To Doula or Not to Doula?

laplante00

I'm having a hard time deciding if it would be worth the extra expense to hire a doula - anyone out there with any suggestions or previous experience would be much welcome!

  

laplante00

Right now, it would just be me and hubby in the delivery room - he doesn't do well with hospitals so I'm thinking he may need the extra support too!

aylafsu88

IMO a doula is a wonderful person to have during L&D.  I had a doula and she was worth every penny we paid her.  My H and I took the Bradley classes so we were prepared for labor.  But labor can be a long, tiring process.  We relied on our doula to remind us of positions we may have forgot, keep us positive and to give my H a break.  I had a 14 hour L&D.  My H could have supported me alone but having a doula there made a huge a difference.  She kept us relaxed, happy and positive.  She took a lot of pressure off of my H and we actually enjoyed L&D. If you have the money, I would highly suggest one.

tokenhoser

Well, DH is the one that insisted we hire our doula back for #2, so if you think your DH might be less than 100% in a hospital setting, I'd highly recommend one.

We had a doula for my first baby, and she helped a lot. It was a fairly straightforward delivery and not a long labour (we gave her a "warning" around 5 pm, she cam over at 9 pm, I had the baby by 1 am). My DH is not that great at knowing how to care for me when I'm sick or in pain, so I knew he could use some help in that area. She helped him know what to do for me, and helped support us both physically (hip squeezes and back counterpressure helped me a lot, and that's tiring on the support person). 

sschwege

I have been on this board for a while and I have never heard anyone say they regretted spending the money on a doula.  As my MW once said to me, "It's the best money you will ever spend."

That being said, I did not have one either time and I don't regret it.  My MIL was there the first time and my mother the second.  So they were there to relieve DH if he needed it or run and get things for me.  I'm just one of those woman who knows what I want/need while in labor and pretty much just wants to be left alone.  Plus my hospital is very pro-natural childbirth, so I had that going for me as well.  If you are unsure, I say get one.  Perhaps you could find a student who is willing to work for free or have you checked to see if your hospital has doulas?  Mine had volunteer doulas.   

madde1km

We're military, so my husband won't be here for the birth, and I have no family close by. I hired a doula, because I don't really have anyone else to count on to help me, and I also desire a natural birth. I think you just have to look at your situation and go with your gut feeling. If you can afford it, and you'd like the additional assistance, I'd go for it!

oliversmommy32912

I think doulas are wonderful. With that being said, I think a doula is kind of like having insurance-- If you end up getting a better birth experience because you had a doula you will be glad you spent the money. If you end up not needing one you will wish you had spent your money elsewhere.

Doulas can be awesome. Your husband might be super supportive and be a great birth partner but it's nice to have an extra set of hands. Your husband will likely need to go to the bathroom or eat sometime and it's nice to have someone who can stay with you while he takes care of himself so that he can be present for you. You might end up being someone who likes a lot of counter-pressure on your back. It's nice for your husband to have relief because it can be hard work. You might need someone rubbing your feet and changing cold rags on your head. Your husband can't do both at the same time. Doulas can also suggest different positions to help progress labor or get the baby into a more favorable position. They can be a calm presence when things get crazy. They can be your voice when you don't know how to speak up for yourself.

I thought my husband would be a fantastic birth partner and I know he meant well but when it came down to it he really didn't know what the heck he was doing and panicked the minute things got crazy (which was pretty much immediately since I had a really quick labor).

I did have a doula. She was expensive. She didn't make it to the birth until the baby was crowning. I do regret hiring her but only because I felt like I wasted $800 on something I didn't even get to use. It wasn't her fault-- It wasn't anyone's fault-- and I know if I had had a longer labor she would have been very much worth it. If you do decide to hire a doula keep that in mind. You have to consider the possibility that you might not need them and you will still have to eat that cost. But also ask yourself:  If things don't go according to your plans and you end up with an unsatisfactory birth experience will you regret not hiring one?

I have never met someone else that has regretted hiring a doula. 

mrs.mastro

I posted a similar question a couple weeks ago. I never ended up finding one and DS2 surprised us today! I did not go drug free with DS1, and we never took any classes so I was nervous about trying this time. I really wanted to do it though. I was lucky because my hospital was very open and supportive of natural birth and even luckier because my LD nurse actually is a former birthing center nurse so she was totally awesome and really like my doula. She could not be with me at all times but still was a huge support. I don't think I could have done it without her.
I'd suggest a doula for sure because I know I really lucked out with my nurse and I'm not sure how many other nurses would have been so great.

laplante00

That's a great idea, I hadn't checked into that yet but I definitely will!

Watergirl21

I had decided to try accupunture with a naturopath at 40 weeks turns out she was also a doula and it turned out her services are covered through our insurance. I hired her at 41 weeks and although she missed the birth I was at the hospital for 15 minutes before I delivered. She was there minutes afterwards though and I felt she provide a lot of support for me, and took a lot of pressure off of my husband. Her services also included the accupunture, pre and post visits. I wish I had hired her sooner. I have my follow up tomorrow.
But it comes down to finding someone you are comfortable with... I really clicked with her and that made all the difference.

Ucci

My boyfriend and I spoke to three doulas and didn't end up going with any of them and in the end we were both really happy with our decision. It was this whole big thing but I had been seeing midwives at my OB office and they were all super on board with natural birth so that helped from the go. Then finally at 8 months we go in touch with a friend who was a doula and she recommended I speak to a woman in my area, so we did and we loved her but she wasn't going to be available so she had another woman talk to us who was in-SANE. So we were just like, whatever. My boyfriend and I hashed out a really comprehensive plan for the birth and all of that and in the end he had to talk me out of getting an epidural once. But he was pretty great about everything and our plan went totally out the window when I learned that my way of dealing with contractions is to get really quiet and spend like, hours in the shower. I literally didn't have to, like, make any commands or need any sort of representation because I wrote a pretty hap-hazard birth plan like three days before I went into labor and the midwife that was there was totally cool with it. 

 

Man. This post is a mess. I haven't written in a while.

In conclusion: go with what feels right. (duh.) I feel like doulas can be a really good, healthy part of the birthing process but my midwife and boyfriend were all I needed to get through the most insane 12 hours of my life. 

hollowstar

Doula! You may be able to find a student if money is an issue. My last birth was much faster than anticipated and unfortunately my natural birth plan went out the window. This time I found a student doula to help with extra support. My husband was amazing at my first birth but he didn't/doesn't actually know anything about birth and definitely didn't know how to handle a more atypical labor. 

So yes - Doula!