Father in Law advice

mamathompson7

My FIL has, ummmmmm, let's call them boundary issues (trying to feed Hunter things even after we say that we don't want him to have them, he had our trees trimmed after months of badgering us to get it done, suggests that our furniture should be arranged differently- then proceeds to move the couches around, it goes on and on).

The new thing that is driving me CRAZY right now is that he constantly lets Hunter put his hands in his mouth (my FIL's mouth). Just now, he walked in the door holding Hunter and his hand was all the way in his mouth. I know that babies are drawn to mouths for whatever reason, but the only does it to my husband or I when we are feeding him his night time bottle, but we just kind of subconsciously redirect his hands and he does some thing else. It happens every time he holds Hunter or even sits next to him at a table or on the couch. His hand come out all..... 'spitty'. I think it is freaking disgusting.

I am pretty non confrontational, but have said things out loud that you would think would get the idea across. Today, he came in (with the hand all up in his mouth) and was going to wash his hands, I said, "We should probably wash Hunter's too since they are in your mouth". Before he left (5 min later) they were back in his mouth.

Any ideas for things I can say that kind of beat around the bush? 

ELF4321

First, ewwwww........

Second, how does YH feel about all of this?  I think when it comes to ILs, it's best to let their own child handle the big "talks". 

mamathompson7

He hates it too, but they argue about everything under the sun because is dad is a super *sshole. And this is coming from someone who doesn't cuss. Ever. When I got stuck with the amnio needle I yelled out "Flippers" b/c I just don't do it. He's a jack***.

So, he gives off as many not so subtle, yet not direct hints about it, but well, ya know. It is still happening.  

mamathompson7

zoeygirl1105:

What if you directed it towards Hunter? Like "Don't put your hand in his mouth" and remove his hand from his mouth. Ew. Would he get the hint? 

That's a good idea! I think usually I am in a state of shock and then just want to look away b/c ewwww. 

[Deleted User]

my MIL and FIL always gave DD their cell phones thinking it was okay... so i found an article about how dirty they were and emailed it to them (and my 'rents too)...  maybe find a "reason" (as if what you WANT isn't good enough... sometimes this helps w/ difficult parents) and that might help???

good luck! 

bellelamb

Honestly I think this is a pick your battles type of thing. Honestly what harm is it doing if his hands in his mouth?? Now if he was doing something dangerous then it's worth a fight. Or limit Hunters alone time with him if you think he's really doing something wrong.