Well that was disappointing...

Roxycc55

Had my first therapy appt today, and it was somewhat lame.

I know it was only an intake, so I am still going back in two weeks to see how I feel about her. She was definitely not what I was expecting.

The most disappointing part, was that she focused the entire session on going over my anxiety and depression, and didn't even say a word about the miscarriage until I brought it up even though it was written all over my paperwork. Here's how the conversation went:

"anything else you think I should know?"
"Well, my anxiety and depression have really increased since my miscarriage last year."
"Oh my, when was that?"
"Last June."
"Oh, so we are coming up on the anniversary.."
"Yes." I do give her props for realizing it's a harder time right now
"How long were you pregnant for?"
"I was 15 weeks."
writes it down and looks up, "Wow, that's over 3 months."
"Yes." starts to tear up
"Were you trying to get pregnant?"
"We were not trying, but not protecting."
"So when you found out you were pregnant..."
"We were very happy."
"So you were going to keep the child."
nods
"So this is definitely a loss for you then."
"Yes."

Moves on.

That's it.

The entire session.

I already know I have "Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Minor Depression with OCD traits." That was not new, or helpful.

Grr.

ETA: the bump ate my formatting, sorry.

samjen2010

I'm sorry your session wasn't what you expected Roxy. I hope the next one is better and that you feel like you are making progress. (hugs)

buckeyebride22

I'm sorry hun and props to you for giving her another shot. I'm too quick to judge counselors. Big mobile hugs.

EKGibs

I'm sorry Roxy. Hopefully the next session will be better. (((hugs)))

JordyInIndy

[[[hugs]]] Roxy. I'm sorry you didn't get much out of your first appointment. Hopefully she will focus more on your loss at the next.

nyg2042

I'm sorry that the session didn't turn out as you had hoped.  I would agree with giving it a few more sessions.  It takes time to develop rapport and get on the same page.  Hope the next session is much better and lots of ((hugs))

Etta07

HUGS Roxy I'm sorry she didn't pay attention to the important part for you. I hope your next appointment is more of what you need

PatientlyWaiting10

(((hugs)))  I'm sorry it didn't go as planned!!  Hopefully the next one is better.  

Poppy715

I would not let yourself be afraid of trying another therapist if you aren't feeling like this one is helpful.. I think that is a major component to therapy is feeling like you are making progress or at least getting helpful meaningful time with them. My H doesn't feel this way and he gets less than I do from our sessions. Sorry it wasn't what you expected.

km_md

I'm sorry that you are disappointed Roxy, especially after you had a hard time finding someone (((hugs))) I'm glad that you are going to go at least one more time though. Sometimes it is hard to really bond with someone at the intake appointments. Good luck with the next one!

Serenla

::hugs:: I hope it goes better next time and if not you can change therapists.

MamaWombat

(((hugs))) I'm sorry. I hope the next session feels more productive for you. 

ZAngel

I'm very sorry the appointment didn't go as expected.  After the next session if you feel that you are not connecting with this therapist, you should definitely search for a new one.  Some therapists will give you a bio or a pamphlet that tells you a bit more about their background and counseling style.  It's very important to find someone you are comfortable with.  Good luck and I really hope things turn around for you!

meli1025

ZAngel:

I'm very sorry the appointment didn't go as expected.nbsp; After the next session if you feel that you are not connecting with this therapist, you should definitely search for a new one.nbsp; Some therapists will give you a bio or a pamphlet that tells you a bit more about their background and counseling style.nbsp; It's very important to find someone you are comfortable with.nbsp; Good luck and I really hope things turn around for you!

