I'm crashing for some advice! (Serious topic) — The Bump
Dads & Dads-to-be

I'm crashing for some advice! (Serious topic)

Hey guys! Sorry to crash your board Smile

I need some guy perspective for a second. I am so blessed because my husband is super involved in our first pregnancy. We are currently 16 weeks into it and he is handling it (and me!) better than I could have ever imagined. And yet, I have this intense anger towards him and keep imagining him cheating on me. We did have an issue six months before our wedding where I found out he had been cheating with an ex girlfriend on and off for almost our entire relationship. We went through counseling and both got to a much better place. Now, over 2 years later, I am getting huge and pregnant, with a weird sex drive, and I can't help thinking it is going to happen again. He keeps assuring me that it would never happen again, always ending the conversation with "Besides, we're going to having a baby!" and rubbing my belly. That makes me think "So if we weren't having a baby, you might do it again?!"

You don't need to reveal if you have ever cheated, but I just want to know if having a pregnant SO increases or decreases the chance of cheating. All my guy friends are also my husband's friends so I can't really ask them and I don't want to bring it up again in case I am just being crazy and hormonal. Please let me know what you think. Thanks!

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Re: I'm crashing for some advice! (Serious topic)

  • Not sure how much you can really draw out as a comparison. I personally have never been unfaithful before and with my wife pregnant I am more attrachted to her than before. I think like almost any issues unless he gives you a concrete reason to doubt him you should trust him. If not I would think it might lead to a caustic enviorment. Given the fact you have some history in that area I can understand it is hard,I hope it all works out well.
  • No... no.  Pregnant or not, I wouldn't cheat on my wife.  There is no "increasing or decreasing the chance of cheating."  It's simply no.

    I can't speak for other guys and considering your husband had that problem in the past, that is something you two will have to work through. I would say be open with him, if for no other reason than to calm your fears.  If there was something serious bothering my wife, she would tell me without hesitation.  

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  •  I have never or would never be unfaithful to my wife. There would never be a reason, not even if she lost all mobility and needed daily care. 

    Like the guy above, my wife is more beautiful to me every day that she is pregnant, and I tell her that daily.   Trust is the foundation of our relationship and we both agree that cheating is pretty much one of the worst things you can do to a person.  We also agree that if cheating occurs, all bets are off.  

     What was so amazing and special about him that you allowed yourself to take him back after he cheated on you your entire pre-marital life?  That to me would be an instant deal killer since its one of the worst things you can do to another persone.

    I dont want to say he will cheat, but it defineitly sounds like there are issues that need to be worked out before the baby comes.  If you feel like this now, it may get even worse later.

     Get some professional advice and prepare youself for the hard news.



    Baby Jackson Grant Due 9/20/13 BabyFetus Ticker
  • Personally, I have never cheated, felt the desire to cheat or ever plan to cheat.  My wife has been pregnant twice and never did the thought cross my mind to cheat on her.

    Frankly, I don't think that there is a correlation between what we do and what your husband would.  That being said, it is likely hormone induced paranoia.

  • imageColtsdad:

    Frankly, I don't think that there is a correlation between what we do and what your husband would.  That being said, it is likely hormone induced paranoia. 

     How can you say that its hormonal based on that?  While I agree that some of her paranoia is induced by hormones, there is still the issue that he cheated on her almost the entire length of their pre-marital relationship.  That has a tremendous impact.  That being said, do I think there is a correlation to pregnancy and cheating- no.

    I still would have left this looser the day I found out he cheated, period.

    Baby Jackson Grant Due 9/20/13 BabyFetus Ticker
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