disappointed and confused [[vent]]

LittleMrsAC

ok so I just got the go ahead from hubby that we will be ttc. worked at it yesterday and now today he says that we are not ttc. we are working on saving up money and we will start ttc in a few months. I recently lost a pregnancy and I'm just so ahgalkdgfjaldfj right now. what the heck? I was finally feeling normal again and looking forward to things - feeling like i was finally getting back to being my normal hopeful self and now I'm just disappointed and confused. it's obviously too early, but shouldn't he have been sure before he decided to try yesterday? grumble grumble grumble.  i want to cry.

krdesi

Tell your husband how you feel.

It's not just HIS decision and you BOTH should be able to go forward together and make a mutual decision.

pantherRN

I'm sorry you are feeling this way, but tell your diary and your husband how you feel. 

What do you want us to do? 

curlylocks3

I'm sorry for your loss. 
I agree its frustrating to get mixed messages on anything, but especially on something as big as TTC. I would suggest having a sit down conversation with your husband when you are feeling a little calmer (aka can do without breaking down) and discuss how you feel about it. You can discuss what your goals, financial or otherwise, are before having a baby. It might not change his mind on TTC now, but it will hopefully get you guys on the same page about it all. 

CMSullivan326

Yeah, this is definitely something you need to be sitting down with him and talking about.

I'm sorry for your loss and GL!

Cara1024

I'm sorry for your loss. That must have been hard to hear today after getting your hopes up to try again. Tell him how you feel and if you do still need to wait to TTC then try to work on something during that time to maybe get your mind off of the wait. ie exercise, hobbies, home updates, book club... Any sort of distraction that can help you pass the time easier and may give you something else to look forward to.

quidditchcapn1120

I'm so sorry about your loss. I am sure it has to hurt a bit to go through that and then have your DH say it's a no go after he gave the go ahead.

It is something you're going to have to sit down with your DH to work through, though. Be gentle with both yourself and him though. Keep in mind that even though they might not show it, DH's hurt after losses too. Maybe he is scared it will happen again and doesn't want to hurt you by bringing it up? Or maybe the reality of being pregnant once sank in and he realized that you do need to save more.

Whatever his reasoning, he has it, and you'll have to hash it out to figure out what it is. I wish you the best of luck going forward.

sunlavender

pantherRN:

I'm sorry you are feeling this way, but tell your diary and your husband how you feel. 

What do you want us to do? 

you.

Ladiebug710

I am very sorry for your loss.  I understand wanting to get back to work TTC right away.  I agree with others that you and your husband need to talk.  He needs to know how you feel.  Men and women deal with loss in different ways and he may be avoiding TTC due to fear of it happening again.  As far as waiting for money, I don't know that anyone ever feels "ready."

TwoFaceTTGP

You need to talk to your husband and tell him how you feel.

I am sorry for your loss.