to have contingency plans.  Even if you decide to do this after the first couple weeks, that's fine.  But I really feel that they need to be able to survive w/o you for at least the first couple weeks. 

danieliza1127

I was in no mental condition to do work, let alone math related work, the first couple weeks after delivery.  Yes the baby sleeps a lot, but you don't.  Not to mention hormones, anxiety, crying, whatever else you may find yourself going through.  If you do decide to help the family out, I would suggest you wait at least 2 to 3 weeks after delivery to give it a try.

Cosmic+Love

EastCoastBride:

 

I get it that it's a family business, but even small family businesses need to have contingency plans.  Even if you decide to do this after the first couple weeks, that's fine.  But I really feel that they need to be able to survive w/o you for at least the first couple weeks. 

Thank you everyone for the responses.

And to the bolded, I completely agree!

itsmevkb

I guess I'm in the minority.  I don't think 1-3 hours a day would be bad at all.  I've worked from home, part-time, during three of my four maternity leaves.  I did so as a way to conserve some of my annual leave so that I wouldn't return to work with no leave available to me.  I found that a good trade off because otherwise I never would have had enough time for 12 week maternity leaves with each baby (I work for the federal government and we do not have short term disability or paid maternity leave.) 

So long as you can pick your hours and it's only going to a few a day I think it's totally doable.

Virgo17

I think it will really depend on how you feel and what kind of baby you have.  I would give yourself at least two weeks completely off and then see how you feel.  I wouldn't make any guarantees until baby is here.

katieh1017

My recovery was good, better than I was expecting. I was not expecting a colicky newborn that only slept on me. There is no way I could have worked. I was exhausted. So I think it's going to really depend how you are feeling and how life is with your NB. 

mexicolombiana

itsmevkb:

I guess I'm in the minority.  I don't think 1-3 hours a day would be bad at all.  I've worked from home, part-time, during three of my four maternity leaves.  I did so as a way to conserve some of my annual leave so that I wouldn't return to work with no leave available to me.  I found that a good trade off because otherwise I never would have had enough time for 12 week maternity leaves with each baby (I work for the federal government and we do not have short term disability or paid maternity leave.) 

So long as you can pick your hours and it's only going to a few a day I think it's totally doable.

I agree.  I'm not saying it will work for everyone, but all I did while on ML while the baby napped was watch the Fresh Prince of Belair and other such shows.  I could have easily worked a bit.   

EMOmamma

It sounds reasonable but it's really going to depend on the baby too.  With my 1st - there is no way in he!! I would have worked, even an hour.  He was reflux, colic, needed to be held all.the.damn.time (even to sleep).  But with my 2nd, she napped easily and consistently so I could have worked out a working schedule if needed.  

ETA - Maybe you can work just on Saturdays (whole or half day) while SO watches baby.  It would give you a "break" and give SO a chance to spend 1:1 time with LO.  You could do that at home if you are BFing you could still nurse or go into the office and pump (it would give you a chance to ease into it).

meganandchase

I guess wait and see.  But I have 2 LOs and I am so glad to have had the three months off with each of them.  You need time to rest and recuperate and enjoy your baby.  Unless you need the money, I would say no thanks.

jlaOK

Since it is family and I assume that you'll have a lot of flexibility, I'd work out some sort of compromise.  As much as you don't want to put them in a bind, they should want you to have the proper recovery/bonding time.  I'd take 6 weeks completely off and then offer to WFH for the remainder of your leave.

IBackBevo

I have not read all the responses so I apologize if I am repeating any of the above.

I was not in any condition to be able to have any work responsibilities for at least the first 6-8 weeks.  I was just trying to survive.  But I had a rough pregnancy (severe pre-e) and C-section I was recovering from.  Plus, LO was a little early, had GERD, had a milk protein allergy, was not a good sleeper, etc.  So, based on my experience, I would not count on being in any condition to be able to get several hours of work done a day.  I was not even able to keep up with my sleep...I was a walking zombie for the first 2 months with every day and night revolving around baby.  A trip to the grocery store was a major accomplishment.  I was at a small company where I did not get paid maternity leave and had no STD so I just didn't get paid for that time.

I also know my DH had an employee who was planning on doing something similar (he is a physician and she was going to do the billing from home which probably would have been about 5-7 hours of work a week) while out and it ended up not working. She didn't get the work done and after several weeks of no billing being submitted (so he didn't get paid!), DH ended up having to have a sub/temp.  Luckily, a former employee was looking for some extra money and was able to do it in the evenings and on the weekends.   This is a small company, too, with no paid maternity or STD

But others may have different experiences.   

