law&order

asyph107

Hello,

I posed on the food and nutrition board seeking advice and was told to find you here.  So here is a repost of what I posted, desperately seeking advice!

DS2 who will be 17 months in a week or so does not eat. I mean I can list the foods he will eat in no time, crackers, puffs, yogurt melts, tuna, cereal bars, yogurt, some baby foods still, and thats pretty much all he lives on. no meat, no veggies(outside of baby food), no fruit (same thing baby food), hardly anything. 

We have tried everything, I mean everything. We still give him real food at every meal the same as his brother gets just hoping someday he will break into it, but he hates it. He truly seems to hate food. Pedi said it might be a sensitivity to textures. He cannot stand certain textures and even if he touches food, if he doesn't like how it feels he spits out what ever is in his mouth (even if it is a good thing on his list) 

He has other texture issues like cannot stand his bare feet in grass, hates socks, sitting, touching or standing on sand makes him scream.

I need some food suggestions, i am out of ideas, Pedi is out of suggestions, short of a nutritionist (but its not like we are clueless on how to give him nutritious food, we do every day, he just wont eat it) 

He is growing just fine, he is in the 75 percentile for height and 50^th for weight. We have been giving him a daily dose of liquid vitamin with iron in his milk.

Ideas?? Experiences like this?

Netty_3

My LO is like this. He likes very few meats. He tends to be okay with shredded meats and prefers beans, hummus, or peanut butter for protein...we've just added more to our own diets so we're all eating the same thing. We also give him the same things we eat every meal...and luckily just recently (fingers crossed this remains) he is back to at least trying foods again before deeming them inedible. Just keep trying, and exposing him to foods.

law&order

Hi there,  (and fair warning---this will be long)

This sounds a whole lot like our little guy. From 9 months on we really struggled with solids and a very limited diet along with iron deficiency and borderline FTT. At 7 or 8 months it would take a good 45 minutes to feed him one serving of baby food. Any table foods other than fruit or crackers got tossed on the floor.

I have a few suggestions and resources that really really helped us.

- Definitely your pedi for a referral to nutrition and to occupational therapy for a feeding assessment.  Nutrition will analyze what he's eating in terms of nutritional value and give tips on improving his diet. OT will help with the feeding and texture issues. Both will help you understand how to introduce foods and why he doesn't like food. We did OT for 6 weeks and have seen nutrition since he was 9 months old.

- You must continue to introduce new foods. Even if he doesn't eat them. It can sometimes take over 20 times of introducing a new food before a child will even try it...let alone eat it. They will often go through phases of throwing, then touching, then licking, then sharing it with you before the food will actually get swallowed. The key is to continue introducing foods even if you know the child won't eat it. When they don't eat it, that's fine, you really can't force them. I consider it a win when my son puts a new food in his mouth. Even if he then spits it out.  He tried and that is most of the battle.

 - Google "food chaining."  You may be able to use this technique to bridge from one preferred food to another. We tried chaining yogurt to milk with moderate success but haven't really pushed it as much as we should have.

-ironically, veggie chips/sticks and the cooked salad snap peas are good ways to introduce veggies. It's got a favorable texture for kiddos like ours, but a hint of a veggie flavor.

My son's nutritionist and his OT recommended the following articles and books, both of which I have found very helpful in dealing with a challenging eater.

https://mealtimenotions.com/cautious-eaters-everything-is-a-grasshopper/  - This describes why introducing new foods is hard and why kids are so cautious.

https://www.amazon.com/Child-Mine-Feeding-Love-Sense/dp/0923521518

Child of Mine emphasizes that the "division of labor," if you will, in eating is as follows:

Parents: decide when, where, and what is offered for meals

Children: decide if they eat at all and how much. You really can't force them to eat.

We stick to a strict schedule of 3 meals, 2 snacks, always at the table (unless on vacation or we are out and about), no grazing and no juice/milk between meals. People will harp on "don't be a short-order cook." Well....I am. We are choosing to fight that battle later given his weight/anemia/FTT issues. But we do always offer a non-preferred item with a preferred item. Some day it will happen.

It does sound like it's sensory-related for your son given his sand/dirt/grass dislikes. My guy is similar in that he hates to have his hands dirty. Finger painting = hysterical crying. In a sandbox, he will only use tools (not his hands). And he refuses to hold messy foods like bagels himself. I still feed him those- mainly because I'm just not willing to fight with him on that right now.  I highly recommend OT on this one. They will give you sensory play ideas and help work on some techniques to overcome this.

Also, as his motor skills improve, some of these sensory issues are less of a big deal. He doesn't like messy hands? Ok, good, well now he can use a spoon or fork and it's not an issue. The sensory processing issues become concerning when they interfere with his functioning or development. The OT can help you understand these issues too.  Even adults aren't well-regulated all the time. But we learn how to adapt.

I do find it interesting that you son eats tuna. That is a very strong flavor and a weird texture! He also seems to have a wide range of likes. If you look at the food you listed, he's not limited to strictly soft foods or strictly crunchy foods. In the things he does eat: you have crunchy, soft, meat, and mechanical (fruit bar). It's also encouraging that it's not impacting his growth at this time.

