transition from 1 to 2

lisamoe

I know many of you have more than one child.  How did your transition go from 1 to 2 kids?  How apart in age are they?

I guess I'm just starting to wonder how it will go.  DS will just be turning 2 or not quite when this LO arrives.

Don't scare me too much, ladies (kidding, the truth please   )

sbevmc09

I'm sure it depends on a lot of different factors, but I was really dreading the transition.  I thought it was going to be horrible, mostly because I thought I wouldn't be able to handle everything. 

It has been so much better than I had anticipated!  It helps that DD is a very easygoing baby and maybe because I was expecting the worst I'm pleasantly surprised.  

DD was born ~1 month before DS's 3rd bday.  

Cherryblossoms07

It is going to depend on your kids. 

My kids are two years apart and it was rough!  DS was a horrible sleeper; he only slept 2-3 hours at a time until well after 6 months.  DS didn't start sleeping through the night until after he turned one.  DS also had GER so he was not an easy baby while awake either.  DD went through a little but of a jealousy stage also, so she acted out. 

Now a little over a year later it is much easier.  They can actually play nicely now and DD will look out for DS. 

bumpuser8448316

I'm nervous too. DS will be 3.5 when the baby arrives so he'll be pretty independent. But he also starts preschool in August and I'm already nervous about getting out of the house on time with two!

kcisthebombdotcom

Kids are 12.5 months apart. I found that transition easier than 0-1 personally. I think i was anticipating the worst so when it didn't live up to what i psyched myself out for it seemed almost easy. My oldest was too young to get it so he really didn't act jealous/regress or anything. My dd was an easy, mellow baby. I think it had some tough times like the week dh went back to work ds started cutting molars but the overall experience was manageable. I also have the kind of personality where I like being busy with lots to do combined with two fairly easy kiddos so take my advice with a grain of salt.lol 

Andrewsgal

I totally anticipated the worst, and found it to be so much easier than I though it would be. 

ta78

Mne are 2.5 years apart. DS did act out for the first month then he mellowed out again and is great w her. He does need his one on one time, but that's expected. Other than that, things aren't that different.

kmdm

DD1 was 3.5 when DD2 arrived. she was at that age where she was independent enough and I could trust her to play alone in her room / playroom and not hurt herself while I had to nurse or nap the baby. transition was fairly easy at home. However it was tough to run errands or go out by myself w two!

DD2 will be almost 2 when baby 3 comes in a few weeks. I'm slightly concerned as DD2 isn't very independent yet and still needs supervision. Not sure how I'm going to handle 3 at home and I'm not even going to attempt running errands with all of them until the baby is older!

stgn01

I got pregnant when DD was 19 months so there is a 28 month age difference.  The transition from 0-1 was way worse than 1-2.  The first few months were the hardest.  DS nursed constantly and that was a strain.  Coupled with DD regressing a bit b/c she was jealous, I had to find my balance.  Reading her books while I nursed really helped.  

I made tons of freezer meals before the baby came and that was a lifesaver!  My husband doesn't come home until 8pm, so I do the entire dinner/bath/night routine by myself.  Not thinking about dinner took a lot of stress off.

When DS was 3 months old, DD got sick and I wouldn't let her near him.  While I was trying to do the best in hindsight, it didn't work.  DD got super jealous/clingy/mean b/c I still had to spend a lot of time with the baby and I woulnd't let her near him.  He got sick anyway so it didn't matter.  It's a lot easier when I can let her interact with him.  Right now they both have pink eye, but they are happy b/c they can "play" together.

Going out by yourself with 2 kids is a hassel.  Plan extra time for everything.  Wear the baby.  It really helps.  The second kid doesn't know any better and will adjust to not having as much attention or being left sitting on the floor for a few minutes while you tend to something else...but this will rock your first child's world!  Someone told me if both kids are crying, tend to the older one because they understand more and will think you are always picking the baby over them.  While I thought that was kinda harsh, it did work for the most part for us.

Above all, be forgiving...of yourself, your partner, and your kids.  Your house will be a mess, cereal will be for dinner a lot of nights and your child will watch more TV than you care to admit.  It's all about survival.  But after a while (about 4 months for me) you hit your stride and get your routine.  Good luck and sorry this was so long! 

jensriot

C was almost 2.5 when L came. Those first six months were hard. L was colicky and screamed every single night for hours. Things may have been a bit better if we didn't have that issue. C had a little jealous period, but I tried to involve her constantly and it made a huge difference in her behavior. Now they play and keep each other company. I love watching them together.

eaglesfan700

CnAmom:

For me? Going from 1 to 2 was easier than going from zero to 1. Mine are 16 months apart, but I imagine that your 2 year old is a little more independent than a younger toddler, and that should make the transition easier.

Totally this.  Mine are 16 months apart too, and I had so much anxiety leading up to it.  Funny, my H was totally calm, he was all "we got this" -  meanwhile he was the one freaking about #1

Now we were incredibly lucky that both DS and DD were, and are still, really great sleepers.  Of course there were rough days but I had built it up in my head to be so much worse.  

The hardest part was physically leaving the house.   Getting everyone dressed, changed, fed and making myself somewhat presentable was a huge production. Always give yourself extra time to get ready to go to time sensitive things like dr appts.

GL! 

lisamoe

Thanks to all of the responses!

Honestly I thought the responses would be a lot worse- I'm glad and hoping its not going to be as rough as I made it out to be in my mind.

mrs.birdie

My DS is only 7 weeks old, but the transition has been easier than I expected. My DD will be 3 in June.

Pone of my big adjustments was just exhaustion. With my DD, I didn't have anyone else to worry about. Now, I have to manage two children's needs. I don't get to sleep whenever DS sleeps because DD needs attention too. It was brutal the first few days/weeks when DS was doing the newborn sleep schedule and I still had to get up with DD.

Other than that, it's just been basic adjustment. Trying to get both of them taken care of and keep DD on her schedule. 

meglew

Andrewsgal:

I totally anticipated the worst, and found it to be so much easier than I though it would be. 

This is/was me as well.   The second time, it was more like riding a bike.  I will say though DD #1 is 5 years old, so she is quite independent and loves to be mommy's little helper (a little too much, in fact).  DD #2 is just a harder baby then DD #1 was and that is the part that is challenging for me.  The other issue I have had is the fact DD #1 has school and activities, so trying to get out of the house for those things, while trying to create a schedule for DD #2 has been a little stressful.  If DD #2 would just sleep for more than 30 minutes at a time, we would all be happier people!

hayleydeee

When I only had one I couldn't even imagine how people managed with two. Then I had twins and went from 1 to 3! 

It was (and is) challenging, but you just make it work. It's amazing what we can do as parents. Honestly, having more kids wasn't as nearly hard as it was going from zero children to one child.

MountaineerMomma

I would say 1-2 was more challenging. Dd1 was 23 months when dd2 was born. The first two months were the worst for me. DH was on call every week for the first month in addition to his normal schedule and then came home and slept most of the next day, so that made it difficult. Jealousy was a little harder to deal with those nights (everyone was sleepy, cranky and wanted me, and B hadn't learned to sleep through the crying at that point). I also had ppa, so it probably seemed worse than it was until my meds kicked in. Now they're awesome! Dd1 sings to dd2, she tries to share her stuffed turtle, etc. Now that I'm into a routine, it's so much fun, and I wouldn't trade it for anything!