Should I get pregnant with my soon to be ex husband?

bmabreu · May 2013

I am 27 years old and I have a 3 year old from a previous relationship. My 3 year old's father and I never got married but he is the most amazing father I could have ever hoped for. Currently, Im married to who I thought was my soul mate but it turns out he doesn't like the hard work a marriage takes so he wants a divorce. According to him he is in no rush to divorce but does not love me anymore and is not attracted to my personality any longer. I am here because I always wanted two children, especially before 30 and close in age. I got pregnant but had a miscarriage due to cervical cancer. Though we had talked about divorce he tells me he wanted the child and if it would have been anyone it be with me. So should I get pregnant by him or not? I am prepared to raise it alone but I'm sure that wouldn't be the case. I do love him, we are married and I am financially stable for a second child. I know he will be a great father. Let me know what I should do or if im crazy to even think this.

forrystar · May 2013

No...I don't know you or your situation but this doesn't sound like a remotely good idea. You're still so young and will find someone who truly loves you and wants to take care of you, please wait for him. Then have your baby. Good luck.

Jess C · May 2013

Think of how you would explain the situation to the child? We knew we were getting a divorce, but decided to throw you into the mess anyway? In my opinion, not a good idea for the child's sake. You still have so much time left. Best of luck to you!

kdjudd · May 2013

I can understand wanting a child, but you need to think about what kind of environment you would be bringing that child into. An unhealthy marriage is no place for a child to live.

Runaway22 · May 2013

Yes, you're crazy for considering it.

FemShep · May 2013

I really hope this is MUD. If it isn't, NO, of course you shouldn't have a child with the man you're about to divorce. If he can't handle the hard work of a marriage, he certainly can't handle the hard work of being a parent. And "knowing he'll be a great dad" is ridiculous. I bet you knew he would be a great husband too.

FFC. Grow up and think of your child's needs before your own wants.

Courtimilk · May 2013

I say get your divorce and have a one-night stand with the 3 year old's father because he is already a wonderful father. Just don't push for child support with this one since you are already comfortable with the idea of raising it on your own.

SmileyJay · May 2013

This is just awful. What a pig to tell someone "I'm no longer attracted to your personality... but I would appreciate it if we could procreate just because I want a child." You are more than a baby maker and I think this is a horrible idea. I can not imagine being a child who grows up knowing that is the situation they were created in. It's not going to keep him around and it will definitely not help you move on.

Shopaholic30 · May 2013

This has got to be a joke..........

jtwhitworth · May 2013

This is a ridiculous question. There is no way you should plan to have a child with someone you are about to divorce. It is not fair to bring a child into that mess. I agree with another poster that if this man is not ready for a marriage, he damn sure isn't ready for a child!

proudworkingmom82 · May 2013

I don't think this is a wise idea, it wouldn't be good for you or your child. You have plenty of time to meet someone who loves you back that you can have a second child with.