TTC Check-In

healz413

If I remember correctly, this is a big week for a lot of folks on this board in their TTC journeys. So, let's hear your TTC updates--whether you're actively trying or still in the planning stages.

 

Question of the Day: If you got to be part of designing and implementing a queer fertility clinic, what is one thing you would love to see offered or prioritized there?

(I'm stealing this idea from Manada and a couple of our friends who have decided they would love to start a non-profit queer fertility clinic.)

Manada

Hi everyone,

I'm not sure where we're at this cycle, I'll let H. update - but it's looking like most of her cysts have gone away, leaving behind the two big ones left - we have named them "Frank" (the monster on her right side) and "Mary Anne" (the 21mm one on her left).   I got a photo of Frank today, I'll PIP it on Thursday if I can find a secret place to upload pics.

 

Had a bit of a panic attack in the clinic today.  And feel totally nuts admitting that.  But hey - it's a fact.  I am feeling uncomfortable with trusting our current clinic & doc, and while it's not like there is anything getting worse there this cycle,  I'm feeling increasingly less tolerant of the ups and downs of dealing with them.  I think the term is "on my last nerve".   

 H. and I are going to sit down and talk about our options for changing up the doc and/or clinic soon - I am sincerely hoping that a major change will help to give me a bit more confidence.

 

QOTD:  (this was a great idea I've been throwing around with a few people!)

Things I'd feature:

- Known donors would be welcome, and we would find constructive ways to define the Assisted Human Reproduction Act (which is a barrier to many LGBTQ people using known donors)...

- There would be encouragement of interaction in the waiting room so we could form community with other queer families.   

- The doctor's would be forthcoming with their strategies and reasoning, and informed consent would be the rule.   There would also be easy access to, and support around, financial decision making information with regards to treatment options.

- Everyone would make an effort to learn each others' names, and there would be an effort made to ensure continuity of care around nursing staff and ultrasound techs.

- LUBE would be standard procedure for use on the "vagic wand" (I can't believe how many times the tech didn't use lube!  Yikes!)

ball.and.chain

Healz, thanks for posting this check in -- I usually try to do it first thing but I have been kind of out of commission today.  And thank you for remembering this is a big week for us!

So, transfer is scheduled for tomorrow.  So what did I do on Friday but...come down with a nasty, nasty cold.  I swear I am not a whiny sick person, and I don't get sick often, but this is a doozy.  I've spent the last two days in bed or on the couch, drinking fluids like crazy, maxing out on vitamin C, and you would think that would help me recover quickly, but I feel just as crappy today as I did Saturday morning.  Chest congestion, sinus congestion, ear pressure, a cough, body aches, low fever and fatigue.  I was really worried that a) it was something worse than a cold and b) it would interfere with transfer.  So I saw my PCP this morning and she said my lungs are clear and it appears to just be a cold.  Also talked to my IVF nurse and she wants me on Tylenol to keep my temperature from rising too high, just in case, but otherwise says I am OK to proceed with transfer.  Phew!  We are going on vacation in May so we'd have to wait until June if we got cancelled again.

In other TTC news, my butt has been hurting like HELL since we started doing PIO shots last week.  I did them during my fresh cycle and do not remember being in this much pain, so I had my PCP check to make sure nothing looked infected.  Turns out my wife is injecting too low.  So she drew a box on my butt to use as a guideline and I am happy that at least moving forward I should be in less pain, because I still have weeks to go on these shots and I can barely sit right now.

QOTD: I have to say I have been very happy with our clinic.  Manada, I can't imagine them not using lube on the vagcam!  One of the things I like about our clinic is that the doctors are all female -- as are the nurses, the only men who work there are in the lab -- which makes me feel like they understand what it is like to go through some of this stuff.  As far as the LGBT angle goes, I think some REs want to jump to meds pretty quickly because they are used to treating women who are infertile, which we may not be; my RE actually told me when we moved to IVF that she hoped I wasn't offended because she had had a lesbian patient who was offended by her suggestion to move to IVF because the patient felt she was not infertile and didn't need extreme measures.  It actually made me wonder if my RE would have suggested IVF earlier if she hadn't had that experience...so I think either way the comfort level with intervention definitely needs to be discussed up front.

Manada

ball.and.chain:

So, transfer is scheduled for tomorrow. 

Good Luck tomorrow B&C!   I hope it goes completely, 100% smoothly!

 

2MamazInSeattle

Uber luck and everything crossed for ball.and.chain tomorrow!!!

M&H - hoping that Frank and Maryanne take a hike, and that moving clinics is a good thing should you go that route.

Well today I 'officially' started back to TTC. I started BCPs, resumed pre-natal vitamins and pre-natal fish oil (I'd been doing folic acid, and vitamin B all along. And vitamin D is required for life in Seattle ).

My calendar is set - so BCP's 4/29-5/15; Lupron shots start 5/11; Suppression check and vivelle/estrogen begin on 5/20; blood test 5/27; blood test and u/s lining check on 6/3- ET on June 11!

Right now I've got 6 weeks to focus on getting healthy again - I must say I've been a bit lazy since our loss followed up by wedding and honeymoon. So DW and I are back on track today with eating and exercise! Hoping being in the first tri during the summer months will make it easier to eat well and get outside!

QOTW: Our clinic has been 100% cool with us being lesbionic. But, I think treating the non-impregnating partner with equal eye contact and attention is important. I love the idea of actually learning names! And, I'd love to see support groups - based on things like: Just Starting Out; IVF'ers; 35+; Known Donors; TTC 6 cycles+ etc.