Cosmic+Love

EMO-mamma:

It sounds reasonable but it's really going to depend on the baby too.  With my 1st - there is no way in he!! I would have worked, even an hour.  He was reflux, colic, needed to be held all.the.damn.time (even to sleep).  But with my 2nd, she napped easily and consistently so I could have worked out a working schedule if needed.  

ETA - Maybe you can work just on Saturdays (whole or half day) while SO watches baby.  It would give you a "break" and give SO a chance to spend 1:1 time with LO.  You could do that at home if you are BFing you could still nurse or go into the office and pump (it would give you a chance to ease into it).

Great suggestion. DH, though he would prefer I take the full three months, offered to even come hang out at the office on the weekends and watch the baby while I worked. That way, I could still BF. It's really not about the money - just concern for the upkeep of the business.

Training someone to take over the payroll/payroll taxes is going to be the most challenging thing to do. Everything else can be managed on a temporary basis until I come back. I'm finding it difficult to get them to take me seriously and focus on what is ahead.

Again, thanks to everyone for your responses.

IBackBevo

EMO-mamma:

With my 1st - there is no way in he!! I would have worked, even an hour.  He was reflux, colic, needed to be held all.the.damn.time (even to sleep).  

This was me exactly.  There was no way I could have done it. 

SpaceGirlSpiff

Lurker here, but thought I'd chime in

I actually did this, I didnt take a leave at all, pretty much started working again from home the first week back from the hospital, and it was a huge mistake for me.... the stress + sleep deprivation was way too much, and probably one of the primary reasons I failed at breastfeeding (only lasted 2.5 months, and the supply was never up to par as he wasnt gaining much...which was just another stressor on top of everything else)

HOWEVER, it sounds like your workload is not as heavy as mine was....for me, I was doing EVERYTHING office related for my company (book keeping, ordering, customer service, etc etc), as we are very small...only like 3 people, and I'm the only one in charge of the office duties, so ... it was a full day worth of work.

If you truly can work on your own terms only a few hours a day (like say, when baby is napping), and it's not a huge pile on of work...especially if there are others in the office who could back you up if you needed.... I think it's possible.  Just be careful not to let work interfere with those initial months of bonding with baby, especially if you're going to breastfeed...those are the most important months for establishing your breastfeeding supply and you really have to make sure you take care of yourself nutritionally and stress-wise.

Good luck! 

 

sadie+w

I think it's impossible to predict. I would have been able to. LO STTN at 2 weeks old and was a very happy baby. So I was rested and sane. Others have had very different experiences. I would not commit to this before LO is born.

hoping4sticky

You won't know until you have your baby...some babies you might be able to get away with it, but others definitely not. If nothing else I would plan for at least 4 and ideally at least 6 weeks of doing nothing, unless you plan on bottle feeding and have help. You don't hear the comments about not being able to shower/cook/clean for nothing.

Just an example of a not ideal scenario - my DD came early with PPROM at 35 weeks, totally unexpected. We avoided the NICU, but because of her size and jaundice we had to wake her every two hours to eat. It was super stressful trying to get her to take enough food and we would nurse for 40 minutes and then we had to supplement with a bottle, change her and get her back down. All of that took about an hour, so we had to do it all over again an hour later. We did that for almost 2 weeks and then went to every 3 hours. There was no way I could have worked.

With my second he still ate every 2-3 hours around the clock, but he was a champion nurser and only took about 20 minutes to eat. If I bottle fed with him, I probably could've gotten some work done.

countrywed

Take 2 weeks completely off

Since this is a family business, talk to your family about needing extra help for awhile - ie if you aren't getting the sleep you need and the work done, they come babysit while you take care of yourself or work.  So all this doesn't get put on YH.

I am thinking off trying a telework for my work (Government) along with short trips into the office with LO.  But I will have back-ups in place for some things and others may just get backed but no immediate due dates.

MagickalNarwhal

In my experience, 1 to 3 hours of work per day would take 2 to 6 hours to get done. My son slept less than 12 hours in a 24 hr period, and during the day his naps were 20 to 30 min. No WAY would I have been able to navigate any sort of regular work. I did go in to work about 10 hrs a week but we had child care for that time.