Help me birth without fear

vwsfy6

Background : My son was born at home a little over a year and a half ago. My labor was long and hard, and I know it was hard for my husband to watch.  I handled the pain well and never thought about wanting any relief, but the pool.  My son was born kicking and screaming, using his beautiful and powerful lungs.  He was/is perfect.  *** hit the fan when it came to delivering my placenta.  I bled out, lost more than half my body's blood, and needed to transfer to the hospital in an ambulance. During this process, my husband saw me faint several times, fall to the floor, not to mention the amount of blood was traumatic enough (all while holding his minutes old baby).  

I will have another home birth this time (29 weeks pregnant).  I know that what happened would have also happened in the hospital. I know that a retained placenta last time, does not mean one this time.  I am more afraid/ uncomfortable with being in the hospital, than I am with another home birth. My labor/birth was relaxing and lovely, with candles lit, my own bed etc. I loved being at home. There is just a tickle in my brain that has me afraid that there will be another complication this time.  My husband is terrified, but supports me so he tries to keep it to himself.

 I know I'm rambling, it's just hard to put in words.  Thanks for any advice! 

 

brennarobbie

Do you pray? That's what you can do if you do. Give it to Big Man, as I call him. Ask him to remove your doubts. If you don't pray, try using positive messages for yourself to help you to remove the fears.

Good luck, mama! )

headgear03

To offer some encouragement and some possible relief I too had retained placenta with my first . I had a natural water birth at a free standing birth center ten miles from the local hospital . I ended up getting transferred to the hospital as well and received a blood transfusion because of severe blood loss. My poor hubby also had to hold our daughter after her birth and basically was on his own so I know exactly where your fears lie and how scary the thought of that happening can be agian for you and your hubby . Since that first birth I have gone on to having two more natural water births with no complications during or after and I'm currently planing my fourth water birth . We pay extra attention to where the placenta is located just to ease or mind about scar tissue however the likely hood of you having another retained placenta is very slim . Please please please don't let your first experience over shadow your hopes for your next . After researching and talking to allot of people after my first birth I found out retained placenta is actually rather commen and most women go on to have many more children with no complications so your chances of having the birth and post pardom experience you want are very high ! I hope I could help some if you have anymore questions just ask I'm happy to help anyway I can .

MitoRachel

I can't help with your specific case, but I have had some health issues over the years that have caused the crisis type mode to kick in. For DH and me it helps to have both a prevention plan and a "what if this happens again" plan. Even though you don't need to do anything it might help give you peace of mind if you could find, with the help of your midwife, herbal remedies or foods that might help deliver the placenta. Also, if worse should come to worse and you should find yourself in the same situation are there even little things you and your husband could do that might help make the situation less traumatizing? Though it sounds like your chances of the same thing happening again are not high at all. 

*LrCg*

I think the fact that you are addressing it is a BIG step!  Keep talking about it- talk about it with your midwife, talk about what she can do next time, just talk!  Does she carry pitocin (I have a CNM midwife that does homebirths so she does carry stuff like that for emergencies)? 

My 1st birth was a homebirth- very beautiful and fun!  My 2nd, I had a 80% placenta abruption at 37 weeks (not in labor at the time).  We obviously went to the hospital and because our LO's heartbeat dropped so fast in the 10 min we were there I had an emergency c-section.  Emergency meaning, no pain medication at all (LO was born in less than 15 min of arriving at the hospital- they only asked me my name, what I was allergic to and if I had a living will).  They orginally told me it would be under general since there was no time for an epi but when we got to the OR they couldn't find the heartbeat so I consented to do it right there.  They said I was pass out from all the blood loss and the pain (I didn't). It was very traumtic to say the least.  It took A TON of soul searching to decide if we would ever have another.  But we did and the worst thing I did was not address my fears enough.  We met with specialist about placenta abruptions and I felt confident in a HVBAC and I felt confident I wouldn't have another abruption but I didn't deal with that experience- I just blocked it out.  I just kept thinking of my 1st birth and when my water broke with my 3rd, all I could think about was my 2nd birth and it really stalled me.  My midwife talked me through it alot and gave me this amazing homeopathic stuff called rescue remedy and it helped calm me and I went ahead with a great birth! 

I feel I understand a bit about what your going through and I feel for you.  Best of luck to you.