Newer to the Bump

Michelle3081

I am considered a Newbie to The Bump.  I observed some boards and participated in only a few so far.  There are certain boards where people are downright rude to new bumpies.  

Are there any boards that you recommend avoiding?

Also, how does the Block button work? Does it both block you from seeing certain screennames and does it prevent those screennames from seeing your posts?

Dr.Loretta

Here's how it works:

Lurk for a while, get the feel of a board. If you like it, see if you need to do an intro (you can usually tell from the posts) or if you can just jump in. Then go wild Be prepared to have thick skin (I've been at least mildly flamed on most boards I've participated in, NBD), and never, ever delete. The Bump never forgets, and you will be remembered as someone who just can't handle criticism.

I always compare it to going to a dinner party. You wouldn't usually just walk up to people in the middle of a conversation and start telling them your deepest feelings, you'd introduce yourself and ease into the conversation. There are so many boards these days, I couldn't possibly tell you which are more dramatic or tight-knit than others. And it can ebb and flow.

Yes, I believe the Block button works both ways.

SparksEm

Thanks for the info Dr.

CaliforniaDream87

You need to lurk the boards. There is board etiquette and you definitely want to learn that first.

Also, just like in real life there are always people that you will consider "rude".

Toshi6

Thanks for posting this. I'm a true blue newbie here on the bump. I've been  on the nest & the knot & avoiding this site, but now I need it. It's good to see the response(s) on this forum. I haven't really posted yet, so I haven't experienced. 1 thing I will say is that there is a difference between criticism and just plain being rude, so which one are you experiencing? Because the response says she deals with the criticism, but you said that they were being rude.

Dr.Loretta

Toshi6:

Thanks for posting this. I'm a true blue newbie here on the bump. I've been  on the nest & the knot & avoiding this site, but now I need it. It's good to see the response(s) on this forum. I haven't really posted yet, so I haven't experienced. 1 thing I will say is that there is a difference between criticism and just plain being rude, so which one are you experiencing? Because the response says she deals with the criticism, but you said that they were being rude.

No, I said she would be *seen* as someone who can't handle criticism.

A good chunk of time, someone is flamed for either 1) asking a question that's been asked 239847 that day and hasn't bothered to see other posts about it, 2) asking a question that's sensitive or inappropriate for the board/situation (announcing a pg as a first post on a TTTC board, giving any indication you know nothing about your body but think you do, etc), or 3) getting defensive when someone calls you out, even mildly.

It's a public, semi-anonymous message board. People will hide behind their SNs to be more blunt than they would in real life. Such is the nature of the beast.

Terri3810

My two birth month boards were awesome but I experienced 2 mc's recently and I've been feeling out the ttcal board and miscarriage board, didnt fit in with miscarriage and ttcal well not very nice to newbies. I mobile bump so I don't see sigs and tickers.
Frustrated because I didn't feel there was a rule book. Guess I need to just "lurk" ?

Dr.Loretta

Terri3810:

My two birth month boards were awesome but I experienced 2 mc's recently and I've been feeling out the ttcal board and miscarriage board, didnt fit in with miscarriage and ttcal well not very nice to newbies. I mobile bump so I don't see sigs and tickers. Frustrated because I didn't feel there was a rule book. Guess I need to just "lurk" ?

Yes

Part of what you're experiencing could be raw emotions from others who've had losses. I'm not defending them, just explaining a potential mindset. FWIW, I never much cared for the loss boards as they weren't what I was looking for in a board at the time.

I'm sorry for your losses. I've been there.

Terri3810

Thank you. I understand the emotions as I'm on hormone roller coaster and trying to figure out what's next.
I didn't realize as a 35 year old woman I'd be trying to "fit in" again. I loved the nest and the knot, but on receiving end of some harshness.
Also didnt realize there was this board as I mobile bump on iPhone and don't see all of what I would on computer.
Thanks dr Loretta.
And looks as though I made another foul I deleted a post that was taken out of context. Uugghgh
Can I just scream?

hooligans4

the over 35 boards are def. the best.  the women are supportive and non judgemental.   it seems like they follow the rule if you dont have anything nice to say dont say anything at all. 

squintee

Yeah, it can be hard to feel like you are in high school again (that's what my first try on the bump felt like... popularity contests full of drama) but i'm trying to avoid the boards with the high flame rates... and lurk. I don't know if I will ever be a "regular" poster again, but we'll see.