Plate of goodies and a sign about impending baby. There are now 4 (of 30) people at work with kids on the way. 2 of them work right next to me and across from me is a gal who just came back from maternity leave (who I didn't count in the 4).
It'd be one thing if it was just the announcement, but it's the
CONSTANT baby/pregnancy talk around me (see above) that is the worst.
It's always the first thing in the morning, which really just crushes my whole demeanor/day. I hate that it upsets me so much. I choked back tears and turned up my headphones.
Mister D tried to cheer me up with "we'll be there someday" but... but... the grief over our losses just hurt so bad.
merw. I'm a sad kitten today.
BzeetyD = 38, Mr. BzeetyD = 44 together 12/02 married 9/08
TTC #1 since 1/10
DX: Unexplained/??? MFI issues
Our lil' lost sparks:
5w3d loss 7/30/10 - EDD March 2011
8w loss 4/15/11 - EDD November 2011
8w3d loss 8/2/12 - EDD March 2013
4w c/p loss 10/29/12 - EDD July 2013
Long story: trying on our own + testing testing testing with 6 rounds of Clomid, more testing, injectables + TI, laparoscopy - one tube blocked,
2 IUIs with Follistim...BFNs.
RPL testing all normal, Karyotyping normal
Moving on to IVF.
IVF #1 April 2012 = BFN, IVF #2 June 2012 = BFP. U/S 7/23 = saw heartbeat but measuring behind. Follow up U/S on 7/30 - no heartbeat. D&C 8/2. Trisomy 12. IVF #3 Oct 2012 = Chemical Pregnancy
Phone consult with CCRM on 12/12/12 - ODWU 1/4/13 - both tubes clear(!) - AFC 24, AMH 3.2, FSH 9.6, LH 5.4, E2 25. DH has high frag rate but improved!
IVF #4 March 2013 CCRM. EP protocol w/ Menopur, Gonal-F & Dexamethasone. ER 3/29 & IMSI, PICSI. 43R 13M 10F 6blasts bio'd. CCS testing reveals 3 normals!!!
FET 5/31/13 of 1 4AA blast - thawed and expanded. 4dp5dt BFP.
Beta 9dp5dt = 181, 11dp5dt = 427. 1st u/s showed a healthy heartbeat! EDD 2/16/14
After 4 years of hoping and heartbreak, our sweet little bean was born on 2/19/14
We are so in love with her.
"I'm not telling you it's going to be easy, I'm telling you it's going to be worth it."
Everybody is welcome!!!