Scared about possible delays..

agapeflower117

Hi -- I'm new to this board, never posted here before...and I really need help, I'm so worried.  

My 9 month old just had his well-visit, and the pedi was concerned because he didn't lift his head up as she was gently pulling him up by the wrists.  He also didn't respond to her when she called his name, and so she wants him to come in again in six weeks.  I didn't know what to do, so I went directly to the Internet, and I'm worried that he's showing early signs of autism, because both of those things are "red flags."  Of course, they could also not be.  With the not-responding to his name...the thing is, he does it, but not very often.  He responds to his name like 2% of the time.  And when he doesn't do it, it's because he's doing something else - playing with a toy, fiddling with something, etc.  It's not like he's just staring out a window and not responding.  But it is concerning.  And the whole lifting his neck up when you try to pull him up by his arms - again, he can do it, he just doesn't do it often, and I don't know how often is often enough.

But the second part of the problem is that this is kicking my anxiety into high gear. It all turns into a huge spiral of horribleness and I end up doing nothing but just sitting here thinking of worse case scenarios.

 

I know that there's not much for me to do except wait for the next appointment, but does anyone have any advice? I really, really appreciate it...thank you!!

greengirl0909

I'm right there with you. Our LO just passed a year and although he's been meeting most of his milestones, sorta fell behind between a 10 months and a year.  I have been googling like mad looking for a definitive answer, because knowing at least what might be going on seems better than wondering.

In our case, we went ahead and scheduled a visit to an early intervention program so that we could have some experts evaluate him. I think in most states the eval is free.  Waiting 6 months sounds like torture to me. 
GL

wellfleet04

I've been right where you are, and it's no fun.  The biggest advice I can give you is to step away from the Google.  It's not helpful, and it just feeds anxiety.  Whatever is going on (or not going on) with your LO is going to happen regardless of how much you worry or stress.  What you can control is how you react.  I wasted SO much time internet diagnosing my child and worrying about her future when she was too young to truly know what was going on.  And what is actually going on is not any of the things I wasted time worrying about.  

I would listen to your doctor.  Schedule an EI evaluation if you think that would help ease your mind to be taking some action.  And then try to get a handle on your own anxiety.  In my experience that's the best thing you can do for yourself AND for your child.  I feel so badly that I missed out on those months of my daughter's babyhood because I was stressed, sad and constantly scrutinizing her for "symptoms" and "red flags."   

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agapeflower117

-auntie-:

I'm sorry you are in an anxious place right now. It probably is best, as others stated, to stay away from Dr. Google. He's not your friend.

Your doctor's plan to re-visit this soon suggests a sense of urgency on their part. It might be wise to self refer to your state's Early Intervention and start the ball rolling on an eval now rather than endure another 2 months of worry. If he does have delays, they can work with you to help him catch up on skills rather than you trying to do it alone. It would be better to keep an open mind than to try to come up with justifications for why the doctor isn't seeing the skills appropriate to his age.

I've seen the studies that associate "head lag" with autism. These were done using infants who were deemed at risk because they had an older sib with a an ASD dx. Not sure how they translate into the mainstream world. Head lag can be associated with other delays, CP and even prematurity. FWIW, DS has an autism dx and lost the head lag by 2 months.

https://www.autismspeaks.org/science/science-news/head-lag-red-flag

Not responding to the doctor calling his name is worrisome. Most kids would be more likely to respond to an adult they don't know by this age rather than tuning out. Well developing kids are hardwired for social interaction and most would fine a person engaging them more appealing than a toy. Has his hearing been checked?

The concept of a person with autism staring out the window is sort of passe and vaguely insulting. Kids with autism who do hyperfocus are often watching some sort of pattern; others may be having absence seizures.

 

 

 

Oh I'm sorry! I didn't mean to be insulting at all -- and thank you for the comment! His hearing is fine, and he does respond to others when he has his name called, but he didn't do it for the doctor, and that's why I was worried.  

I'm also wondering if the head lag may have to do with his weight - he's been underweight his whole life (constantly under 1% on the curve), although he's been growing on his own curve.  It sounds silly, but maybe his head is too heavy?

I just don't know what to think of it all, but thank you all so much for the good information.  I know my anxiety level being kicked up isn't the best thing, either - I'll definitely work to get a handle on that, too.

Thanks again!  

shunt1983

I'd say get hearing checked again my daughter has spd probably didn't respond at that age I wish I had a dr more pushing for evaluations you have a good dr.  Don't google just work with your kid or if your district has it I'd have infant toddler eval done.