Hugs Roxy, and I second all of this. I would give her one more shot. I hope next time is more productive for you.

mandiroo

I'm sorry you didn't have a great session. Hopefully your appt. in 2 weeks will be better.  (((Hugs)))

ZAngel

Also, don't be afraid to point this out at your next session.  Many therapists will allow their patient to "take the lead".  If you just let her know that you didn't feel enough time was spent discussing your loss, I'm sure she would be more than happy to redirect the session.  Let her know that you feel your loss is a very important part of your life and you believe it has a lot to do with the pain you experience on a regular basis.  If she discounts your feelings and tries to run the topics, I would encourage you to look for someone else.

ellajune2012

Igoo0304:

I'm sorry it wasn't what you needed. Hopefully the next appt is better. I side-eye her a little for saying "so this was definitely a loss for you."

Yeah... I was doing the same.

Hope next time is better. If not, nothing wrong with trying to find someone else.

ashx3renee

(((Hugs))) Roxy, I'm sorry that your appointment didn't go as well as you hoped.  I hope your next session is better.  More ((hugs))!

MamaWombat

ellajune2012:

Igoo0304:

I'm sorry it wasn't what you needed. Hopefully the next appt is better. I side-eye her a little for saying "so this was definitely a loss for you."

Yeah... I was doing the same.

Hope next time is better. If not, nothing wrong with trying to find someone else.

Yeah, I definitely second (or third) this.  

uneek1323

I'm sorry your appointment did not go as expected. I would be upset about it too if I were you. Give it some time, but also don't waste time with her if you know it's not going to work out. Switching doctors to find someone else is daunting (I've been there) but it's better to leave and find someone who can help you.

jbasore1123

snegde:

Sorry you left feeling frustrated. Give it a few more sessions, that as an initial meeting sounds about right.

 

Agreed. I am a therapist and it sucks trying to gather all the necessary information, complete paperwork, and do everything we need to do in only 45-60 mins. I'm sure she was trying to gather basic information on all recent stressors and symptoms and plans on digging deeper at the next session. I'm happy you are giving it another chance and I hope it works out.

jbasore1123

ZAngel:

Also, don't be afraid to point this out at your next session.  Many therapists will allow their patient to "take the lead".  If you just let her know that you didn't feel enough time was spent discussing your loss, I'm sure she would be more than happy to redirect the session.  Let her know that you feel your loss is a very important part of your life and you believe it has a lot to do with the pain you experience on a regular basis.  If she discounts your feelings and tries to run the topics, I would encourage you to look for someone else.

Roxycc55

Thank you all for your feedback, I really appreciate it. I do understand that intake appts can only go so deep, so I will give her one more try. If I don't like her style at an actual session I'm gonna switch.

I definitely side eyed her comment about the loss too. Like, what are the qualifications to you? Glad I met them in your eyes?

ALSO: A little background, I was sexually assaulted when I was drunk my freshman year of college (not forcibly, just like, black out drunk and taken advantage of). And I said something about this leading to my first overdose. And I said, yeah, it wasn't like a forcible thing, and she said, "Oh, so it wasn't rape." I was like...okay.. thank you for saying the worst possible thing to me. I almost started crying. I'm hoping she just didn't get it? Or something.

ellajune2012

Roxycc55:

Thank you all for your feedback, I really appreciate it. I do understand that intake appts can only go so deep, so I will give her one more try. If I don't like her style at an actual session I'm gonna switch.

I definitely side eyed her comment about the loss too. Like, what are the qualifications to you? Glad I met them in your eyes?

ALSO: A little background, I was sexually assaulted when I was drunk my freshman year of college (not forcibly, just like, black out drunk and taken advantage of). And I said something about this leading to my first overdose. And I said, yeah, it wasn't like a forcible thing, and she said, "Oh, so it wasn't rape." I was like...okay.. thank you for saying the worst possible thing to me. I almost started crying. I'm hoping she just didn't get it? Or something.

W.T.F. That would be a total red flag for me. As someone who works in a university, one thing we try to stress over and over (and over) again is that force is not the benchmark for defining "rape". She deserves a big slap in the face for that one. Seriously.

