What is the GC/IP relationship like?

Minipenguin

If you used a GC or are one yourself, what is the relationship like? I am considering becoming a surrogate (still in the early phase, will wait until LO is older but doing some research until then). Do the IPs just kind of pay the bills and then show up at the birth? Do they come to the "big" appointments (anatomy scan, NT, etc, etc)? Do you stay in contact after the baby is born? And what happens in the hospital? Do they stay there for the 2 days (for a vaginal birth) or do they get to take the baby home early? Do they just pop in and visit in the hospital?

Was your relationship with the GC/IP what you wanted it to be or did you want more/less contact?

Just trying to get an idea of what it's like. I'm sorry if this was in any way insensitive or the wrong place to ask. TIA!

Minipenguin

hmm.. It is interesting that people fall onto such different ends of the spectrum, in the same circumstance. Thanks for the response!

Mama-Bear

Ditto exactly what strudel said.  This is my first GC pg so I don't know if we'll keep in contact after the birth or not.  My IP's live 6 hours away so there's not very involved with going to the doc appts, but I keep them updated as well as possible.  They went to the big u/s at 18w, and they came in for another appt at 33w (nothing special at that one, they just wanted to come for another appt and we toured the hospital).  They'll come in for the birth and I imagine they'll stay at least 2 days even though I'll probably leave after 1 day.  You definitely need to decide what YOU want first, then try to find IP's that feel the same way.  My IP's and I have agreed to see how we all feel about contact after the birth (I didn't want any promises of contact and them change their mind, so we're all staying open to ideas and how we feel).  Even if we stay in contact, unless they want me to carry for them again, I doubt I'll actually "see" them or the baby once they head back home, I don't see me lugging my 3 kids there and I don't see them coming here.  Either way I'm fine with, my IP's are great and I'd love to continue contact, but at the same time, I didn't do this to have a new BFF, I did this to help an amazing couple become parents.