So bummed...tell me I'm being silly

womancake

I gave birth to V at a freestanding birth center with midwives.  Unmedicated childbirth was no picnic, but I couldn't have asked for a better experience.  I was able to move around however I needed during labor (even got to step outside for a while).  I could eat and drink during labor, and I think they were even giving me Powerade and water while I was pushing...it's hazy.    V never left my side, I didn't have to fight against any procedures I didn't want, and we were able to go home within 5 hours of her birth.  It was awesome.

I've been seeing the same midwives at the same center for this pregnancy.  I knew things wouldn't be the same, because 2 of the 3 midwives are pregnant, and due before me, so they won't be attending my birth.  I found out yesterday that the other mw is going to be moving, and they haven't found anyone to take her place, so the center will be temporarily closing in July, until the preggos come back from maternity leave, too late for my birth.  We don't feel like home birth is a good fit for us, so that leaves me looking at the hospital.

I know people give birth in the hospital all the time and it's no big deal.  But after how spoiled I was last time, I'm worried that I'm going to have to fight for my wishes, and that I won't be in control of my own body or my own baby.  Tell me I'm being ridiculous and that I can have a great natural birth experience in the hospital.  

womancake

MsGrace2003:

That really stinks.  I didn't have a natural birth experience; I had enough complications for 3 people.  However, I have a friend who had a natural birth at a hospital, and she said that while her experience was pretty good, she's going to have a doula next time to be her advocate.  After my terrible experience, I believe in being my own advocate, but it is hard when you're in labor.  She said that the doula would be the go-between between her and the hospital staff, so that she wouldn't have to fight them while she was laboring.  Could this be an option for you?

I've been thinking about that.  I just need to look into costs and see if it's something we can afford.  We may end up paying less out of pocket at the hospital since our insurance covered the birth center as an out of network provider (only paid 60 or 70%) so that may free up some funds.  Thanks for keeping it real about your experience, and I'm sorry it wasn't great. 

srj88

I ended up having a home birth, but I thought I was going to have to go with a hospital birth for a while (we lived in a really rural area at the time). I read a wonderful book called Homebirth in the Hospital by Stacey Marie Kerr. I highly recommend it if you think you're going to end up in this situation.

womancake

srj88:

I ended up having a home birth, but I thought I was going to have to go with a hospital birth for a while (we lived in a really rural area at the time). I read a wonderful book called Homebirth in the Hospital by Stacey Marie Kerr. I highly recommend it if you think you're going to end up in this situation.

Oh, that sounds perfect!  And I just checked, and they have it at my library!  Thank you so much...I will absolutely check that out.  

carolyn6609

I had an unmedicated birth at a hospital and it was totally fine. I didn't have all the perks (don't think they would have let me outside, and I didn't eat during labor, although I was there less than 6 hours before she was born so it wasn't really on my radar either), but I never felt pressured into anything I didn't want. They asked me once when I first arrived what I planned on for pain management and it was never brought up again. I was allowed to be up and moving around and labor in whatever position I wanted.  I saw a midwife for my prenatal care, but it was an OB on call for delivery when L was born, and really all she did was catch and then stitch me up, so she didn't say much of anything either way.  I know a lot of this will all depend on the hospital you're at as well as your nurses, doctors, etc, but I just wanted to share a positive experience with you!

mnewlee

I completely understand being bummed. I had an unmedicated birth at a hospital. It wasn't exactly how I wanted but that was mainly due to my Dr. being  a no nonsense b*tch. I'm sure you'll have better luck than that I think as long as you go in there with a solid plan and thoroughly educated on what you do and don't want you'll be just fine. 

It is hard to be your own advocate while in labor so make sure your H is on board and knows to step in and speak for you. Mine was pretty good about it but was kind of in a daze from the whirlwind of the day.

 

manda26

I had a c/s so no advice on the birthing, etc at a hospital. But I think in your circumstance it is totally normal to feel like you do about the situation! I would be bummed too!