Getting 3 yr old to wear warm clothes. Should I make her.

KateLouise

DD1 generally chooses her own clothes for the day. She's pretty good at laying them out the night before.and I'm pretty relaxed about what she wears and only put my foot down about not wearing some of her "best" clothes, and needing to be warm/cool enough.

Its not very cold here right now, but it is autumn and the days tend to start off chilly, and although they warm up the days don't get very hot.

DD1 and I tend to disagree about her needing a warm layer on. We've come to an arrangement where as long as she wears a cardigan in the car, she can take it off when she gets to daycare if she feels too warm in it. (obviously daycare is heated). So inevitably we walk in the door, she strips off her cardigan and she runs around in her t-shirt and shorts (because lord knows i can't get a long-sleeved top or pants on her) 

So I'm starting to wonder if maybe I'm making a battle of something that I don't need to. Today she wanted to wear a sleeveless dress, and I insisted she put a top on under it for warmth. There was a meltdown, and part way through I thought to myself, "why are you having this battle." but I didn't want to back down and ultimately she chose something else to wear.

She is pretty good at saying when she's cold and asking for a cardigan or socks. 

So I guess my question is, do I let her choose how many warm clothes to wear, or is this a , "mother knows best" situation that she has just has to accept, baring in mind that our current temperature is not THAT cold, and she obviously gets warm running around.

I can't decide and wondered what AP thinks. 

arizonatea

What my mother always did for me and what I plan to do, is she would lay out about 3 outfits each item of clothing would look okay if mix matched and I got to choose what to wear. I like this because they still have the freedom to choose, but they don't walk around looking crazy and they are warm enough.

I think its important to let kids pick what to wear but also important to teach them how to coordinate clothing. Letting her shed layers at daycare is good too.

SandiaPinaMama

Meh, I just keep a sweatshirt in my car. I would not fight that battle.

TiffanyBerry

I have chosen not to partake in this fight.  DD also hates wearing warm clothing (though she'll wear long sleeve shirts all the time, she often would go without pants at all if I let her, and a jacket is laughable).  She will actually tell you "I just want to get cold".

And, honestly, who am I to tell her if she is cold or not?  My neurons do not connect to hers.  I do not know what temperature she is or how she feels about that temperature.  My elementary school had a teacher who said "if I'm cold, you are wearing a jacket" all the time, and it drove me bat-doodoo-crazy even as an eighth grader.

So, DD gets to pick what she wants to wear (well, it has to be clean, and she has to wear pants/skirt/something other than just a diaper on her butt if we're going somewhere that's not just our yard).  Well, if it is raining hard, I will push the issue on a coat or fleece if we'll be outside longer than a trip from a car to indoors.  (We're in Seattle... a drizzle is just status-quo.)

But if I think she is likely to end up under-dressed, I will bring extras along with me.  For instance, if we go hiking, even when it's in the mid-40's, she doesn't want to wear anything but her long sleeve shirt and pants.  Ok.  I bring a fleece, hat, and mittens, and make sure she knows that I have them with me, and I offer them if she starts acting like she might be cold.

I chose this route because I would rather respect her choices whenever possible, and this is a choice that is very subjective.  (Before moving up here, from Southern California, I thought of 60F as chilly.  Now, after acclimating, it's t-shirt weather.)  There are lines that are not subjective (no, she doesn't get to go running around in wet snow without shoes or a jacket - the risk of frostbite is creeping in, but the risk of injuring numb-from-the-cold toes/hands is very real).

I also chose this route because I'm lazy and hate battles I don't have to have. 

KateLouise

Thanks ladies..I suspected I was setting myself up for ridiculous arguments, plus I have often thought, "how should I know if she's cold," when in fact she appears to be perfectly comfortable.

I think some of what was driving me was, "what will the other parents/staff think?" All the other kids are bundled up and my girl breezes in, in a sundress (and would be barefoot if I let her). She always has multiple changes of clothes in her bag, that cover any possibility for being hot or cold, which she has easy access to. So I don't really know why it bothers me.

I couldn't care less what she looks like in terms of her clothes matching, or how "creative" she might look. 

Thanks for your input. 

emilykathleen511

This was actually one of my biggest pet peeves when I worked at a daycare. I'm sorry if I'm coming on strong, but this issue really gets to me, lol. I don't think it should be a battle for the following reasons:

1. Everyone's idea of warm/cold is different. While one person may think it's really cold out, another may not think it's cold at all. (This was *especially* true at the daycare where the kids were running around while the teachers would be mulling around. There were teachers that would force the issue, even though our center's policy was the exact opposite. *sigh*)

2. This is the perfect example of a natural consequence. You don't wear a sweater? You'll be cold. (Of course you DO need to force the issue if it is dangerously cold out, but we're talking literally freezing out. Remember that temperature does NOT make a person sick. The only way they're getting sick is if they go into hypothermia. It doesn't sound from your post that she is in danger of that).