 At 21 months my kiddo still has a very limited diet, but he's eating and gaining weight. He's come very far when we look back. There are far fewer tears, throwing of food has virtually stopped, and he's willing to try things (especially on my plate). I consider it a win when he wants a bite of my hamburger...even if he spits it out. He tries. We will fight the "you get what you get"/short order cooking issues later as he become more comfortable with food.

asyph107

Thank you so much for this! I know that you understanding how sad it is to wonder even meal if your child is leaving hungry, and what you can do to make it right.

I will call his pedi and get more info about those services. I seriously hate the people who are saying don't be a short order cook, and frankly I was one of those people when I had DS1. That was because he ate and continues to eat amazingly. So DS2 totally threw me for a loop. Thank fully he is growing, but I need to get on the pedi about checking his iron levels and vitamins again.

I am def going to look at those articles, if I have more questions can I PM you? 

law&order

asyph107:

Thank you so much for this! I know that you understanding how sad it is to wonder even meal if your child is leaving hungry, and what you can do to make it right.

I will call his pedi and get more info about those services. I seriously hate the people who are saying don't be a short order cook, and frankly I was one of those people when I had DS1. That was because he ate and continues to eat amazingly. So DS2 totally threw me for a loop. Thank fully he is growing, but I need to get on the pedi about checking his iron levels and vitamins again.

I am def going to look at those articles, if I have more questions can I PM you? 

Yes, for sure PM me if you want to chat more!

One of the hardest things we had to accept was that we could not cater to DS wanting to graze and eat while he plays. For us, meals must be at a table (either patio or dining room). If he doesn't sit in a chair...he doesn't get to eat. he will eat more at the next meal. That is HARD. I know. But it has worked and he gets it now. I had to accept that if he wasn't going to eat, even when I offered preferred foods, he would eat more at the next meal. As long as you are offering a mix of preferred and non-preferred foods, there is always something that you know he likes. if he doesn't eat it, then that is his choice. You can't battle on that. The Satter book is great for this concept

sch023

I have a 17 mo old too and most of the times he eats fine but then comes a series of days when all he will eat is his puffs and yogurt. My most difficult was to get him to eat green veggies. Today he will eat creamed spinach ans broccoli with gusto!! Works grt especially when he is teething. I tend not to worry when a couple of days he eats only bread or yogurt or his puffs. He have started baking bread at home and will add spinach or carrots or zucchini in it. Once toasted n buttered he doesn't know the veggies exist.

Also when I started trying out giving him broccoli I started by adding very tiny bit to his cereal. As he started finishing up what I served him, I slowly started increasing the amount of veggie I added to his cereal. So he got used to them slowly. And really it's better to fight one battle at a time with these determined fellows. My son still will not eat spinach if it's not creamed and I don't mind blending it for him. As long as it reaches his tummy I am fine! For eg he loves whole wheat pasta but only orzo not any other kind! It has Ntn to do with taste but how it feels in his mouth. So I buy orzo exclusively for him!

I also make green smoothies. Hide veggies in lots of fruits and blend them. Also I have noticed that if we eat or drink something, my son more readily accepts them. He may reject the same food from his little plate but eat it from my husband's or my plate. Also make a big deal when he eats even one spoon. I clap and cheer and say good job. I kiss and hug him and tell him how proud I am of him even now when he finishes his meal. They understand all this.

Also avoid sugary treats as a back up. They learn pretty well that if he refuses the food u offer, next he gets is his sugary treat. I sometime hide his box of puffs when i am introducing new food. Will bring it out for snack, but it will be mostly hidden during the day! But then every kid is different.I hope this helped. I am a mom and I still worry about my son even when I know his tummy is full!! Good job for trying your best. He will come around

Also let me know if u have no clue as to how much ur kid should be eating. I may have some articles that tell you how mucha kid shd eat at what age. That was my biggest fear that my son was not eating enuf! 

Kitten80

I tried to reply last night, but I couldn't get my phone to cooperate.  I just had to jump on quick (so I haven't read replies beyond the first, sorry if I duplicate info).
Uh! LO just hit my screen and so it takes me to "post mode" - and on this silly semi smart phone I can't scroll.  Wanted to add you are doing the right thing presenting the same foods as big brither regularly.  I apologize for al errors -as I said, can't scroll so beyond first sentences, I can't see what I write.  Not my favorite way to post. GL!

As soon as I read his list I was thinking "sensory" (or oral motor.  And then you mentioned he has some sensory issues outside of food.

You can get a feeding assessment done (depending on your state these are done by SLP or OT or both).  You can also refer to EI to have one done (at least in our State we did those for EI), but I know there is often a long wwait.  You can also find an OT with experience with sensory issues to do a global assessment with sensory and motor concerns.

These evals can help identify the causes of his resisitance and can provide you with a course of action.  I did feeding therapy for years and it can be very helpful and successful.  The therapist would do sessions with LO but then gi   eyou instructions for home to help move LO frward.  Food chaining based on a preferred food can be helpful - I.e. The temp/color/shape can be used.  It seems lttle one prefers soft and easy to chew/swallow foods (could have an oral motor weaness component which an eval will help identify).  Are they all bland colors as well?  Anyways, I would see if you could find something like pasta in the same shape as the puffs/crackers and do all "flower" shape foods (or whatever - just giving an example).