Nosey CW

Helenahhandbasket

Hi-- I am hoping someone here can maybe give me some advice.

I am generally pretty quiet when it comes to my personal and home life at work, but a while back, one of my co-workers (who I am pretty friendly with) were out at happy hour and discussing our personal lives ( I know-- mistake #1). 

CW is getting married next month and she is 34, so her and her hubs to be are pretty anxious to start a family.  She asked me if/ when DH and I were planning on a second.  Usually when asked that question I say something like "eventually" and smirk.  I must have been stroking out that day, because I said that when DD turns one, we were planning on trying again.  That was maybe a year ago at this point, and DD is now 15 mo-- so well over 1. Since then our plans have changed a bit and TTC has taken a back seat (due to financial issues mainly).

I don't know if it's because she is anxious about it herself, but for the past month or so, CW had been making comments no less than 3x a week about my pregnancy status. Just this morning she said she was "expecting an announcement from me any day now".

I have shot her down many times already by saying the following:

- Wow, you seem really preoccupied by what's going on in my uterus

- Don't worry about it-- when there's something to tell, I will tell

- we have no immediate plans to TTC/ we changed our plans (which I struggled with saying-- since that's also none of her business, but said it out of desperation

- Are you asking me if I am pregnant?  If yes, I am going to go home and throw out this dress, since it seems to be so unflattering (I said this to her this morning, actually)

I am running out of ways to tell her to politely mind her own business.  Any ideas?  I am completely shocked by her persistence of the matter.

 

Virgo17

I think you've said just about everything I can think of.  She probably just has babies on the brain because of her own situation.

If you feel comfortable enough you could say "We are holding off TTC until we meet some other goals, so it's really pointless for you to keep asking me if I am pregnant right now."

You are being very kind and patient, I have to say.  I think I would have lost it on her by now.

NextChapter24

Could she be trying as well and worried that your maternity leaves will conflict? As weird as it is do you think she is trying to get a tentative "date" out you?

Other than that I have no suggestions. Like PP I would have been very blunt with her by now. Good luck!

cecilyandgautam

You've already said what would shut up most nosey coworkers. I guess she's really clueless. 

Only other idea is that you could try to redirect her, something along the lines of "Still not trying. I really need to focus on XYZ deliverable, if you don't mind." Are you two on the same team? If so, you could get really annoying and use every time she brings this up as an opportunity to imply she needs more work: "I've got work on my mind more than babies, but it sounds like you have some free time. Are you free to help me with XYZ deliverable?" That should send her running.  

Helenahhandbasket

NextChapter24:

Could she be trying as well and worried that your maternity leaves will conflict? As weird as it is do you think she is trying to get a tentative "date" out you?

Other than that I have no suggestions. Like PP I would have been very blunt with her by now. Good luck!

I hadn't thought of that, but it wouldn't matter because we work in different departments. 

Thanks for the responses!

michaelaskedlauren

Can you just point blank say: "I am not pregnant. Please stop asking me. It is making me uncomfortable."

Sometimes people just dont get it and I find that you have to be blunt with them at times.

IBackBevo

My thought process is that either she is having trouble TTC (and maybe thinks you are, too, and is looking for someone to confide in) or it is just on her brain a lot and so she asks. I honestly would not take it to mean much. If she keeps bugging you about it, I would just say something to the effect of: "Seriously, we aren't even trying right now so you won't be hearing any announcements."