Pg loss vent

awesnap

Pg lossvent

Well my SIL drama continues. For those that dont know my story we were pregnant together due 10 days apart and she terminated her pregnancy because it was not viable. I've been checking in with her, trying to support her, as that what she said she wanted.

She has insulted me a few times, made false accusations of things that I have done, basically said I was the reason that we are not close, but it doesnt matter to her that much because others support her better than I do. I had been trying to give her some slack since she's hurting.

Then she told me that her miscarriage was worse tgan mine because hers went to 12 weeks and mine was
earlier, that I shouldnt have anxiety at all because I had my rainbow and imagine what she will have to go through if they try again. If circumstances were different I would have so cussed her out. I told her very politely that her comment was hurtful and I didn't feel comfortable talking to her about pregnancy or loss anymore. I am done.

Junebug060609

Having had both an early and a late first tri loss, and one both before and after ds...they both suck. There are things that are harder and easier about both, but no matter how you slice it, they both suck. I'm sorry she said that to you.

s0ulchicken

That stinks. I am sorry that she is hurting and in such a bad place, and I am sorry that she was so hurtful to you.

Mom2anAngel2

I am sorry you are dealing with this. I agree with PPs. A loss is a loss. I have never, and hope to never, experience an early loss, as we lost our son at 19 weeks. But I began to love my babies the minute the test turned positive, and would mourn them at what ever stage one was lost. Each loss has its own difficulties, and for me it was having to be induced and deliver our son sleeping. But, that also gave me the opportunity to hold him and say goodbye.

It sounds like she is in a lot of pain, but I completely understand you giving up on trying to support her. It is difficult to try and constantly be put down.

hopefulmom81

I am so sorry that she is being hurtful and lashing out at you in the midst of her pain.  I think one of the pathologies of pain is that some people try to "one up" their pain and try to make it so much worse than someone else's.  Losing a baby is losing a baby.  I think you handled it very tactfully and are smart for being the one who didn't say anything they might regret.  I bet when she comes through the pain of her loss, she will look back and feel awful for being hurtful to you.

adoxyinherear

I am so sorry she is lashing out at you It sounds like she's in a really bad place. I hope she comes around and for now, take care of yourself. You've done what you can. *hugs*

awesnap

Thanks ladies. This whole situation sucks.  

MJM3108

hopefulmom81:

I am so sorry that she is being hurtful and lashing out at you in the midst of her pain.  I think one of the pathologies of pain is that some people try to "one up" their pain and try to make it so much worse than someone else's.  Losing a baby is losing a baby.  I think you handled it very tactfully and are smart for being the one who didn't say anything they might regret.  I bet when she comes through the pain of her loss, she will look back and feel awful for being hurtful to you.

This exactly. I am so sorry she said those hurtful things to you...  

jertie

That is horrible. I know that she's hurting, angry and lashing out - but her comments were really uncalled for.  I've had a very early loss and a late loss and both sucked.  Pretty much as soon as you see those 2 little pink lines the mothering instinct kicks in, the dreaming begins and you start imagining what he/she will be like - and then to find out that the dreams won't be realized is devestating. I'm very sorry that she said that to you and I'm glad that you stood up for yourself.  I think that what you said was perfect and I hope that when she's feeling a little better she realizes how wrong and inappropriate she was (and apologizes).  (HUGS)