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Attachment Parenting
AliciaS1411
member
XP- Separation Anxiety Help (long)
AliciaS1411
member
This is heart breaking. Its gotten bad with Elliot it seems...There have been signs I guess, and small bits of separation anxiety with him, but NOTHING like tonight or this morning was.
Elliot was up all night. no matter what I did, I couldn't sooth him or get him to sleep. I had no idea what it was, or what was wrong. Finally at 6 this morning when DH's alarm went off, I handed him to him and said, "please..please get him to sleep." I seriously was so exhausted..
I went to bed and DH rocked Elliot for about twenty minutes while I managed to sleep really hard for about 15. Then DH tried to lay him down so he could get ready for work and all hell broke loose. Elliot started screaming at the top of his lungs the second DH stopped touching him. I was rocking and swaying and shushing and offering a bottle and singing and nothing was working. I sat him in the floor to go get his blanket from his crib and he took off towards the bathroom door where DH was showered and he stood up and started hitting the door with both hands while he cried. I opened it and went in with him and he just sat in the floor outside the shower waiting for DH to be done. Then when he got out he watched him dry off and get ready. As soon as he had his pants on Elliot started pulling up and hugging his leg. DH got his shirt on then picked Elliot up and carried him while he got his things together and ate. Elliot was just laying his head on his shoulder and was totally pacified while DH had him. Then when he sat him down to put on his shoes Elliot lost it again. He seriously was clinging to DH's pants like it was the end of the world. DH picked him up, gave him hugs and kisses, then handed him to me, and again he lost it. He was kicking off of me and reaching for DH and pointing at him..
DH left and when he shut the door the shrill scream was back. I managed to get him to calm down and munch some cheerios after a few minutes but he was sobbing! even though he wasn't crying any more he kept sobbing. and about once a minute he would look at the door, point at it, look at me, and then his little lip would quiver and he'd start crying again. Once he finished his cheerios, I picked him up but he was pushing to get down. I put him down and (warning, heart break coming up) he started crawling around the house looking for him going, "da da da da da da da da."
I FINALLY got him to go to sleep by snuggling him in bed with one of DH's T-shirts on, and DH was on the phone talking to him.
Now he's asleep, but I'm wide awake (figures) and I'm worried about how were going to deal with this for now on if it becomes an everyday thing. thankfully DH is done with school next week and he'll be home for the summer. (he's a teacher)
Elliot was up all night. no matter what I did, I couldn't sooth him or get him to sleep. I had no idea what it was, or what was wrong. Finally at 6 this morning when DH's alarm went off, I handed him to him and said, "please..please get him to sleep." I seriously was so exhausted..
I went to bed and DH rocked Elliot for about twenty minutes while I managed to sleep really hard for about 15. Then DH tried to lay him down so he could get ready for work and all hell broke loose. Elliot started screaming at the top of his lungs the second DH stopped touching him. I was rocking and swaying and shushing and offering a bottle and singing and nothing was working. I sat him in the floor to go get his blanket from his crib and he took off towards the bathroom door where DH was showered and he stood up and started hitting the door with both hands while he cried. I opened it and went in with him and he just sat in the floor outside the shower waiting for DH to be done. Then when he got out he watched him dry off and get ready. As soon as he had his pants on Elliot started pulling up and hugging his leg. DH got his shirt on then picked Elliot up and carried him while he got his things together and ate. Elliot was just laying his head on his shoulder and was totally pacified while DH had him. Then when he sat him down to put on his shoes Elliot lost it again. He seriously was clinging to DH's pants like it was the end of the world. DH picked him up, gave him hugs and kisses, then handed him to me, and again he lost it. He was kicking off of me and reaching for DH and pointing at him..
DH left and when he shut the door the shrill scream was back. I managed to get him to calm down and munch some cheerios after a few minutes but he was sobbing! even though he wasn't crying any more he kept sobbing. and about once a minute he would look at the door, point at it, look at me, and then his little lip would quiver and he'd start crying again. Once he finished his cheerios, I picked him up but he was pushing to get down. I put him down and (warning, heart break coming up) he started crawling around the house looking for him going, "da da da da da da da da."
I FINALLY got him to go to sleep by snuggling him in bed with one of DH's T-shirts on, and DH was on the phone talking to him.
Now he's asleep, but I'm wide awake (figures) and I'm worried about how were going to deal with this for now on if it becomes an everyday thing. thankfully DH is done with school next week and he'll be home for the summer. (he's a teacher)
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Re: XP- Separation Anxiety Help (long)
Sad... sounds like a phase and that you pulled some good tricks out to manage. My DS went through a bit of that when I would leave the house. I just tried to leave in small doses so that he got used to me leaving and coming back. We also joined a gym that watches him, and that's what I did there until he was comfortable. (20 minutes a time for a few days, and then upped it slowly from there.) At the gym, it took about a week and now DS runs ahead of me to get there and doesn't even say good-bye.
We had a 'daddy awakening' a couple of months ago. DH hasn't left town since before that, and he's currently packing up the car for a 1-week trip. I'm a little curious (aka terrified) about how it's going to go while he's gone. We are setting up Skype dates, and I may take your idea to wear a t-shirt of his at bedtime.
Hang in there!
OP, how heartbreaking! But it sounds like you've done a wonderful job in handling it. I wish I had some advice to share, but we haven't really hit that phase. Good luck and hang in there!