It has been a while but I need some Potty Training advice...won't poop!!!

KGF625 · April 2013

Hey! So I have done all of the reading up on potty training but here I am doing this in real life and I feel like I am so lost and such a failure! My son will be 3 on June 25th. He is pretty good about peeing in the potty, although I feel like I am always having to tell him to go, he never actually tells me. Once we are in there, he does it no problem, he isn't afraid or anything like that.

When it comes to pooping, he just won't do it. I will sit him there and he will not go but will go and sneak and go in his underwear! He understands he should go in the potty, we have a special prize set up for him when he does that he really wants, but it obviously isn't motivating enough.

As far as night goes, since day 1 i put him in underwear overnight and he has never had an accident. He stays dry all night and into the morning, no issues at all.

I feel like he is ready but obviously that just may not be the case. He is a very smart boy, advanced in most areas, so I don't get what is going on or what to do next?! I don't know if I should just give up for a while since this pooping thing just doesn't seem to be happening! Incentives don't really work with him bc he is at that stage where he will just throw a fit until he gets whatever the prize is so it becomes more trouble than it is worth.

I should also say I haven't been using pull ups, even though it is a mess, I stick to underwear because I have read and heard from other moms that pull ups can hinder progress.

Any advice would be wonderful because I feel like a failure!

rjeller32 · May 2013

I agree with the Pull Ups thing, we started off with underwear too. With pooping, it can be tricky. I worked at a daycare and dealt with MANY toddlers who had this issue. A lot of times, it is a fear issue. They feel like they are losing a part of themselves (yep, their poop), so they hide and do it, or even hold it to avoid pooping. Pooping on a toilet is a big milestone, so it can be tricky. My LO and I started the PT adventure in January, and she didn't start consistently pooping in the toilet until about mid-March.

She would always poop her pants, while hiding in her playroom. As rough as it was, I would just keep asking her if she had to go, and then one day it just clicked and she started pooping in her toilet. When she did, I was extremely over-dramatic about it, and she got to pick her treat. Making them feel good about it is really important to get them to continue. We did prizes, and my LO would throw a fit if she got one, but I just never gave in and gave it to her if she didn't pee/poop in her potty. We sang songs, I would applaud, dance, sing and praise her if she did. I probably looked like an idiot, but it really worked.

With all that said, I think a good rule to follow with PTing is once you start to revert, otherwise you risk confusing your child. It can cause them to wonder why sometimes it's okay to go in your pants and sometimes it's not.

You are definitely not a failure, keep at it. Hope any of that helped. I wrote a little about my hardships PTing, maybe it can help you feel better! GL!

hoping4sticky · May 2013

It took my DD a few weeks after being pee trained to poop in the potty, it is pretty common. One thing that helped us was that we stopped asking her when she had to go. We told her that she knows what to do now, she can manage everythign but wiping by herself so we stopped asking her and just reminded her occasionally to keep her underwear dry and stinky free.

For older kids I know that others have had their kids ask for a pull up if they need to poop and then you help him flush it in the toliet where poopy goes. You can then start making him use the pullup in the bathroom, and then on the toliet. We didn't have to go this route, but I think it is more common as they get older. I wouldn't quit now, if he is doing good on the pee, stick it out and it will come. GL

sschwege · May 2013

Does he have a certain place where he always goes? Could you put the potty there? DD always play with her Little People while she's pooping. Not sure when it started, but has been doing it for awhile. Anyway, when she has to poop I just put the potty down in front of where her Little People are set up and she goes right there.