Allergy/BF/Formula/Life Frustration (Sorry, Long!)

Jenny935

Hi Ladies - Sorry I've been MIA. Life has been nuts around here. After 6 weeks of EBF, DS started having terrible stools. First they were just green, so the LC & Doc both suggested block feeding to see if it was foremilk/hindmilk imbalance. After almost a week of stools getting worse (more mucous and bloody), they suggested cutting out dairy. After 7 days of being dairy free (even hidden dairy), we were at the point where it didn't even look like poop anymore - just dark green mucous and blood. The doc strongly suggested we try alimentum for a week or so just to give his gut a rest and see if we could bring him back to baseline. Meanwhile, I'm continuing to be dairy free and now I'm soy free too in the hopes that another week will get me that much cleaner and then we can re-introduce my milk into his healed belly. I'm pumping to try to keep up my supply, but I'm worried about that. Of course the LC thinks I shouldn't have 'given in' and tried the alimentum, the doc knows that I want to BF and is also concerned about the baby's gut getting so torn up that he isn't getting nutrients anymore. I'm so frustrated. Thank goodness it's weekend because DH is doing almost everything baby related while I am connected to the pump constantly! 

ARGH I say! Before this, I was pumping about once a day after a feeding to give Daddy a few bottles a week and start my stash. (A stash that is tainted with allergens now!) Luckily he is happy to take a bottle and didn't turn his nose up at this (expensive, stinky) formula. He's also not crying in pain, and today's poop didn't have blood. That's all good. But last night he was fussy and didn't understand why I wouldn't open my shirt, and then had a hard time falling asleep because he's used to nursing to sleep. (That would have been a problem eventually I guess, but I wasn't ready for it at just under 8 weeks.) 

 I'm hoping to go back to BF, and I know the party line is that BF is best, but if we can't figure out the allergen then I'm not the best source of his food. And honestly, I don't think I could be a good parent on the total elimination diet because I'd be so stressed and depressed. So if this is the turn our life takes, then so be it, right? 

I think maybe over all the years of IF I got this rose colored view of what babies would be like. Some of the difficulties are hard, but I figure they're something everyone deals with. This is nothing I thought about!

If you are still reading, here's a cookie for you.  

kmc84

Hang in there momma!!! That sounds awefulyour poor little guy. I'm glad it's getting better for him.

IBackBevo

Wow. I am sorry you are going through this.  You sound so much like myself...only LO could never latch because he was so tiny and weak so I had to pump around the clock, take all sorts of supps and drugs to keep up supply, etc.

My LO had a milk protein intolerance and GERD.  To be honest with you, life got so, so, so much easier and everyone was happier (and LO was healthier!) when I switched him to Alimentum.  I made myself miserable over the whole breastfeeding thing for the first 8-9 weeks and now I look back and just think, "What was I thinking?"  LO has done so much better on the Alimentum and after about a week on it, we had an entirely new baby.  Just my experience, but if the Alimentum is working, I would not beat myself up or make myself miserable trying to go to the ends of the earth to *make* something work that just isn't working.  Just my two cents.

Jenny935

IBackBevo:

 Just my experience, but if the Alimentum is working, I would not beat myself up or make myself miserable trying to go to the ends of the earth to *make* something work that just isn't working.  Just my two cents.

 Thanks for that.

I'm leaning that way, because taking dairy out is one thing, but past that it gets a little insane. I keep telling myself that if I was willing to jab needles in my stomach why can't I handle the thought of a limited diet? But a) the needles were just for a couple weeks and b) there WAS no other option. I didn't pick the needles over plain ole regular baby making!

 

amandaleigh1

Feeding issues in out little ones are so hard! It sounds like you made a wise choice to listen to your doc and start your lo on the alimentium.

As far as continuing to pump and to try an elimination diet, you are going to have to go with your gut on that one. Try not to feel guilted into continuing with trying to provide breast milk. Sometimes BM is the best thing for an LO and sometimes it is formula. For me and my LO, it turns out formula was the way to go.

DS had feeding issues and I had a low supply and I felt liberated when I gave up pumping. The time it took away from quality time with my baby just simply wasnt worth it. I decided that my baby needed me more than the meager BM I was trying to provide.

The decision is never easy, though. Hugs.

Mrs.AmyDylan

So sorry you are having such troubles. I hope your little man heals up and feels better soon. Good luck with your decision on BF or formula going forward. 

nycitygirl1

I know the party line that BF is "best" but honestly, many of us were raised on formula completely and are totally fine. The most important thing is that your baby's digestive system heals and that YOU are happy and doing okay.

It sounds like the Alimentum is working - so why drive yourself crazy and and go on the total elimination diet? 

