I can't decide

TCMom78

I can't decide if I'm disappointed or relieved. A partner just asked me to be at a client pitch tomorrow afternoon, in DC. I'd have to hop on a 6 am flight and I only just found out about the last minute meeting at 10 pm. My DH has a work dinner tomorrow night and so I have to be home to relieve our nanny and do bedtime. Plus, my laptop and good pump are in the office. I probably could have rearranged things and done the trip, gone without the laptop and brought the spare pump, but I said no. I just don't know if I'm happy that I did that or not. I'm sure ill be judged a little for it, and I didn't say why I couldn't do the trip, just that I couldn't make arrangements. What would you have done? A part of me wishes I said yes and made it happen.

LoCarb

That's a tough one. It sounds like things would be more stressful and on a time constraint if you did go to DC.  Anything could happen-delayed flight in the evening that would even cause more issues. Sometimes you just can take the risk.  Hopefully, next time you are asked to pitch to a client at the last minute everything else will fall into place (ie: your H will be home, laptop close by).

QueSrah

I think it's reasonable to say no to rearranging your schedule on 8 hours notice, particularly when you would normally be asleep for most of those hours.  I mean, to get to a 6 am flight, you'd have to be up by 4 am, so between 10 pm and 4 am you'd have to potentially cancel any meetings you had on your work schedule, rearrange any personal commitments, and then find a way to sleep to be mentally prepped for a presentation you weren't already prepared for?  That's not a whole lot of time to get ready to be productive for your employer.  (And that's aside from all the stress of hoping you'd be home from your flight after an afternoon pitch in time to relieve your nanny.)  I'd be quite relieved to not go through all of that.

Virgo17

That's a tough one.  I wouldn't necessarily feel guilty about not being able to swing it with barely any notice.  That could be hard for anyone, not just someone with kids.  If it works out next time and you are able to go, then fine, but don't feel bad about this.

Also, I'd be worried about setting a precedent about being available at a moment's notice.  That could be a slippery slope too.

st.augbride

No, I wouldn't have. I started back at work this week and at the last minute they changed our regular friday group meeting to where our collaborators are at (which is a 1-2hr drive depending on traffic). This would mean that I wouldn't be home for my typical daycare pickup and would have no time with my kids before dinner and bed, let alone I have no idea how I'd pump. To me, that's unnacceptable and I immediately said the timing wouldn't work for me without providing details as to why. It won't always be like this, but right now I have young kids and they need to come before my career. I will just be less efficient and productive for a few years and I'm ok with that.

ETA: We also have 3 out of state conferences coming up that I 'should' be at, but won't be this year. Next year, I will go.

TCMom78

"Also, I'd be worried about setting a precedent about being available at a moment's notice. That could be a slippery slope too."

Good point! Maybe I dodged a bullet. Got an email this morning that they will use someone else for the pitch. I am trying not to feel bad.