ZAngel

Roxycc55:

ALSO: A little background, I was sexually assaulted when I was drunk my freshman year of college (not forcibly, just like, black out drunk and taken advantage of). And I said something about this leading to my first overdose. And I said, yeah, it wasn't like a forcible thing, and she said, "Oh, so it wasn't rape." I was like...okay.. thank you for saying the worst possible thing to me. I almost started crying. I'm hoping she just didn't get it? Or something.

Wait... what?  Is this person licensed?  I can't imagine why any therapist would ever say that.  Actually, I change my previous suggestion.  I believe you should go ahead and find another counselor now.  I personally would not go back to this person.  A therapist doesn't have to understand what you are going through to know what is (and isn't) appropriate feedback.  That comment was really unprofessional and out of line.

caroeliz02

Hope your next session is more productive.

Roxycc55

ZAngel:

Roxycc55:

ALSO: A little background, I was sexually assaulted when I was drunk my freshman year of college (not forcibly, just like, black out drunk and taken advantage of). And I said something about this leading to my first overdose. And I said, yeah, it wasn't like a forcible thing, and she said, "Oh, so it wasn't rape." I was like...okay.. thank you for saying the worst possible thing to me. I almost started crying. I'm hoping she just didn't get it? Or something.

Wait... what?  Is this person licensed?  I can't imagine why any therapist would ever say that.  Actually, I change my previous suggestion.  I believe you should go ahead and find another counselor now.  I personally would not go back to this person.  A therapist doesn't have to understand what you are going through to know what is (and isn't) appropriate feedback.  That comment was really unprofessional and out of line.

Yeah I'm trying to assume she didn't get what I meant. I dunno. I almost cried but just was like 'yeah I was drinking but I didn't want anything to happen.'

heather52904

I'm sorry you were disappointed. I really hope she just didn't understand what you meant about the incident in college. I hope the next session goes better. [HUGS]

mayonegg

BIG ((((((hugs))))))) hon. First of all, kudos to you for going. DH asked me to go as well, and I went 4 times. I did not click with my lady at all. She spent the first appointment telling me about her miscarriage and how it ended up being ok because she went on to have 3 kids and they are great and one is a doctor, one is a teacher, and blah, blah, blah. In our next 4 sessions my miscarriage wasn't brought up at all, and I didn't feel comfortable bringing it up.

Maybe try another session or two to see if it gets better, but don't feel bad switching to someone else. 

mayonegg

bbg676:

Roxycc55:

ZAngel:

Roxycc55:

ALSO: A little background, I was sexually assaulted when I was drunk my freshman year of college (not forcibly, just like, black out drunk and taken advantage of). And I said something about this leading to my first overdose. And I said, yeah, it wasn't like a forcible thing, and she said, "Oh, so it wasn't rape." I was like...okay.. thank you for saying the worst possible thing to me. I almost started crying. I'm hoping she just didn't get it? Or something.

Wait... what?  Is this person licensed?  I can't imagine why any therapist would ever say that.  Actually, I change my previous suggestion.  I believe you should go ahead and find another counselor now.  I personally would not go back to this person.  A therapist doesn't have to understand what you are going through to know what is (and isn't) appropriate feedback.  That comment was really unprofessional and out of line.

Yeah I'm trying to assume she didn't get what I meant. I dunno. I almost cried but just was like 'yeah I was drinking but I didn't want anything to happen.'

I change my former statement - run, don't walk, from this therapist. 

Rape isn't always violent or by force and any therapist that thinks that that is the ONLY definition of rape should not be in practice.  Coercion, intimidation, and not being able to give consent (while under the influence of alcohol or drugs, among other things) are all ways that rape can happen (among others).

I completely agree with Angel - that comment was completely unprofessional and out of line.  That comment, along with her off-the-cuff remarks about your loss, makes me think she really doesn't think or edit her thoughts before she speaks.  This will probably be an ongoing issue that could end up causing hurt feelings and miscommunication. 

::hugs::

Sorry, I didn't see this stuff - I think I'd be done with her. ((((hugs))))