GoaliesWife123

TTC journey will be taking a back seat to time with my DW this coming cycle. This past cycle has been strange (I'll PIP my chart). I had a positive OPK, but then had 5 days of spotting (dark, almost black, spotting). Last weekend I had EWCM the size of a quarter (sorry for the TMI!)...I feel like things are just weird this cycle. 

DW and I spent the weekend with my bff and had an amazing time at a hockey tournament. Despite having a good time, I am more than ready for our vacation. We need to spend that time together and reconnect without our families getting in the way. Once we get back, we will resume the TTC process.

QOTD: I haven't had any experience with clinics, other than an occasional phone call and website view, however, if I had my own clinic, I would be sure to make it affordable for everyone. The costs are absurd.

Good luck to everyone! 

My Ovulation Chart 

doodah1013

Well, A and I are in our tww! We are feeling very positive, but not overconfident. We are just so happy to have gotten good signs of ovulation that we at least know we have taken a good step in the right direction. As usual, we are trying to be good to each other and keep ourselves distracted.
Every time we try we some how end up naming the possible baby something different. The first time it we called it the "maybe baby", the second try was named "Lord Voldemort" because we were trying not to talk about it all the time and for this one we are calling it "Michael Jordan" because we had the IUI on the 23rd it's the obvious name afterall! So here's hoping for Michael Jordan to stick around!
We'll know by this time next week!

MaryanneN

So great to hear where everyone is at. Fingers crossed for you all.

So I am cd6 and I have a lot coming up this month. Tomorrow in the am I have a blood test for my HSG on Thursday. My RE also said we can start ttc this month as well. We will be getting monitoring cd11 with a sono and more blood work. Then from there the dr said we will know when the first or only iui of the month will be. We r doing natural cycles hopefully once, but if not for a few months first before moving onto taking meds. I just can't believe all of our planning is coming true!! I am trying not to get my hopes up,but it is so hard not to.

QOTD: I'm not sure what I would do for my own, but I do know I would add more support groups on LI through the clinic for LGBT parenting. It is comforting to have this bond and knowing there is someone that you can find that understands what you r going through.

KH826

Wow - sounds like many of us have been busy in the TTC department lately! 

Best of luck to everyone waiting or about to start waiting, and sending lots of positive vibes to everyone else in the various stages of this journey!

I am currently 4dpiui - the wait hasn't been as bad as last time so far... But still a ways to go... Last night I didn't sleep well at all and tonight I am feeling achey. Hoping to have a better night's sleep tonight and wake up feeling better tomorrow. Overall though, the last 4 days have been relatively uneventful. 

QOTD: There have been some great ideas mentioned already. I really like the support group idea, and also agree that the increased financial information and counseling would be great. Also, I really like the idea of LGBT families helping one and other through the process to help defer costs -- one idea might be an anonymous donor exchange program where a lesbian couple could donate an egg in exchange for donated sperm from a gay male couple -- I feel like this could be complicated and I haven't fully thought out how such a program would work, but I like the concept.  

healz413

Best of luck to folks in their TWWs!

And so excited for ball.and.chain. Good luck tomorrow! 

And, 2MamazinSeattle--so happy that you have a schedule and are actively back in the process.

As Manada mentioned, we're struggling with how our past experiences at the clinic are affecting our current experiences there. The stress and anxiety makes for cycle monitoring that is no fun. Plus, today our doctor was covering for another doctor and we have to wait for 3 hours just to meet with her to get our blood test and ultrasound results. UGH! She promised us that wouldn't be the case the next time we come in, but we'll see.

 So, Frank and Mary Anne may be the holdouts on the cysts. If so, that's exciting! I have a couple 10 mm follicles and a couple of 7mm follicles, and we don't know whether they're actually follicles or cysts yet. But the doctor said that my cysts are not estrogen-producing cysts (which is a good thing). My estrogen levels are really low for day 10 of my cycle, so she thinks it may be a wonky cycle for me. I normally have long cycles (34 days) and ovulate about day 19, so it's possible that things will kick into gear either quickly over the next week or for a later than normal ovulation.

 We don't know yet whether my lead follicle is on the right or the left so we don't know whether an insemination is going to happen this month or not. (I have a blocked left fallopian tube so we will only inseminate if it's on the right.) However, we did get an assurance from the doctor today that 1) she recognizes that she may not be able to tell if something is a cyst or a follicle depending on what happens over the next while, 2) she will not inseminate unless she's sure that I'm ovulating on the right side, 3) she recognizes that donor sperm is expensive and that we do not want to waste it, and 4) if she's not positive whether the follicle is on my right or if it's a cyst when I surge, she would be willing to do an ultrasound and then try to inseminate shortly after I ovulate rather than right before I ovulate.

It seems that there is a good chance that this will just end up being a monitored cycle with no insemination--either because my lead follicle develops on the left or because things are too wonky/unsure with the cysts and what not. 

QOTD: I love KH826's idea of the reciprocal donation. I would also like to have a naturopath/acupuncturist on site. And maybe a little cafe (specializing in no-caf and low-caf beverages, of course) on site. Maybe the cafe would have a small queer/feminist bookstore or used bookstore as a part of it.

candimc26

Hi all, I'm new to the site. 34 yr old in the tww for baby #2!

 When I was pregnant with my first, one of my first pregnancy signs, it turned out, was to get a cold (in the middle of summer). Well, here I am, 5dpo and with a cold. Fingers crossed! I also have lots of discharge that I don't remember having in previous cycles, but I'm a hypervigilant maniac right now so I am not to be trusted.

 Going to test tomorrow (super early, I know) only because my parents are in town and it would be sweet to share the news if there is any news to share. Last time I tested positive on 9dpo. 

 The cold is making my head to cloudy to answer the QOTD!