My LO is on Alimentum as well as he had terrible gas problems in the beginning that prevented him from sleeping well and he was in so much pain. I am SO glad we found Alimentum and he's really become a different baby on it. Anyway, just don't feel like you "have" to go back to BFing if that's not what is going to work for your family. Your baby got plenty of good nutrients and antibodies the first 6 weeks or so that you BF'd.

Hugs!!

Dragonfly1226

I could throat punch that LC for making you feel guilty! You made the decision that was right for you and your LO. There are just too many people out there who want to make moms feel like we are doing something wrong if we make a choice that is different than theirs. I say F them. I can't imagine how difficult it was to watch your LO get sicker and sicker, and it sounds like you tried to make changes before trying formula. If it works out that you can and WANT to BF after this then I say go for it. But if you decide that formula is what's best for your family then that's great too. You worked too hard to have your LO to spend these infant months tying yourself in knots about BFing issues. I am so sorry that you and your LO have been through so much! (((hugs)))

Jenny935

You guys rock. Thanks for giving me support and the reminder that life will go on!

TJ1979

First of all, huge hugs to you. You and LO have certainly been through a lot. And i hope things get better really soon. Secondly, I agree with everything PPs have said. You have to do what is best for everyone involved, including you. Happy mom equals happy baby. And I'm glad you got a lot of great support. However, I do want to add a pro breastfeeding comment as well. Yes, dairy and soy free is hard. But it gets much easier when get used to the diet and the restrictions. And it is possible to continue having a normal life and a great BFing relationship if milk and or soy is the problem. The bf board has a check in on Mondays where we talk about how the diet is going, what we struggle with, recipes, successes etc. I've been dairy, soy, and gluten free all year and it's second nature now. Of course, with that being said, if it doesn't work for your whole family, or it doesn't clear up LO's issues, or you just don't want to, that is totally fine too. I just wanted to let you know that if this is the path you choose, it can be done and there is support out there. Again, big hugs and I hope this came across as support, not bf naziism

mnj05

I made myself feel guilty for switching to EFF at first too. Once I let it go, we were all so much happier and I wasn't stressed anymore. I hope your little guy's stomach feels better! It's so sad to see these itty bittys feeling bad!

queenbone

I'm so sorry that sounds like such a rough experience for both you and baby! I love nursing, but having to cut so many things out of my diet would be sad. I don't know if I would have been able to succeed under those circumstances.

I hope you are able to find out what is making him sick so that you can resume nursing. And if not, you certainly gave it a rockstar effort so don't beat yourself up about it. You are doing a great job doing the best for your baby!

Jenny935

TJ1979:

First of all, huge hugs to you. You and LO have certainly been through a lot. And i hope things get better really soon. Secondly, I agree with everything PPs have said. You have to do what is best for everyone involved, including you. Happy mom equals happy baby. And I'm glad you got a lot of great support. However, I do want to add a pro breastfeeding comment as well. Yes, dairy and soy free is hard. But it gets much easier when get used to the diet and the restrictions. And it is possible to continue having a normal life and a great BFing relationship if milk and or soy is the problem. The bf board has a check in on Mondays where we talk about how the diet is going, what we struggle with, recipes, successes etc. I've been dairy, soy, and gluten free all year and it's second nature now. Of course, with that being said, if it doesn't work for your whole family, or it doesn't clear up LO's issues, or you just don't want to, that is totally fine too. I just wanted to let you know that if this is the path you choose, it can be done and there is support out there. Again, big hugs and I hope this came across as support, not bf naziism

 

 

Thanks. It isn't Naziism when someone has been successful and gives me hope. at first I thought we could figure out the allergens while he was still BF but I went along with the trial to see if we could at least start from clean slate. Thanks for the heads up on the check in! 

ccam

Good luck in whatever you end up deciding to do.  BFing, switching to formula, etc was the hardest thing that we went through.  Ultimately, you have to do what's best for both of you.  A happy mom = a happy baby

winofairy

I am sorry things have been so rough for you and your LO!  I hope things get better for you both soon!

Mr. & Mrs. Woodtick

I just wanted to wish you GL with your decision. We had a lot of these same issues in the beginning and it was a difficult decision for us trying to decide what path to take moving forward. Bottom line is you have to do what is right for you and your family and you can't listen to anyone else (other than your doc of course). We did make the decision to continue BF but for the first month I still constantly struggled with whether or not I had made the right decision. As PP said, eventually things did get easier.

No matter what you decide to do, try not to feel guilty - easier said than done I know.

In my experience when your LO has allergies it seems as though everyone has an opinion. If you choose to continue BF everyone will ask you why you didn't just switch to formula, if you switch to formula some people will TRY to make you feel guilty for not continuing to BF. F em all. Do what is right for YOU and don't look back. I spent so much time worrying about what others had to say about the situation and it didn't matter at the end of the day because it wasn't anyones' business but ours.