3. The preschool years is the time when children learn how to self-regulate themselves, and figure things out like when they need to put a sweater on, and when they can take it off. Being in control of this is one of the many pieces of the puzzle to help them learn to be in control of themselves and their bodies overall.

FWIW, I'm didn't make this stuff up; I have a Bachelor's in child development. I know that there are people who are way more knowledgeable about child development than me, but hopefully my degree means something besides paying lots of student loans. lol. Again, sorry if I came on strong. Hope that helps.

Ilumine

My DD has very succinct ideas on what she wants to wear, when she wants to wear them.  She loves having that freedom to do it all on her own.  HOWEVER, I needed to control her choices to some extent, especially when we were in Germany (brrrr). 

So I did a few things:

1) She has two drawers to choose from - her school/church/nice clothes and her play outside clothes.  I tell her which drawer to choose from, but she can choose whichever outfit she wants.

2) School clothes come in full outfit sets.  She can choose any outfit (top and pants or dress).  And then she can decide on any pair of socks (she loves funky colored and patterned socks) and shoes she wants (as long as they fit the weather - no open toes in snow or rain). 

3) Play clothes are pretty much purchased to be mixed and matched.  I shop Jumping Beans just for that reason.  She is allowed to pick whatever top and bottom she wants.  

4) She must always wear appropriate outerwear to and from the car.  But once inside its up to her.  She has a zip sweater that she keeps at school if she gets cold.  If we are out and about and she gets cold, that is on her.  Life Lessons and all that.  

tokenhoser

My kid is only 2, but he's already got ideas. If he doesn't want to put on his coat, I don't make him. I bring it, and he'll usually put it on once we get outside and he feels that it is cold. (It's still right around freezing in the morning here.) If not, it goes in the daycare bag. He'll usually wear it without a fight for her.

I only have appropriate clothes in his drawers, so he can't pick shorts to wear yet because there aren't any. The spring/fall time can be a bit tricky, but if you don't want her wearing a sundress, pack it up for a month. 

KateLouise

We're in between seasons, and the days tend to start chilly, but then fine up, and obviously with her running around she gets hot. 

So I'm not too bothered about shorts, t-shirts and sundresses, it's that I want her to wear a warm layer that she can take off as it warms up. But as it cools down I will definitely take on board the idea of removing clothes that are out of season.

I love the idea of having a drawer for play clothes, and a drawer for "best" clothes, because some of our disagreements are around her wanting to wear a party dress to daycare where it will only get covered in paint.

Today she picked a top and skirt, I asked her if she was warm enough, and she said yes. I told her there was a cardigan in her bag if she got cold, and that was the end of it. Much easier and more pleasant.

Then I had a chuckle when I dropped her off, because a little boy was sweating and red in the face after running around and the teacher was taking off his layer of thermals. 

PayolaCrayola

My DD is 2 but since she was a baby she was always "hot-blooded". I say that she inherited her Daddy's East Coast genes because having grown up in Cali my whole life I also get chilly when its anything below 70. But DD will glady be in just her diaper if she can. She has NEVER slept with any sort of blanket or sheets. I still worry because I wake up and her little legs feel cold but the minute I cover her she wakes up and says "hot, mom" and kicks them off.

So yea i dont fight with her all that much. I carry her hoody and she tells me when she wants it.

nosoup4u

DS1 refuses to wear socks. No idea why, bc he'll wear them with his rain or snow boots, just not with his sneakers. This winter he would take his sneakers to school, and take his socks off at school. He also hates long-sleeved t-shirts (seriously, he's worn 1 out of like 4-5 that I've bought for him. DS2 will have some very nice hand-me-downs!), so our compromise is fleece sweatshirts when he's chilly, and various other layers depending on how cold it is when he goes outside. As long as she's not running around in the snow wearing only a t-shirt, I don't think it's something to fight with her about.

ETA: DS1 also boycotted underwear for months this winter. We decided not to make a big deal of it, thinking he'd start wearing it again when he realized we didn't care, but he did the opposite and just didn't wear it. Sigh. Drove me crazy after awhile, because no underwear on a little kid = stinkier pants that can only be worn once! So my mom confession is that I'd offer him undies and casually tell him he could have a piece of chocolate if he wore them. It totally worked, and he got used to wearing undies again (without the offer of chocolate, hee hee). Bribery FTW!

Andplusalso, I once worked at a preschool in which one of the teachers would decide if it was warm enough for kids to take their coats off, and if not, the kids *had* to have their coats on (and it would be like 60-65 degrees out). Insane and nonsensical! 

emilykathleen511

nosoup4u:

Andplusalso, I once worked at a preschool in which one of the teachers would decide if it was warm enough for kids to take their coats off, and if not, the kids *had* to have their coats on (and it would be like 60-65 degrees out). Insane and nonsensical! 

Yes, thank you! I think maybe you worked at the same place as me! lol. There was one teacher in particular who would literally yell, "You put your coat on right now!" at the kids if they took their coats off. Meanwhile, I'm standing there in a T-shirt perfectly comfortable, having just told the kids, "Yeah, sure you can take your coat off."

Fail.